After 2 weeks of no spankings

Due to the holidays I went about 2 weeks with no spankings. The first one after the break was on Monday. My ass is so sensitive after not being spanked for that long! It's like virgin skin. Because of the spankings on Monday (and again on Wednesday), plus the cold, dry air, I'm getting terrible dry skin. I hate that! J has been putting lots of lotion on my butt, I hope it helps.

Both spankings this week were pretty straightforward. We are struggling a bit to get back into a routine, plus we've both been busier than normal. J has been really great about making it work.

We had our very bestest friends over during Christmas. We don't get to see them often, because they live far away, so we were happy to get to spend some time with them. J and I have discussed telling them about our version of DD. I'd love to be able to share it with someone we are close to. But at the same time, I'm afraid they wouldn't understand. I always find it interesting when I read about people who have families that all participate in DD and similar things. I sometimes wish I had that kind of family. Or at least some friends that shared in our activities.

My New Year's Resolution is to do a better job of keeping up with this blog and post more pictures!

Happy New Year!

Holidays

I haven't had much time to post, lately. We've had houseguests and I've been baking and shopping, getting ready for Christmas. That's not likely to change between now and the new year.

Just wanted to say Happy Holidays to everyone here from Cassady and Jack!

Does anyone feel tired after being spanked?

I've been noticing that sometimes after J has spanked me I feel so sleepy. Does this happen to anyone else? I don't know if it's something hormonal or if it's emotional, or maybe a little of both.

Wednesday was what we've been calling maintenance plus. That's a spanking, plus a pussy spanking.

Since I again forgot to show J my to do list when he got home from work, he immediately gave me two intense swats with the strappy thing. (The one I posted a picture of a few days ago.) OUCH!

He then proceeded to spank me, alternating between his hand, the strap, and the trade show ruler. We discussed my motivation and how I wasn't as motivated last week. He reminded me that I should be thinking about the consequences even on my off days.

J told me to flip over for the plus portion of Wednesday's maintenance. He started off with a bare minimum of warm up swats with his hand. It's a pretty intense experience for me. J is normally such a softie, but when he is taking the lead he is so...strong...and controlled. I love to hear him using his commanding voice. When he says, "Who's pussy is this?" And I reply, "It's yours." It just does something to me. I love giving myself to him.

I started thinking about how I'm feeling a combination of love, warmth, being taken care of, being able to give myself so completely to J, I feel his strength, but I'm also feeling pain. During all of this he's still spanking my pussy with his hand and the smooth ruler. He isn't gentle. He uses one hand to spread me open and the other to spank the very sensitive inside part of my lips. J also uses the ruler on my nipples. He is a fan of the short, sharp swats. The ones that sting!

Whatever it is we're doing with our version of DD, it seems to be working. We're definitely not perfect, but we both feel this way is a positive thing in our lives. So we'll stick with it for now.

Thanksgiving and getting back into the routine

Our DD activities kind of fell apart last week with the holidays; having houseguests and later being houseguests. We had a great time celebrating with friends and family, though.

As I was making up my weekly to do list on Sunday, J told me to make sure I had our 3 appointments on there. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. With the Wednesday one including a pussy spanking. I didn't get that last week and even though I don't like it, I still missed it.

It's incredible to me how much being held accountable does for me. This past week I barely got the things done I needed to do. It was a real struggle for me. It was almost like I knew there would be no consequences, so I didn't make the effort. It's just so much easier to be lazy and focus my attention elsewhere.

We were watching The Biggest Loser on our DVR over the weekend, and I found myself wondering: If those people had consequences like spanking, would they be more inclined to exercise/eat right? I'd like to see Bob and Jillian with a paddle!

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Here is some more from the article of unknown origin that I have been commenting on. (AG = Article Guy)

Another thing the AG talks about is Grounding. This is one of those areas that I am conflicted about. When I honestly think about it, there are times when I spend too much time on the computer, and shirk my responsibilities. That seems like an offense ideal for grounding.

But would I get angry and resent J for grounding me? Or would I ignore the grounding? I'm not really sure as I've never actually been grounded, for real. AG restricts his wife from TV, Internet, phone, and leaving the house when she is grounded. The length of time depends on her offense. Anywhere from several hours to several days. I can't even imagine being restricted from doing something I want to do for several days.

