Last day of 2008

We missed nearly a whole week of discipline during Christmas. We had family in town, staying with us, for a few days during the week. Then we were out of town, staying with friends for the weekend.

This week we started back up with a spanking on Monday, and again on Wednesday. J tells me that we will keep with the 3 days a week, indefinitely.

He also said that next time we miss a week, I will get spanked every day for the following week. He tells me my attitude greatly suffers when we miss a full week of spanking.

Wednesday's spanking was really bad for me. I felt defiant the whole time and I just wanted it to be over. To make things worse, I forgot (as usual) to Thank J for spanking me. I'm sure I have further punishment for that. We can talk about it tomorrow, though. Tonight we are going to party!

Happy New Year!

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas!  Happy Holidays!  

Hope you all enjoy your holiday season.

Cassady & Jack

Masturbating

Tonight's spanking hurt more than usual. I don't know why. Some days I feel like I could take a lot more than I get, and other days (like tonight) it feels like I've never been spanked before. I couldn't stop squirming, and I could not wait for it to be over. Maybe it has something to do with hormones.

J wants me to masturbate tomorrow before I do my chores, before I turn on the computer, basically before I do anything else. He thinks it will be a good stress reliever for me.

I would not normally complain about masturbating, but my hand is hurting me tonight. I spent hours and hours writing out our Christmas cards. We send hundreds out to our business clients, in addition to our friends & family. But I'm sure I can find a toy to help me out.

Speaking of stress relief, J has a lot of busy, stressful conferences and work related stuff coming up in the next month or two. He mentioned that I will be relieving him of some of his stress. Orally. So I imagine I'm going to find myself on my knees a lot in Jan/Feb.

Quickie

Just wanted to check in really quickly and let you all know things are still going well.

J and I have both been busy with work and with getting ready for the upcoming holidays. We've been fitting our spankings in, but they've been pretty standard.

After the holidays we will have more time for fun. I'll be posting more often, too.

Quick update

Things are back to normal, if you want to call it that, with our discipline schedule. I got my Wednesday spanking and it was pretty standard. J is really liking me over the pillows on the bed. It's a bit more comfortable for me, but I wouldn't say I like it any better. I think J gets better leverage. He can definitely restrain me more in that position.

J wants to stay with the 3 times a week schedule, as much as we can. We will have to do some adjusting in the next several weeks. We have friends & family visiting at different times between now and the end of Dec.

We are probably going to stay pretty busy through the holidays and a bit after, so my blog posting may be sporadic. I will post new things when I can.

Thank you everyone who has been reading and sending me comments. I'm glad you are having fun reading about our adventures. It's been fun living our adventures, and writing about them, too.

Sorry to have been away so long...

Last week was crazy for J and I. Both with work and with family. We had no time for anything else.

I stayed relatively motived. Well, I at least got my chores and errands finished each day.

I had no discipline all week. I know J felt bad about it, but I really think it's ok. He did notice I was a bit grumpier than normal, but that was partially due to being so busy, not getting to spend really any time together for multiple days in a row, and having a sinus headache all week.

We started back up yesterday and I think we're on our way to being back on track with discipline. Oh, and J found us a new position for my 3 times weekly spankings. (New to us, not new to the "spanking world"). He laid out a couple of pillows on the bed, and had me lay over them. J sat next to me and was able to wrap his arm around my waist, which gave him better control. It was also a little more restricting for me.

Other times when we've tried to live our lives this way, if we missed a week of discipline, it would be a struggle to start back up. We would normally fall right back into bad habits. But this time it was so easy to just start back up. Which is why I'm not worried about the week we skipped. I don't think J is either. He reads this blog regularly now, so I'm sure we'll talk about it after he sees the blog, if not before.

J seems to have really gotten the hang of being strict when he needs to be without overdoing it, which I think might have been a problem for us before. On the one hand, he doesn't usually let me slide, but at the same time I don't feel he is unreasonable. And he's very in tune to me, so he knows when not to push and when to be very stern.

Permission

Sunday J decided I would have to ask him permission to do anything all day. I kept forgetting and would get up to do something and then have to come all the way back into the room, sit back down, and ask J. He always said yes to whatever I asked, it was just about having to ask - even to go to the bathroom!

Later in the evening he pulled me into the bedroom and took me "against my will". Now before anyone worries, it's not really against my will, it's only against my will symbolically. J knows my limits and if I really felt strongly about it, he would have respected my wishes. But overall, I've given him blanket "permission" to do whatever he wants. J can read me very well and I trust him to know if something is truly wrong and act accordingly. So far, he absolutely has.

