Strap

We were once again limited on time tonight (Wednesday), but J definitely did not want to skip a spanking. So while we were getting dressed to go out, J said, "Bend over the bed, we're going to take care of this now."

He used an implement that is referred to as the "punishment" strap. It is a leather strap with a wooden handle. It's very heavy and it hurts! He spanked me with that for just a few minutes and reminded me of the reasons we are doing this. I'm glad it didn't last long, I can't take much with that strap.

When we were finished, J said I should think about what that strap feels like, because if he needs to punish me, he'll most likely be using that strap. Yikes!

That's something

I totally forgot about Monday's spanking. I was involved in 2 projects that consumed all of my thoughts and I just wasn't even thinking about spankings. So when J said, "Hey Cass, go into the bedroom, take off your clothes and wait for me," it came as a complete surprise. But only for a second.

J has a totally different voice he uses when he's about to discipline me. It's very authoritative and I know he means it. He is otherwise very softspoken and gentle. It's only when he's in punishment/discipline/etc. mode that he sounds so stern.

I was spanked a lot harder tonight. I was squirming all over the place, I could barely take it. J says my butt is getting more used to being spanked often and he doesn't want me to build up a tolerance. Also, he wants to make sure I change modes from relaxing weekend to back to the grind work-week. I think it worked. Ouch!

I think J has found a good balance between knowing when to be really strict and when to not push things. The pace we are going has really been working well for both of us.

I'm not 100% motivated all the time, but I do get all of my daily chores and errands completed every day, so that's something.

Something's working

So last week we missed one of my spanking days. J made sure to spank me a little bit harder and a little bit longer on Friday to make up for it. He used that long rectangular wooden paddle. Right at the end he made me count the last 10 outloud. They hurt the most. He also wanted to make sure I remember the spanking all weekend.

J said he can definitely tell a difference in my motivation from just skipping one spanking day. He told me on Friday that we will continue with the 3 days a week spankings through at least next week.

Something funny happened this weekend. I was having lunch with a friend and she made a comment that she noticed lately I had less of a bitchy tone in my voice. Not that it's something I have all the time, but if you are around me enough, you'll eventually hear it. She said she noticed it less in recent weeks. I chuckled to myself and just told her I had been working on that.

J was pleased when I told him what my friend said. I feel good about it too.

Brrrr.

Monday was really cold, so when I was getting my spanking, J used a blanket to cover me up so I wouldn't be too cold. The only thing uncovered was my butt! The blanket was huge and fell all around my head, I sort of felt like I was in a little tent. I could see out straight ahead, but not to either side.

J used the big wooden rectangular paddle for the spanking. It is one of the worst paddles we have. He explained that he was using it so that I would be aware of what a punishment spanking would be like. He didn't spank me as hard or as long as he would if it was a punishment spanking, but he wanted me to feel that paddle. Just as a reinforcement/reminder.

Later in the evening we had some fun. J had me lay on the edge of our bed, on my side, and he stood in front of me. I was able to finish what we had started earlier in the day. We also discovered, in this position, that he could use the tawse and gently whip me while I was sucking him.

I should have had a spanking tonight (Wednesday), but J had a work related emergency and though he was able to work from home, he was working well past 10pm. I'm sure we will make up for it soon.

Collar

J wanted me to wear my collar while I was doing my chores today. I don't usually have problems with the collar, but for some reason today, it rubbed a raw spot on my neck. I didn't have it on for very long either. I did the dishes, cleaned up the kitchen, dusted, and made a few phone calls. That was less than 2 hours.

J stopped home on his lunch break today to pick something up. While he was here, he commanded me to kneel in front of him, unzip his pants, and take him into my mouth. He didn't have time to finish, though, so we'll probably get to that later tonight.

I still haven't gotten back to the gym. It's been ages since I've been there. I've been feeling so lazy and blubbery lately, I must get back into the gym routine. Oh why can't I just sit around eating cupcakes all day?

I have my Monday spanking to "look forward to" tonight. Otherwise I think J and I are going to curl up on the couch and watch a movie.

Relaxing Weekend

Tonight J was playing with a crease in my pants. It was a little annoying so I grumbled at him. J did not appreciate that at all. He told me to take my pants off and that I had lost the privilege of wearing pants for the rest of the night.

So I am sitting here with no pants on while I write this blog.

J read the blog this weekend. He definitely approved of it, and he said he really enjoyed reading it.

I didn't have any chores to do this weekend, because I got them all completed during the week! So this weekend was nice and relaxing. Plus, I got a nice massage from J on Sunday.

I like the pace we are going. We're not trying everything at once, but I still feel like we aren't stuck in one place.