AG says grounding is very effective on his wife, and that he doesn't have to do it often. If J decides I need to be grounded at some point, I will be sure to blog about how I dealt with it.

No warm up

(This blog post was from last Monday, I just forgot to post it!)

J started right in with that awful strap tonight. No warm up or anything! Partly it was because Mondays are the start of a new week and I hadn't been spanked all weekend. The other part was because I forgot to show him my to-do list when he got home from work.

He says if I don't show it to him, how does he know it's completed? He will just assume it is not, if I don't show it to him.

So I got a few extra (and hard!) swats with the strap while J was lecturing me.

It was almost unbearable. I was sort of in and out of sub space. When he said "Last 10, count out loud," I didn't think I was going to be able to do it. It's the closest I've ever come to crying from a spanking.

I will definitely remember to show him my list tomorrow!

Wednesday's Implements

I thought I would try posting a picture of the implements J used today. I've never put a picture on a blog before, I hope it works!

The top one, in this picture, I call the strappy thing. It's leather and heavy. The strap is about 3"-4" wide. It feels stingy and thudy at the same time. It definitely gets my attention!

The one at the bottom of the picture used to be a ruler that J sanded down very smooth. He also rounded the edges and put a layer of finish on it. It's a nice pretty piece of solid wood when I'm not being spanked with it!

J used the ruler on my pussy tonight. Last week we started pussy maintenance, which J decided we would do on Wednesdays. This is in addition to my regular ass spankings, that I'm still getting three times a week.

Wednesdays are a little strange for me. After my ass gets spanked it feels like it's going to over, but then I have to flip over to get the rest of the maintenance.

We've both been pretty pleased at how well it's working this time. I feel a little bit more motivated, my to-do lists have been finished every day, and J says I've been more submissive to him.

I'm trying to get started back into my gym routine this week. I hope I can stay motivated enough to keep going regularly.

Well, if I don't, I know what will happen!

My first pussy maintenance

I received my first pussy maintenance tonight. J decided we will do this once a week as part of our maintenance schedule.

He arranged me on his lap, between his legs, so that my head was resting on his thigh and my legs were at an angle, away from him. It made it so his hand cupped perfectly over my pussy when it made contact. He used a heavy wooden ruler for a lot of the spanking. During some of it, he stretched my pussy tight, slightly parted my lips, and spanked my very sensitive areas.

It was different to be able to see J's face when he was spanking me. Usually I am face down. It was exciting to see him really embracing his role.

It was a bit startling how much the spanking stung. I have never had J spank my pussy like he means it before. Usually it was just for play. It lasted a long time and he made sure not to miss any spots.

He also reminded me that I gave him permission to use my pussy when he wants to, and that this spanking was a reminder of what will happen if I deny him. It was kind of thrilling to hear him talk to me like that, but at the same time my pussy was aching from the sting. I do believe this will be effective for me. After this spanking, I cannot imagine what a punishment would be like, and I really don't want to find out.

Does anyone else do this?

Just so no one worries - we do have a safe word I can use if I am ever not comfortable in a situation. But J and I are very in tune with each other and I doubt I will ever need to use it. Also, just to be clear, I asked for us to do our version of DD.

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Since I just received my first pussy maintenance I thought this next post from AG would be appropriate.

AG writes that on the rare occasion that his wife denies him sex, she gets a pussy whipping later in the evening. He stresses that this happens EVERY TIME. Without fail. He never lets her get away with it. He reiterates that several times. He says consistency is important in all aspects of DD, and that's the only thing that will really make it work.

AG says he most often uses a leather whip, a belt, his hand, or a combination. He says he is careful to cover her whole pussy, all sides and edges, and even makes his wife spread her lips for some slaps to her clit. He says that you must be careful to lightly slap when her clit is exposed to avoid doing any permanent damage (good to know).

He says it's very effective and that it's rare he ever has to whip his wife's pussy. He mentions that immediately after her refusal, they have sex anyway, and that she gets her punishment later in the evening.