So, as I was saying, he pulled me into the bedroom and yanked my pants & underwear down, he stuffed my underwear in my mouth, spread my legs and thrust into me. We were both half dressed and half undressed. J was half on the bed and half standing over me, holding my wrists above my head. It was hot!

Right before bed he was asking for a blow job. I didn't feel like it. There was no specific reason, I just felt a little bit grumpy about it, so I protested. He threatened me with a spanking several times before I finally did it. I don't know if I have earned a pussy spanking tomorrow or not. The rule is if I refuse or am grumpy about anything sexual I will get my pussy spanked, but J didn't say anything about it. I guess I will find out on Monday after he gets home from work.

Weekend

Friday:
Friday night I got an extra long, extra hard spanking with the big rectangular wooden paddle. We have dinner plans with some of J's friends on Saturday night. His friends are ok, but their wives are idiots. I have been known to sometimes take a certain tone when I am talking to them. It's the tone that J hates. So he wanted to make sure that this spanking is fresh in my mind tomorrow night.

I was in my usual, over his knee position, on the bed. I had a big blanket wrapped around me so I would't get cold. He usually spanks me for awhile, then has me kneel up and he lectures me, then spanks some more. Tonight he still did that but he added some lecturing while he was spanking me. I think it was effective in that it forced me to focus on what was happening and not let my mind wander.

At every spanking session, J checks in with me to make sure I am still wanting this and that I feel things are working (yes and yes), and I always ask him the same things (yes and yes).

Saturday:
On Saturday we were dressed and ready to meet J's friends. Right before leaving, J told me to bend over the bed. Our bed just happens to be waist level for me, so it's very easy for me to be in this position. J sits next to me and puts one arm around my waist to hold me in position. He took my pants down and spanked me really hard with the leather slappy paddle - once on each cheek. He said that was to remind me not to use my bitchy tone with the wives tonight. I think I will remember. That paddle stings!

Update: J told me on Saturday night, after we got home, that since I was so well behaved at dinner, he would cancel my Monday night spanking, so I'm pretty glad about that. He also told me that I absolutely have to go back to the gym on Monday. If not, there is a severe punishment waiting for me.

Strap

We were once again limited on time tonight (Wednesday), but J definitely did not want to skip a spanking. So while we were getting dressed to go out, J said, "Bend over the bed, we're going to take care of this now."

He used an implement that is referred to as the "punishment" strap. It is a leather strap with a wooden handle. It's very heavy and it hurts! He spanked me with that for just a few minutes and reminded me of the reasons we are doing this. I'm glad it didn't last long, I can't take much with that strap.

When we were finished, J said I should think about what that strap feels like, because if he needs to punish me, he'll most likely be using that strap. Yikes!

That's something

I totally forgot about Monday's spanking. I was involved in 2 projects that consumed all of my thoughts and I just wasn't even thinking about spankings. So when J said, "Hey Cass, go into the bedroom, take off your clothes and wait for me," it came as a complete surprise. But only for a second.

J has a totally different voice he uses when he's about to discipline me. It's very authoritative and I know he means it. He is otherwise very softspoken and gentle. It's only when he's in punishment/discipline/etc. mode that he sounds so stern.

I was spanked a lot harder tonight. I was squirming all over the place, I could barely take it. J says my butt is getting more used to being spanked often and he doesn't want me to build up a tolerance. Also, he wants to make sure I change modes from relaxing weekend to back to the grind work-week. I think it worked. Ouch!

I think J has found a good balance between knowing when to be really strict and when to not push things. The pace we are going has really been working well for both of us.

I'm not 100% motivated all the time, but I do get all of my daily chores and errands completed every day, so that's something.

Something's working

So last week we missed one of my spanking days. J made sure to spank me a little bit harder and a little bit longer on Friday to make up for it. He used that long rectangular wooden paddle. Right at the end he made me count the last 10 outloud. They hurt the most. He also wanted to make sure I remember the spanking all weekend.

J said he can definitely tell a difference in my motivation from just skipping one spanking day. He told me on Friday that we will continue with the 3 days a week spankings through at least next week.

Something funny happened this weekend. I was having lunch with a friend and she made a comment that she noticed lately I had less of a bitchy tone in my voice. Not that it's something I have all the time, but if you are around me enough, you'll eventually hear it. She said she noticed it less in recent weeks. I chuckled to myself and just told her I had been working on that.

J was pleased when I told him what my friend said. I feel good about it too.