More Weekend Thoughts

The other day J noticed an old wooden ruler I have sitting on my desk. He commented that it would be a great implement for spanking my pussy. The only thing is that it has a rough edge. So he decided this weekend he will take it into the garage and sand it down. I'm semi excited, semi nervous about it as a spanking implement, especially on my pussy. I'll let you know if he has to use it.

I'm always thinking about what it is J and I do. What it's called. There's not really a name that fits, we're just living our lives. I've been reading this other blog a lot called The Punishment
Book. One of the women posted something there that really hit home with me. She said, "maybe he realized that doing this for me wasn't about him being "head of household" or "dominant male" but taking care of someone he loves."

That really resonated with me. That is exactly how I feel about J and I. He's not really the HOH in the traditional sense of the word. He hasn't taken over, but he does help me do what's best
for me, and he takes care of me. It just so happens that I respond to having some discipline and routine in my life. And I trust him enough to handle it.

Thank you.

I find when it is one of my normal spanking days, I feel like I need to be spanked. I feel like if I went one more day before getting spanked, I would slack off on my daily chores and errands.
Anytime I think about slacking, I just remember my last spanking and it is definitely a deterrent.

We have a plethora of spanking implements but J has been really hooked on the round wooden paddle lately. That's what he used for tonight's spanking. He likes me to bend over his lap, as he sits on the bed. He starts with his hand to give me a nice warm up, then has me kneel up while he reminds me why we are doing this. He asks me if I like having more structure (yes), he asks me if I am enjoying the house being clean and my chores being done (yes), asks if I like having a bedtime (no), asks if I think getting spanked regularly is helping me have a better attitude (yes). He pushes me back over his lap and continues with the paddle. I like the break in between. Not just because it gives my butt a break, but because it helps me refocus on the spanking and the reasons for it.

I'm still having trouble remembering to thank him for spanking me. It's not that I'm not thankful, I just don't think about it. It's a simple matter of just saying thank you that J really likes. I wish I could remember to do it every time.

Journal

Most days, getting to bed on time is not a problem. But once in awhile I get involved in a project online and I don't want to stop. I am a "night owl", so I've always stayed up late.

Tonight's spanking was a bit more intense than they have been lately, because I whined about having a bedtime. J doesn't like whining at all.

I haven't gotten an actual punishment spanking yet. I haven't felt the need to brat at all, because I'm getting spanked regularly. And they hurt enough that I don't want any extra spankings.

J was at a business meeting today and someone gave him a notepad for taking notes. As he was showing it to me, he joked that he was going to give it to me so I could keep a journal. Maybe that's a sign I should tell him about the blog. I think I will this weekend when he'll have time to read it.

Spare Time.

Getting my "chores" and errands completed before I turn the computer on has been great! I get everything finished quickly and I even seem to end up with some spare time every day.

I need to get back into an exercise routine. I have gotten lazy with that and my muscles feel like they are turning into mush. That's the next thing I really need to work on.

When J came home from work tonight I greeted him in just a robe, my collar, and leash. He told me I looked hot. He led me to the bedroom and I knelt in front of him. I performed oral sex on him for a few minutes and then we had great sex. He used the leash to pull me into different positions.

My Monday spanking came a few hours later and was average in intensity, with the wooden paddle. I will still feel it tomorrow, but it isn't uncomfortable to sit. J says we will continue with 3 times a week this week and next week and then will see if we can take it down to 2 weeks. He told me tonight that he's pleased with the way things have been going. I am too.

I haven't told J I'm writing this blog yet. At first I wanted to wait until I had a few posts up here so he'd actually have something to read. But then I thought that I don't want him to be swayed in any way by something I've said. This is the first time he's taken the sole lead role in this and it's going really well.

So now I'm not sure when I will tell him about this. Not that I'm specficially keeping it from him, it just hasn't seemed like a good time to bring it up.

Weekend

My Friday spanking wasn't so bad. J felt that I had done really well all week so he kinda took it easy on me. I was spanked with his hand and with a wooden paddle, but not for very long. I was led to the corner afterwards and was there for about 5 minutes. I know I am supposed to think about my actions and my discipline and the positive benefits it is having, when I am in the corner. I have a hard time doing that, though. My mind tends to wander to other things.

We had a mostly uneventful weekend. We did have some fantastic sex, we have both been feeling supercharged lately in that department.

I got a few swats today (Sunday) for putting myself down. J hates when I do that so he spanked me for it. It wasn't a lot of swats but they were quick and sharp and they stung!

Earlier this evening he was looking for a school uniform skirt for me to wear. Not a school girl costume, necessarily, he was more interested in something like a skirt from an actual school uniform store. He likes the idea of me being more easily accessible to him, both for play and any necessary discipline.