I really like that he has sex right away and then waits until later for the pussy spanking. I think that would be more effective. I'm going to mention this to J. For one thing, I'd rather take care of J when he is super horny, than later when he may have calmed down. Also, the anticipation would make the punishment all that more effective.

Monday's Maintenance

J brought out one of the big wooden paddles today, which immediately sent my belly into flip flops. I hate those wooden paddles.

He warmed up my ass with his hand and then switched to the paddle. J said he wanted to make sure that it was still effective and since I was more "in practice" now with spankings, I should be able to handle a harder paddling. I guess I handled it ok.

After the spanking and time in the corner, we talked about the effectiveness of the maintenance. J and I both agree it is working to keep me motivated. My to do lists have been completed every day and that makes me very happy, which makes J very happy.

He mentioned that if I can stay motivated, submissive, and can complete my list over the weekend, we may switch to twice weekly maintenance in the next week or so. My ass says YES! But I have a little bit of fear that if I don't get that reminder I might slack off. We will see how it all works out.

I've been reading a lot of other spanking/discipline blogs and I sometimes find myself nodding in agreement with the thoughts or comments of the poster. I am seeing bits of myself in many of them. I see a lot of people trying to practice some form of DD who have the same struggles with consistency that we have had in the past. I wonder if we are alike in other ways. I wonder how much like me the poster is in real life.

At the same time, I'm also finding a lot of spanking blogs that are fiction or professional models. That makes me feel very much alone. Like I am the only person who is like this in real life.

I guess it doesn't matter as long as it makes me happy and it works for my relationship dynamic with J.

Relaxing Sunday

J woke me up on Sunday with a full head-to-toe massage. He paid attention to each part of my body, and did a very thorough job. It lasted over an hour. It was glorious.

He then made me a nice breakfast, which we ate while catching up on our DVR'd shows from the previous week. We spent the next few hours just lounging around and cuddling on the couch. The rest of the day was just as relaxing.

Before we went to bed J smothered my ass with lotion, so it doesn't get dry or rough.

I am so spoiled and taken care of.

I love my life!

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I wanted to continue with the article of unknown origin that I have been summarizing and commenting on. (AG = Article Guy)

In the next section of his article AG says he spanks his wife daily. That's definitely not necessary for J and I. The 3 times a week schedule we have now seems to be working very well, and after awhile we will likely go to twice weekly, and maybe even down to once weekly. Every day seems extreme to me, but if that's what works for AG and his wife, then by all means they should continue with that.

I'd be interested in hearing what maintenance schedule works for other people.

A new kind of maintenance

For my Friday maintenance J decided to use a leather strap and a wooden ruler, in addition to his hand. Throughout the spanking he asked me to tell him what I wanted to accomplish and repeated to me that the three times a week maintenance has really been helping me. In fact I got my whole to do list finished every day this week. I was spanked a little bit harder and a bit longer today. J says it is to make sure I can remember it all weekend, since I won't be spanked again until Monday (unless I earn a punishment or something).

I do love that I feel a bit more motivated to get things done, but I've got to say my butt is sore! Three times a week is definitely a solid reminder of what I need to get done. The soreness doesn't really have time to go away, so I am being reminded every time I sit or move around in a way that brushes my undies against my ass.

Today is a perfect example of how it seems to be working for me. There was an item on my to do list that I was not particularly looking forward to. My first thought was that I will just put it off until tomorrow. The longer I sat here with my to do list staring at me, the more I felt that I really should get that thing done. One because I really didn't want to be spanked again on my already sore bottom. Also, I knew that J would be disappointed if I didn't complete my whole list today, especially after receiving 3 maintenance spankings. So I did it and now I feel happy that my list is completed!

We discussed something new tonight and that is pussy maintenance. We agreed a long time ago that I would never turn J down for sex, unless I am unwell or injured. The only reason I ever turn him down is pure laziness. I get to where I just "don't feel like it". When I do it anyway, I always end up enjoying it and having a great time. It ALWAYS feels good. So we decided that I would no longer be allowed to deny his advances. If/when I do J is supposed to spank my pussy as punishment. Then, sometime later in the day we would have sex. J likes to leave time in between punishment and sex so that the two don't get confused. He says the sex is not part of the punishment.