Brrrr.

Monday was really cold, so when I was getting my spanking, J used a blanket to cover me up so I wouldn't be too cold. The only thing uncovered was my butt! The blanket was huge and fell all around my head, I sort of felt like I was in a little tent. I could see out straight ahead, but not to either side.

J used the big wooden rectangular paddle for the spanking. It is one of the worst paddles we have. He explained that he was using it so that I would be aware of what a punishment spanking would be like. He didn't spank me as hard or as long as he would if it was a punishment spanking, but he wanted me to feel that paddle. Just as a reinforcement/reminder.

Later in the evening we had some fun. J had me lay on the edge of our bed, on my side, and he stood in front of me. I was able to finish what we had started earlier in the day. We also discovered, in this position, that he could use the tawse and gently whip me while I was sucking him.

I should have had a spanking tonight (Wednesday), but J had a work related emergency and though he was able to work from home, he was working well past 10pm. I'm sure we will make up for it soon.

Collar

J wanted me to wear my collar while I was doing my chores today. I don't usually have problems with the collar, but for some reason today, it rubbed a raw spot on my neck. I didn't have it on for very long either. I did the dishes, cleaned up the kitchen, dusted, and made a few phone calls. That was less than 2 hours.

J stopped home on his lunch break today to pick something up. While he was here, he commanded me to kneel in front of him, unzip his pants, and take him into my mouth. He didn't have time to finish, though, so we'll probably get to that later tonight.

I still haven't gotten back to the gym. It's been ages since I've been there. I've been feeling so lazy and blubbery lately, I must get back into the gym routine. Oh why can't I just sit around eating cupcakes all day?

I have my Monday spanking to "look forward to" tonight. Otherwise I think J and I are going to curl up on the couch and watch a movie.

Relaxing Weekend

Tonight J was playing with a crease in my pants. It was a little annoying so I grumbled at him. J did not appreciate that at all. He told me to take my pants off and that I had lost the privilege of wearing pants for the rest of the night.

So I am sitting here with no pants on while I write this blog.

J read the blog this weekend. He definitely approved of it, and he said he really enjoyed reading it.

I didn't have any chores to do this weekend, because I got them all completed during the week! So this weekend was nice and relaxing. Plus, I got a nice massage from J on Sunday.

I like the pace we are going. We're not trying everything at once, but I still feel like we aren't stuck in one place.

More Weekend Thoughts

The other day J noticed an old wooden ruler I have sitting on my desk. He commented that it would be a great implement for spanking my pussy. The only thing is that it has a rough edge. So he decided this weekend he will take it into the garage and sand it down. I'm semi excited, semi nervous about it as a spanking implement, especially on my pussy. I'll let you know if he has to use it.

I'm always thinking about what it is J and I do. What it's called. There's not really a name that fits, we're just living our lives. I've been reading this other blog a lot called The Punishment
Book. One of the women posted something there that really hit home with me. She said, "maybe he realized that doing this for me wasn't about him being "head of household" or "dominant male" but taking care of someone he loves."

That really resonated with me. That is exactly how I feel about J and I. He's not really the HOH in the traditional sense of the word. He hasn't taken over, but he does help me do what's best
for me, and he takes care of me. It just so happens that I respond to having some discipline and routine in my life. And I trust him enough to handle it.

Thank you.

I find when it is one of my normal spanking days, I feel like I need to be spanked. I feel like if I went one more day before getting spanked, I would slack off on my daily chores and errands.
Anytime I think about slacking, I just remember my last spanking and it is definitely a deterrent.

We have a plethora of spanking implements but J has been really hooked on the round wooden paddle lately. That's what he used for tonight's spanking. He likes me to bend over his lap, as he sits on the bed. He starts with his hand to give me a nice warm up, then has me kneel up while he reminds me why we are doing this. He asks me if I like having more structure (yes), he asks me if I am enjoying the house being clean and my chores being done (yes), asks if I like having a bedtime (no), asks if I think getting spanked regularly is helping me have a better attitude (yes). He pushes me back over his lap and continues with the paddle. I like the break in between. Not just because it gives my butt a break, but because it helps me refocus on the spanking and the reasons for it.

I'm still having trouble remembering to thank him for spanking me. It's not that I'm not thankful, I just don't think about it. It's a simple matter of just saying thank you that J really likes. I wish I could remember to do it every time.

Journal

Most days, getting to bed on time is not a problem. But once in awhile I get involved in a project online and I don't want to stop. I am a "night owl", so I've always stayed up late.