He told me he wants me to meet him at the door when he gets home from work tomorrow wearing only my robe, collar, and leash. I'm not sure exactly what he has in mind. We have a busy evening planned tomorrow, so I don't know what we'll have time for.

Hairbrush

Tonight J made up for the spanking I didn't get on Wednesday. He had me wearing my collar earlier in the evening. He mostly likes the way it looks on me. About a half hour before my spanking, he had me take off my clothes. I was answering some emails, which he said I could finish first, but I had to do it while nude.

After he had me over his lap, he realized he forgot to get out the paddle, so he used his hand and my hairbrush (which was within reach). The hairbrush is light, but it still stings! J does not like me to clench my butt cheeks when he is spanking me, but it's sometimes hard not to. I get an extra hard swat everytime I clench. Another thing I do is raise my legs and feet up. It's not a conscious movement, it's just in reaction to the spanking. J gives my thighs a quick stinging slap when I do this. I'm learning quickly to control my legs!

Tomorrow is back to my regularly scheduled spanking.

Short One

J got home really late tonight, so I did not get my wednesday spanking. He didn't get home until after 9pm and there was not enough time.

He did have me stand in the corner with my pants down and my shirt pulled up while he got ready for bed. While I was standing there he asked me if I like having more structure. I definitely do.

He apologized for not having the time to spank me tonight but told me I would get spanked tomorrow to make up for it. I am a bit bummed about that because that means I will be spanked 2 days in a row. I wanted to just skip it, but J says that is not an option.

Essay

My essay was due on Monday by the time J got home from work. Here is the essay I wrote:

There are at least three benefits of having and abiding by a bedtime. I am better rested, have less headaches, and am not as cranky when I get a good amount of sleep. If I do not get enough sleep I do not feel well, plus I get spanked.

When I go to bed when I am supposed to, I feel better rested the next day. My bones and muscles do not ache as much and I am not as tired all day long. There is a definite physical difference that I can feel when I get a good night's sleep.

Going to bed on time also improves my mood and keeps me from being too cranky during the day. I am less likely to be grumpy or use an improper tone with someone when I have gotten 8-9 hours of sleep.

Another benefit is that I do not get as many headaches or migraines when I am well rested. This also helps in me being less cranky because I am not in any pain. My whole being feels much better when I am not suffering from a headache.

By going to bed on time I get the benefits of being well rested, being in a better mood, and getting less frequent headaches. Plus, I don't get spanked or punished.

J thought I did a good job with the essay. This week starts our M-W-F spankings. I am glad not to be getting them every day, but J has told me that he won't hesitate to go back to daily spankings if needed.

J told me to go into the bedroom and take my clothes off to prepare for my Monday spanking. When he came in, he got the wooden paddle he likes to use, which I hate. My spanking was not very severe, but it did hurt! Afterwards J led me to the corner and told me to think about what I needed to do to maintain the life I want. That includes doing my chores (I can't stand a dirty house, but I am lazy and don't clean it as much as I wish I did), staying motivated, and being submissive to J.

We haven't had a lot of time to work on the submissive part, because I had my period all last week. But now he is planning on incorporating a lot more submissive stuff into our "plan", which I have agreed to. When we first met, I was completely sex-crazed. We had great sex, all the time. As I'm getting older I'm a lot lazier about it. I miss those days, and I know J does too. Having great sex often is not only lots of fun, but it's good exercise too! I am not supposed to refuse any of J's advances at any time (unless I'm ill, of course). I'm looking forward to this rule.

Setting the clocks back

We had a great time with our friends this weekend and now it is back to the grind. I was sad about setting the clocks back last night, I don't like that it gets dark so early.

Thursday night I ended up getting to bed 3 minutes late. I asked J to let it go, it was only 3 minutes. He said he would not. I am glad he's being strict. I was secretly hoping he would not let me off the hook.

J told me later that my punishment for coming to bed late. I am to write a short essay detailing 3 benefits of having and abiding by a bedtime. J's never had me write an essay before. I'm not sure how I feel about that just yet. It is due on Monday by the time he gets home from work.

I was originally thinking I would write one brief paragraph, but J has since informed me that an essay has an intro, a paragraph for each of the 3 benefits, and a conclusion. I don't know how long it will take me, so I am going to do that first thing tomorrow to get it out of the way.

My butt finally stopped being sore early on Saturday. J will certainly be changing that tomorrow. My regular spankings will be Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week. We are going to try that for a few weeks to see if it's enough to keep me motivated. Then we can revisit the frequency and adjust as needed.