So, we were discussing how my three times weekly maintenance has been helping with my motivation; giving me the reminder I need of what the consequences will be for not completing my list. J said why not the same with pussy maintenance? It will be a reminder of what happens if I deny his advances. We haven't yet worked out a schedule, J might incorporate it into my already scheduled Mon/Wed/Fri maintenance spankings.

This afternoon, J instructed me into the bedroom. He laid me on my back and whipped my pussy with a riding crop, his hand, and a ruler. He didn't use much force, I think he was just trying to get the feel of how he's going to do this. He also whipped my breasts with the crop. It stung a bit, but he kept it fairly light. He spanked my pussy with varying levels of intensity, at first I found myself getting turned on. But once the intensity increased, I could feel the horniness fading away, and the seriousness of the punishment took its place. It wasn't really a punishment; it was more of a practice for what's to come.

At one point I started to whine a little bit, so J got the cock gag we have and placed it in my mouth. It's short, but very wide. My jaw instantly ached from it. I used to be able to hold that thing in my mouth for awhile, now it because painful after just a few minutes. I am WAY out of practice.

I think the pussy maintenance is promising and necessary to our fantastic sex life. When we first met, I was jumping J's bones constantly. Now I just feel lazy so often that I don't want to bother. I can't wait for that to change.

Hints of Submission

I remembered to show my list to J tonight when he got home from work. Normally something like that is no big deal, but as I was laying my list on his chair, I noticed I felt a little bit proud. Like I was doing something that I knew pleased J. It was just that little bit of submissive feeling coming through.

I used to feel hints of submission like that a lot more often. I think I will again as time goes on, if we can keep up with our version of DD.

Immediately after that I realized I am not due any spanking today. My initial emotional response was a slight bit of disappointment. Then I remembered how much my ass still hurt from the previous 2 days and my disappointment melted into relief.

I think it wasn't the spanking I wanted, as much as wanting to feel the way I feel before/during/after a spanking. It's a hard feeling to explain. I think it's partially knowing that when I get things accomplished and do what J wants me to do, I am the perfect wife. And I like that. It makes me happy. Also, during those moments it feel like my sole purpose is to please J and to serve him. And that his sole purpose is to love me and take care of me. Most of the time I like the way those things make me feel.

I'm sure once I am being spanked tomorrow during maintenance, I will be feeling differently. ha. ha.

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A few posts ago I mentioned a file I saved on my computer of an article or blog of unknown origin. I did a few searches on Google, but couldn't find the source. So I am just going to summarize and add my own thoughts about what he wrote.

The Article Guy (AG) starts out by saying discipline is like exercise. You can't just get to your goal weight and then stop. You have to maintain exercise and healthy diet or you will gain your weight back. It's the same with discipline. You have to keep up with it and be consistent, if you want it to be effective.

I absolutely believe this.

J and I have stopped and started our version of DD several times. When we don't keep up with it, it all falls apart (the discipline, not the relationship).

We have a fantastic relationship with or without our version of DD. But we find that with it, we are both more motivated, seem to have more energy, and have a lot more great sex! The only downside I can ever find with it is the time commitment it takes to be consistent.

We don't have anymore house guests planned until around the holidays. I'm hoping that is enough time to strengthen our routine enough to handle the interruption and be able to jump right back into it after the holidays.

I'll post more from the article in one of the next posts.

G'night all.

Two Days in a Row

I had forgotten what it is like to get spanked 2 days in a row. Ouch! J wasn't too hard on me tonight, but I had so much trouble not squirming and kicking up my legs. It hurt so much! I'm glad our regular maintenance will be every other day, and not multiple days in a row.

Earlier today when I was looking at my to do list, I kept thinking about being spanked and how much more it would hurt to have a punishment spanking than just a maintenance one. My list was definitely finished yesterday and is close to being finished today. I will have it completed before I go to bed. I did forget to show J my finished list when he got home from work today, but he let me slide on that, since we are still getting back into things.