Tonight's spanking was a bit more intense than they have been lately, because I whined about having a bedtime. J doesn't like whining at all.

I haven't gotten an actual punishment spanking yet. I haven't felt the need to brat at all, because I'm getting spanked regularly. And they hurt enough that I don't want any extra spankings.

J was at a business meeting today and someone gave him a notepad for taking notes. As he was showing it to me, he joked that he was going to give it to me so I could keep a journal. Maybe that's a sign I should tell him about the blog. I think I will this weekend when he'll have time to read it.

Spare Time.

Getting my "chores" and errands completed before I turn the computer on has been great! I get everything finished quickly and I even seem to end up with some spare time every day.

I need to get back into an exercise routine. I have gotten lazy with that and my muscles feel like they are turning into mush. That's the next thing I really need to work on.

When J came home from work tonight I greeted him in just a robe, my collar, and leash. He told me I looked hot. He led me to the bedroom and I knelt in front of him. I performed oral sex on him for a few minutes and then we had great sex. He used the leash to pull me into different positions.

My Monday spanking came a few hours later and was average in intensity, with the wooden paddle. I will still feel it tomorrow, but it isn't uncomfortable to sit. J says we will continue with 3 times a week this week and next week and then will see if we can take it down to 2 weeks. He told me tonight that he's pleased with the way things have been going. I am too.

I haven't told J I'm writing this blog yet. At first I wanted to wait until I had a few posts up here so he'd actually have something to read. But then I thought that I don't want him to be swayed in any way by something I've said. This is the first time he's taken the sole lead role in this and it's going really well.

So now I'm not sure when I will tell him about this. Not that I'm specficially keeping it from him, it just hasn't seemed like a good time to bring it up.

Weekend

My Friday spanking wasn't so bad. J felt that I had done really well all week so he kinda took it easy on me. I was spanked with his hand and with a wooden paddle, but not for very long. I was led to the corner afterwards and was there for about 5 minutes. I know I am supposed to think about my actions and my discipline and the positive benefits it is having, when I am in the corner. I have a hard time doing that, though. My mind tends to wander to other things.

We had a mostly uneventful weekend. We did have some fantastic sex, we have both been feeling supercharged lately in that department.

I got a few swats today (Sunday) for putting myself down. J hates when I do that so he spanked me for it. It wasn't a lot of swats but they were quick and sharp and they stung!

Earlier this evening he was looking for a school uniform skirt for me to wear. Not a school girl costume, necessarily, he was more interested in something like a skirt from an actual school uniform store. He likes the idea of me being more easily accessible to him, both for play and any necessary discipline.

He told me he wants me to meet him at the door when he gets home from work tomorrow wearing only my robe, collar, and leash. I'm not sure exactly what he has in mind. We have a busy evening planned tomorrow, so I don't know what we'll have time for.

Hairbrush

Tonight J made up for the spanking I didn't get on Wednesday. He had me wearing my collar earlier in the evening. He mostly likes the way it looks on me. About a half hour before my spanking, he had me take off my clothes. I was answering some emails, which he said I could finish first, but I had to do it while nude.

After he had me over his lap, he realized he forgot to get out the paddle, so he used his hand and my hairbrush (which was within reach). The hairbrush is light, but it still stings! J does not like me to clench my butt cheeks when he is spanking me, but it's sometimes hard not to. I get an extra hard swat everytime I clench. Another thing I do is raise my legs and feet up. It's not a conscious movement, it's just in reaction to the spanking. J gives my thighs a quick stinging slap when I do this. I'm learning quickly to control my legs!

Tomorrow is back to my regularly scheduled spanking.

Short One

J got home really late tonight, so I did not get my wednesday spanking. He didn't get home until after 9pm and there was not enough time.

He did have me stand in the corner with my pants down and my shirt pulled up while he got ready for bed. While I was standing there he asked me if I like having more structure. I definitely do.

He apologized for not having the time to spank me tonight but told me I would get spanked tomorrow to make up for it. I am a bit bummed about that because that means I will be spanked 2 days in a row. I wanted to just skip it, but J says that is not an option.

Essay

My essay was due on Monday by the time J got home from work. Here is the essay I wrote:

There are at least three benefits of having and abiding by a bedtime. I am better rested, have less headaches, and am not as cranky when I get a good amount of sleep. If I do not get enough sleep I do not feel well, plus I get spanked.

When I go to bed when I am supposed to, I feel better rested the next day. My bones and muscles do not ache as much and I am not as tired all day long. There is a definite physical difference that I can feel when I get a good night's sleep.