It's definitely feeling like fall here, slowly turning into winter. Since it is so chilly tonight J let me put my pants back on, after I was released from the corner.

We likely won't have any play time tonight. J has an early business meeting to go to in the morning, so he'll be going to bed early.

No maintenance is scheduled for tomorrow and since my to do list will be finished, I likely won't be spanked again until Friday.

Back to routine

Our friends left late on Monday, so the maintenance J was promising me all weekend didn't happen at the previously scheduled time. Normally he would just leave it cancelled, which is what I expected would happen this time. Instead he told me it would be rescheduled for Tuesday.

I was wondering if J would forget about the rescheduled spanking, but he didn't. Tonight after work he made sure to take care of my maintenance spanking. I have another one schedule for tomorrow (Wed) and another one for Friday. We've never done 3 a week for multiple weeks before. I'm not sure how that frequency will work for us, yet, as we keep getting interrupted.

J wants me to start posting pictures and short video clips on the blog. I am pretty nervous about that. I am self conscious about my body for one thing, as I'm sure most women are. Also, it's going to be my red ass out there for the whole world to see.

J practiced tonight with different angles of the camera. This made for a spanking with more breaks than normal, to allow for camera adjustments, but I didn't mind. After my spanking, I was told to stand in the corner to think about what I needed to accomplish this week and what would happen if I didn't. I think I was only in the corner for about 3 minutes.

I haven't been permitted to wear pants since I was spanked tonight. So far the longest I've been denied any bottoms is 18 hours. Tonight it's only been 8 hours, so not too bad. I am allowed to wear pants after I get out of bed tomorrow morning. Since it is chilly tonight, J let me wear a robe, untied to keep warm.

We were talking earlier tonight about our good friends that were here this weekend. I sometimes wonder if they would have some interest in our version of DD. I would like it if they did. I always wish for someone to share this with.

A day between house guests

My brother left tonight. He and some of his friends are going to live in some little college town for awhile. We have one day to ourselves before our friends arrive on Friday.

Since I don't have much to update I thought I would do a book review of sorts of a book I just finished.

The Compleat Spanker by Lady Green

The Compleat Spanker is a very thin book, and a quick read that might be useful to a true beginner to spanking. The focus is mainly on erotic spankings. Lady Green discusses various common spanking implements, talks about why people spank, safety issues, and gives etiquette advice for spanking parties. I read the first couple chapters and then skimmed through the rest. I was hoping for something more in depth than a basic intro to spanking.

Quick Discipline

My brother went out tonight for several hours, which gave J and I some alone time. We were laying on the bed, catching up from our day. J mentioned my list and that he hadn't checked it because my brother was here, but that this break in our version of DD would end as soon as we did not have house guests.

Without another word, J reached over and slapped my left boob. Then my right. Back and forth a few times.

He spread my legs with his hands and started spanking my pussy. I kept closing my legs, so he took that trade show ruler and put it between my legs, sideways, so that I could not close my legs. He stung my pussy with his slaps, then told me to roll over on my stomach. I got a hand and ruler spanking.

When it was over J made me stay in the bedroom for a few more minutes. He was not comfortable with me in the corner, because it's in the hallway, and Brother could be home at any minute.

He usually only spanks my pussy when i deny his sexual advances, which wasn't the case tonight. I think he was just showing a bit of his domination over me. And I liked it.

J said it was important I got some discipline, even if it was abbreviated. He does not want me to forget what we are doing.

I don't know how people practice any sort of DD with kids around. Having my adult brother interfered with our privacy enough. I can't imagine someone being completely dependent on me being in the house.

Visitors

I finally have a chance to update. Our house guest is out with some friends, so I figured I'd get some blogging in while I have the chance. I do love my brother, but he sometimes acts like he's still in college (he's in his late 30's), and it seems like it falls on me to take care of him.

So last week I was wondering if J read the blog. Well it turns out he hadn't.

On Friday he came into the kitchen when I was making dinner and said, "I just read your blog." He also said, "I didn't know you updated it recently." He told me he checks every once in awhile, but hadn't looked in about 2 weeks, until that night. So I guess we were just feeling the same urges.

He's on board with trying our version of DD again.

J told me I am going to have maintanence spankings 3 times a week at least for a couple of weeks. He agrees that I need some training.

However, right away we hit a road block, because my brother is staying here. We don't have any real privacy with him here. He is supposed to be gone by this weekend, but we have friends who are coming to stay with us for a long weekend. This was planned long before I knew my brother was coming. And it's friends we don't get to see often, so I don't want to cancel.

So we can't really do anything until after Halloween. I'm hoping we can get started again and don't stall out like we have often done.

Brother is still here...

...and everytime I come into the office to check my email (or blog), he says, "Oh yeah, good idea, " and follows me with his laptop. So he's always over my shoulder.

I will update more when I can.

Spanked again??

Tonight around 4:45 I got a text from J asking me if I had finished my list from yesterday. There were a few things I didn't get to, so I replied and told him "not all of it". His text back to me had the following words "Be in the bedroom with your pants off when I get home." Yikes.

I just got spanked yesterday and J has scheduled another maintenance for tomorrow. I wasn't really planning on being spanked today, too!

When he got home I was waiting in the bedroom. I usually greet him at the door, so I felt awkward waiting for him alone in another room. He came into the bedroom, kissed me, and then guided me onto the bed, face down.

He said everyday after work he wants to see my list, and if anything is not completed, we will deal with it immediately. He also mentioned that if it's a maintenance day, I will be spanked twice.

After my lecture, he used his hand and that stupid ruler thing from the trade show to spank me. I thought the spanking was hard and thorough, but J later said it was neither.

After I was spanked, J told me to stand in the corner. That is probably my least favorite thing. I get bored just standing there. Today he put my list in front of my face and had me hold it there while I was in the corner. My mind still drifted.

J seems to be stepping back into his role, and I am trying to step back into mine. I am back and forth with wanting to be spanked and not. Is that common with any of you?

I really like being held accountable. I am sometimes worried that it puts too much pressure on J, though.

We had some fantastic sex tonight, which is always a nice side effect of our version of DD.

Tomorrow is another maintenance day. But the good news is, my to do list is finished for today!

Maybe he is reading the blog...

I'm thinking maybe J is reading the blog and just not mentioning it. Either that or we are just feeling the same way right now.

We had our 6pm appointment, which, as I suspected included me getting spanked. Right at 6, he told me to go into our bedroom. He came in a few seconds later and told me to strip from the waist down.

Once he had me face down on the bed, he alternated spanking me with his hand and with this ruler thing we got for free at a recent Trade show. It's made of thin wood and it's very light, which makes it sting-y.

I wasn't spanked for very long, J noticed outloud that my butt was "out of practice". During the spanking J said he thinks things are better around our house when I have regular maintenance. So we are going back to that. I don't know what our regular schedule will be, but this week we're doing it on Thursday.

J said he hopes one of these times we start our version of DD it will stick. It's much better when I'm motivated.

I didn't say this to him, because I sometimes feel like I'm trying to control things from the "bottom" and I don't want to do that, but I feel like I need some training. I am out of practice and half of me wants to fight this. But the other half of me likes things better when I am not so lazy. I love having my To Do list done every day with time to spare for fun. I just can't seem to accomplish that on my own, with no real consequences if I don't get things done.

I think after awhile J will be able to be lenient again because I will be more interested in getting things done, I'll be "better trained". I am afraid that I need J to be strict beyond his comfort level. I'm also afraid that he will focus too much on the submission part (especially sexually) because that's the part he likes best. But I really need the discipline, too. I think.

The thing I think I need is also the thing that makes me the most nervous. Are you other spankos that way too?

After my spanking and lecture, J had me stand in the corner. I had my shirt on the whole time, with only my jeans and underwear off, and he had me remain that way. I was supposed to think about everything J said about starting back up with maintenance, receiving discipline, and resuming my submissive role once again.

I was only in the corner for about 5 minutes, and my mind kept drifting most of that time. So I didn't really get to focus on what J wanted me to. I guess that's sort of what I'm doing now.

After the corner, I was sitting in a chair, across from J, still naked from the waist down. He spread my legs open with his legs and held them open. I felt so completely exposed. He didn't do anything, just looked at me.