Going to bed on time also improves my mood and keeps me from being too cranky during the day. I am less likely to be grumpy or use an improper tone with someone when I have gotten 8-9 hours of sleep.

Another benefit is that I do not get as many headaches or migraines when I am well rested. This also helps in me being less cranky because I am not in any pain. My whole being feels much better when I am not suffering from a headache.

By going to bed on time I get the benefits of being well rested, being in a better mood, and getting less frequent headaches. Plus, I don't get spanked or punished.

J thought I did a good job with the essay. This week starts our M-W-F spankings. I am glad not to be getting them every day, but J has told me that he won't hesitate to go back to daily spankings if needed.

J told me to go into the bedroom and take my clothes off to prepare for my Monday spanking. When he came in, he got the wooden paddle he likes to use, which I hate. My spanking was not very severe, but it did hurt! Afterwards J led me to the corner and told me to think about what I needed to do to maintain the life I want. That includes doing my chores (I can't stand a dirty house, but I am lazy and don't clean it as much as I wish I did), staying motivated, and being submissive to J.

We haven't had a lot of time to work on the submissive part, because I had my period all last week. But now he is planning on incorporating a lot more submissive stuff into our "plan", which I have agreed to. When we first met, I was completely sex-crazed. We had great sex, all the time. As I'm getting older I'm a lot lazier about it. I miss those days, and I know J does too. Having great sex often is not only lots of fun, but it's good exercise too! I am not supposed to refuse any of J's advances at any time (unless I'm ill, of course). I'm looking forward to this rule.

Setting the clocks back

We had a great time with our friends this weekend and now it is back to the grind. I was sad about setting the clocks back last night, I don't like that it gets dark so early.

Thursday night I ended up getting to bed 3 minutes late. I asked J to let it go, it was only 3 minutes. He said he would not. I am glad he's being strict. I was secretly hoping he would not let me off the hook.

J told me later that my punishment for coming to bed late. I am to write a short essay detailing 3 benefits of having and abiding by a bedtime. J's never had me write an essay before. I'm not sure how I feel about that just yet. It is due on Monday by the time he gets home from work.

I was originally thinking I would write one brief paragraph, but J has since informed me that an essay has an intro, a paragraph for each of the 3 benefits, and a conclusion. I don't know how long it will take me, so I am going to do that first thing tomorrow to get it out of the way.

My butt finally stopped being sore early on Saturday. J will certainly be changing that tomorrow. My regular spankings will be Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week. We are going to try that for a few weeks to see if it's enough to keep me motivated. Then we can revisit the frequency and adjust as needed.

Catching Up

I wrote a few of these posts previously, on my laptop, which did not have Internet access for a few days. I am just uploading them now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday I woke up to find my butt is still very sore. We have found, in our previous experiences, that when my butt stays sore for more than a day, it helps as a reminder to me whenever I am feeling lazy or unmotivated.

I got all of my errands and "chores" (for lack of a better word) done today in record time. I had enough time for some pampering - just some little things I like to do that I often don’t have time for, or put off. I moisturized all of my skin today - all over my whole body. I used my favorite lotion and felt so silky smooth afterwards. Not to mention I smell great! Why don't I do this everyday? Oh, that's right, I lean toward the lazy side. Hopefully that will be changing and I'll have time to pamper myself more often.

An unintentional benefit I've noticed is that I've been hanging out with and cuddling with J a lot more this week. Normally when we're watching TV, I have the laptop sitting in front of me and am busy answering emails or reading newsgroups. Now that my days are a bit more structured, I'm finding all this extra time. So my newsgroups are read and emails are answered by the time J gets home from work, which leaves plenty of extra time for hanging out with the man I love.

My spanking tonight was just awful. The hand spanking wasn't so bad, but when J switched over to the paddle it really hurt. My butt was still sore from the previous 3 days of spanking. I kept thinking about what a great week it had been. And I knew this would be the last spanking until Monday. J decided that next week we will cut it down to 3 times a week spankings. Monday, Wednesday and Friday. One of the mistakes I think we made before is we only had weekly spankings and that was just not enough for me. I think 3 times a week will be a good amount. But if it turns out it doesn't work, we'll adjust it accordingly.

I have an earlier bedtime tonight because I have to get up early tomorrow. We have friends coming to stay with us for the weekend and they are arriving in the morning.

Ouch!

Wednesday was a rude awakening on my ass.

I got everything done I needed to do with plenty of time to spare. I even had some extra time to read, which was nice. And our house was clean and staying tidy. I haven't been so motivated in a long time. It felt good. I even had time after dinner to visit a friend for a couple of hours. I put my friends off sometimes because I'm always falling behind on things I need to do and am always trying to play catch-up.

My spanking tonight was a little bit later because J had a meeting run late at work. When I saw him get the paddle I was a little bit nervous. I haven't been spanked with a paddle in months. It was a hard spanking. Both with his hand and the paddle. I didn't cry though. I never do, which is odd, because I cry so easily at other things in my life.

We have lots of toys and spanking implements. I like erotic spankings too, so we have toys that I like to be spanked with and some that aren't so much fun. The one J used today is a large round wooden paddle.

He also gave me a bedtime tonight. I have a lot of trouble sleeping and when I don't get enough sleep I get bad headaches. When I go to bed at the same time and wake up near the same time, consistently I get very few headaches and feel better overall. I've been staying up way too late lately, so J gave me a bedtime.

I always think to myself how strange it seems that I need a bedtime. I am a fully functional, independent adult woman. But for now I will follow the bedtime rule. The worst thing that can happen is it won't work and my sleep will still suffer. Or it might help and keep me on a schedule. That would be wonderful.

My butt is still so very sore, I am rethinking my willingness to have a daily spanking this week. But it's only one more day. We are having friends stay with us this weekend and they are arriving Friday morning. I do not get spanked when other people are around for obvious reasons. I often wish we had friends who were open to our lifestyle, or even just friends who liked spanking for the kink side of it!

The Second Day

Monday night we discussed my earlier spanking. I felt encouraged by it and J did too. He told me I was going to be spanked daily for the week. He was fairly gentle on Monday because my butt had not been spanked for so long.

I can't say I was looking forward to being spanked again on Tuesday, but I did feel glad it was going to happen. I felt glad J seemed to be really taking control this time. With very little input from me.

(For anyone who doesn't know, I can veto anything at any time if I do not feel right about it. J and I are in an amazing and very trusting relationship and have been together for many years. We know each other well and love each other deeply. There is something about my chemical make up that craves structure and discipline in my life. I work better that way and am always so much happier. But it takes work and time and sometimes J and I don't have either.)

I got so many things done on Tuesday. I cleaned the living room, dusted the whole house, changed the filter in the shower, did the dishes, planned dinner, and a few other little tasks that needed to be done. I also got a workout in. And I still had spare time. I don't know how that happened - I'm usually scrambling for time to get things done and I have barely been doing anything for the past several weeks. I have a problem with laziness. J and I decided that I have to have certain things completed before I can turn on my computer. That has really been helping.

Tuesday's spanking ended up being semi-mild and was only a hand spanking. J then led me to the corner where I stood for what seemed to be 15 minutes. Afterwards I knelt in front of him and thanked him for spanking me. I really do appreciate that he takes the time and effort to help give me structure. I might not have mentioned this before, but I asked for this. I brought it up the first time we talked about it and most of the times since. This is the first time that J has taken the lead.

We check in with each other every day to make sure we both still want this and that everything is still feeling right.

It feels very right.

Jumping right in

My husband, J and I have tried unsuccessfully to create our version of a domestic discipline/LDD/CDD/whatever-you-want-to-call-it lifestyle. We've taken parts we like from different "schools of thought", and have found things we really like. But for some reason, we never stick with it.

This time it feels different, more real. I didn't try to tell him what to do this time, I let him take the reigns. We're not trying to lay out rules and charts and schedules this time. We're just going to take it day by day and see where it takes us. It feels more natural than ever before this time.

We started on Monday. J informed me I would be spanked at 6:15 that evening. The reason for this spanking was to get me back into the swing of things. I had gotten quite lazy lately. I love a clean house, but when I get lazy I don't clean much. I hate this about me. J is trying to help me with that. When I get regular spankings, I am much more motivated to get things clean. Later I get to reap the benefits of a nice clean house, and I am so happy I cleaned it.

These regular spankings also help me remember there are consequences for my actions. There is a certain way I talk to people sometimes that J hates. I hate it too, but I rarely notice I'm even doing it. When I do it, J will spank me or discipline me in another way. I find that I use that negative tone less and less. The regular spankings help me remember I am held accountable for my actions and the way I conduct myself. It is a feeling I love.

I realize this lifestyle is not for everyone, but it is definitely for me.

I have been thinking about starting a blog for awhile. I think it will be a good way for me to express myself, and writing is something I enjoy.