He eventually let me put my underwear back on, but I am still pantsless.

My brother is coming to stay with us, for I don't know how long. He says 1 night, but that could mean 2 weeks. So I don't know if that's going to kill this attempt at our version of DD before it even starts. We will see.

Hints

I've been hinting around to J that I need to be spanked. I think he must have gotten it because he gave me a few swats last night before he went to bed, due to my whining & scowling. He also told me that we will have an "appointment" tonight at 6. That usually means I am going to get a spanking. He mentioned that my attitude hasn't been great lately.

I showed J my to do list last night, which is something I haven't done in awhile. He didn't request it, I just asked him if he wanted to see it. He did and he told me to make sure everything on it is done before I come to bed. There was one item on there that he mentioned should have been completed before he got home from work. But then he added that since I had a busy day, he would let that one slide.

I sometimes wish he wouldn't do that. On the one hand I like that he's lenient, because then when I really don't feel like doing something I can pretty much get out of it. But on the other hand I feel like it's not really effective that way. I sometimes think I need J to be strict and not let me get away with anything. But he's so busy with work, that might put too much pressure on him. I'm just going to wait and see how it plays out.

I found a file I had saved on my computer that reflects how I feel things should be, most of the time (I waver back and forth). I don't want to post it because I don't know the source and I don't want to violate anyone's copyright. If I can't find the source in the next few days, I will try to summarize it in my own words.

We're still here!

Hello friends.

We are still alive! J and I spent the summer traveling, and spanking & discipline have been on the back burner. I haven't really missed it, mostly because we've been so busy spending time with friends. I haven't had much real responsibility, so there were rare times where a spanking would have even been necessary.

We've been home for a few weeks now and the past couple of days I have been starting to feel like I need to be spanked. I have gotten very lax in my day to day chores. It's like I am still on vacation. We have been ordering out a lot, because I can't even get motivated enough to make dinner some days. I feel like these are things I should be spanked for, even though I dread the thought of how it would feel.

I keep thinking about it and in some ways I am craving J to start up my spankings again. But I start to feel like it will only work if he is super strict to start out and not let me get away with anything. But then I think about it more and I feel like I would get angry by J being that strict with me. I think I lose some of the benefit when he's lenient, but it's much less scary for me.

He did spank me today with a very light ruler. It was just a few swats and was more playful than serious. Because my ass is like virgin again, it really hurt and I immediately felt like I didn't want any spankings at all. So it's a toss up.

I'm sort of hoping J will just make the decision and do whatever he thinks needs to be done.

Surprise Spanking

J and I have gotten far away from spanking and discipline. Nothing is amiss in our relationship; it's a combination of being busy and being too tired.

But tonight J came up behind me in the bedroom and gently guided me over his knee. He pulled down my pants and underwear and gave me a quick and fairly mild hand spanking.

My butt was especially stingy afterwards; I haven't been spanked in a long time and all the sensitivity had returned.

Neither of us really said anything afterwards. J is definitely missing the discipline. I'm not so sure I am.

Playful

The nice weather has J and I feeling frisky.  I've been playfully spanked in an erotic sort of way a few times recently, but have had no maintenence or punishment spankings.  

I've been pretty good about finishing my lists every day, but J and I haven't been reviewing them at night.  I'm ok with it for now.  I imagine at some point I'll be asking to be spanked again.

That's all for now. 

Thanks for reading.

Been a long time

J and I have had a lot of recent issues that have kept us from our maintenence schedule.  Some have been health related, some family related, and some laziness related

Things have settled down, but J and I are having some trouble getting back into a regular schedule.

I'm still completing my to do lists everyday, and coming to bed on time.  But there have been no spakings for several weeks.  I have been resistent to starting again, which has happened in the past.

I'm not really sure what to do, and neither is J.  He doesn't want to push.  And I don't want to resent the lifestyle.

So for now we're just not doing anything.

I'll keep you posted.

Back on track?

J and I didn't have much trouble getting back into the swing of things on Monday. Or I should say J didn't have much trouble. I haven't been overly resistant or anything, but I'm just not feelin it this week. I haven't really been thinking about the spankings and when J tells me it's time, I just don't feel like doing it.

Monday's spanking was not so bad; J wanted to ease back into things. But it still hurt a lot. My butt hadn't been spanked in something like 2 weeks. Wednesday's spanking was a lot harder and I was still sore on Thursday. I was also sent to the corner before the spanking, which J hadn't done for awhile. I hate standing there. I feel so restless.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a substitute spanker for when J can't do it. I wonder if it would help keep me from falling back into pure laziness when J is not around. But unfortunately none of our friends or family would be able to fill that role.

We're alive!

We're both feeling better. Thanks for all the comments and emails.

After we were sick for a week, J went on a business trip and was gone for another week. It's been really hard to get back into the swing of things. There has been no spanking and the rules have been lax since J's been home. I've even been staying up WAY past my bedtime!

He told me tonight that next week we will be starting back up with spankings 3 times a week, and bedtime and other rules will be back in effect. Yikes!

One good thing is that I've been keeping up with my chores, even without the spankings. Yay me!

Update

J and I have been sick for the past week, so all activities have been put on hold.  We are just starting to feel better, but J is about to leave on a business trip.  I'm hoping when all is back to "normal" we can get back to the regular spankings.

In the meantime, I'll work on getting healthy again.

Anticipation

Sometimes, when I'm sitting here, waiting for a spanking, I can feel the anticipation building. I know that I am going to be spanked when J gets home from work. He will be home in less than an hour. I know I won't be able to talk my way out of it or somehow otherwise distract J from his task.

Depending on my mood, I sometimes feel turned on by the anticipation. Other times I feel irritated and grumpy. And other times I feel thankful and well taken care of. Overall, this spanking schedule we've been keeping has had a positive affect on us. So no matter what kind of mood I'm in, I submit to the spanking.

...LATER...

So I'm writing this part after having just been spanked. J tells me I'm doing great with my errands/chores. I've been making a daily to do list and have completed it every day. I'm also doing well with not using that tone that J hates. I've been coming to bed on time each night, too. But the one thing I haven't been so great with is being submissive (both sexually and not). J really wants to work on that this week.

It's not that I'm completely unsubmissive, I just have had a low sex drive and have been a bit on the grumpy side lately. Part of it is laziness and part of it is letting myself get back out of shape again. I always feel crappy when I don't exercise regularly. So that's the other thing J brought up tonight. He wants me to start going back to the gym. And he decided that he'll go with me to get himself in better shape, too. He says if I don't go, he won't go either, (although if I don't go, I'll get spanked!).

J is in the garage right now putting a final stain on the ruler. My punishment for not being submissive is a spanking on my pussy with the ruler. It's a heavy wooden ruler that J sanded and stained, so it will look nice and not leave any splinters or anything. We haven't actually used it yet, though it's come up in conversation a bunch of times over the past couple of weeks.

I'm a little nervous about the ruler. I've never been spanked on my pussy other than for play. I've never had an actual frontal punishment. I know it is supposed to hurt, and that's what makes me nervous. I think I'm going to be seeing a lot of this ruler in the near future.

If this posting (and my other postings) seems choppy, it's because sometimes I write things throughout the day, as I think of them. I wait to post them until I have some time to type them all out into the blog.

Thanks for reading!

Starting a new week (and a new year!)

Friday's spanking was pretty intense. I guess I've been a bit grumpy lately and J hates that. He used the middle sized round paddle and he spanked me hard. Friday spankings are usually a bit more intense because I usually go the whole weekend without any scheduled spankings and J wants to make sure I don't forget it by the end of the weekend.

On Saturday we met some friends for brunch. These are some of J's friends that I don't really like to be around. Last time we got together with them, J spanked me before we left, just as a reminder to behave. I half expected him to do the same this time, but he didn't. I managed to behave myself anyway. It wasn't so bad, because it was only brunch, which was pretty quick. It wasn't like when we get together for dinner and it lasts hours and hours.

Well, we're just about ready to start a new week. I'm going to try to get myself in a better mood so I don't get into trouble! I need to find some motivation, too, so I can make sure to get all of my tasks/chores/errands completed on time.