Wearing the Collar

This was a text between J and I today.

me: Do you have an outfit preference for tonight?
J: same as yesterday but with your collar.
me:  ok
J:  In fact, your collar should go on as soon as you wake up.

Well that's new.  

This week has been full of new things for J and I. I've been meaning to blog about it, but have been so wrapped up in J.  

He has been commanding and dominant and strict, and I have been making an effort to try to go with it and step out of my comfort zone from time to time. It's been fun and exciting and scary and uncomfortable all at the same time. I always go through many emotions when fantasy becomes reality.

I have been dressing (or undressing) for J and greeting him when he gets home from work.  The anticipation of him getting home and the process of getting ready to present myself to him in a way he will love, has been energizing.  I have been wearing a collar when in J's presence, but I guess tomorrow that will be changing to all day.  I have to find out what he will say about taking off the collar to go out.

I have worn the collar once, in public, so far.  It was on a trip to the grocery store, with J, and I had a scarf on.  I'm pretty sure no one saw it, but it was nerve wracking.  It was also kind of thrilling at the same time.  I have no idea how I would explain it if I ran into someone I knew and they saw it.  

Birthday Spanking Week (Part 4)

(Read Part 1 Here)

(Read Part 2 Here)

(Read Part 3 Here)

Wednesday I was woken up with kisses and flowers. They smelled so sweet and filled the whole room. While I was still laying in bed, J gave me a nice, sensual full body massage, which turned into some fantastic sex. What a wonderful way to wake up on my birthday!

We had a small breakfast and took showers, and afterwards J reached over to me and started to put on my collar & leash. He hesitated and said, "We don't have to do this if you don't want to. If you want to spend your birthday some other way."

I gave him a quick kiss and told him I was all his.

He led me out to the deck and told me to kneel. I did and he fucked my face for just a few minutes. He then led me off the deck onto the grass and had me crawl around the yard on all fours, with him pulling on the leash. We don't often do things like that, but it was exciting being outside. It's very private and no one can see us, but it still feels exhibition-like. A few times he swatted my ass, as I was crawling and I was afraid the sound would carry. But it wasn't likely anyone would be able to tell where exactly it was coming from.

We spent a lot of time outside since the weather was perfectly warm and breezy. One thing J likes to do is open my pussy lips very wide and just hold them there. It makes me feel very exposed. Every time he did that, I could feel the breeze on my clit. It was just enough so I could feel it, but too light of a sensation to do any good. It was making me want to reach down and apply the right amount of pressure so that I could cum. But when I suggested this to J, he said no.

A few hours later, we went back in the house and J said I was going to finish what was started outside. He layed on the couch and I knelt next to him. He grabbed the leash and pulled me down to him. He reached around to the back of my head and guided me right to his cock. I hesitated and he said "Open."

I opened my mouth and he easily slid in. It didn't take very long for him to cum, since he'd been on the verge for hours.

He told me we had just enough time for one more spanking, before we had to leave. He arranged me over the ottoman and gave me a nice long warm up with his hand. He then alternated between a small wooden paddle and our leather strap. He spanked me for a very long time. It felt like an hour. Since my legs were spread wide, he also had access to my pussy, and he made sure to swat there a few times with his hand, in between swats to my ass with the paddle & strap. J said he wanted to ensure I would be ready to start back to our old schedule next week.

After my spanking, J said he would like to see me make myself cum. I flipped over on the ottoman, and started rubbing my clit. J watched me for a few minutes, and then gave me a quick swat with his hand. "Cum," he commanded. I can never cum on cue, but J likes to make me try. And once he thinks it's time, he spanks my pussy, without stopping, until I do cum. My pussy was getting sore like he spanked it for hours, but I think it only took about 4 minutes!

J let me lay on the ottoman for awhile to recover while he loaded the car. Before we left, I got dressed in regular clothes, which felt really strange. J took my collar and leash off, but he said I was going to be wearing the cock gag the whole way home. I gave him an alarmed look, but he assured me that it would be dark, and no one would be able to see me. He wasn't going to buckle the strap in the back, and if we came to any well lit areas, I could remove it. Same for toll booths or if we got pulled over.

I was sad about going back home, but at the same time glad to know that next week I would be back on track and getting things accomplished. And I had such a fun birthday week, both with our friends, and after they left!

Birthday Spanking Week (Part 3)

(Read Part 1 Here)

(Read Part 2 Here)

Part 3

Tuesday started out much like Monday with breakfast, then me on my knees in the shower, followed by air drying on the deck.

After being naked for a couple of days it starts to become less noticeable to me. I become a little more comfortable, though it makes going anywhere impossible. J came out to the deck with my collar and leash. Once they were on, he led me back into the house, and directly over his knee. He gave me a good warm up hand spanking. The whole time reminding me of what I agreed to, and what tasks I was supposed to be accomplishing every day. I felt him reach down next to him and the next thing I felt was one of his paddles on my ass. I haven't felt that in a long time and I had forgotten how much it hurts! J didn't spank hard, but he spanked long. I didn't think it was ever going to end.

Once J was done spanking my ass, he immediately led me into the guest bedroom, layed me over some pillows on the bed, face up and began spanking my pussy with his hand. "Who's pussy is this?" he asked me. "Yours," I responded meekly. J held my lips open with one hand and slapped my clit with his other. That really hurts! But at the same time I've been constantly just on the verge of cumming.

J told me to cross my legs at my ankles. I did and he grabbed them and lifted my legs up and started spanking me in the "diaper position". I think he's only ever done that once before, so it was unexpected. Each slap was just grazing the small part of my pussy that peeks through my closed legs. He then let go of my legs, but told me to hold them up. I heard the rattle of his belt. There is something about that sound that terrifies me and turns me on at the same time. J knows this so he makes sure to do it slowly and make sure I hear every bit of the sounds it makes. I could hear him undoing the buckle and pulling it through the loops. I was nervous. It's so rare that J uses the belt on me and I'm out of practice and I'm already sore. I wasn't sure if I could do this. J grabbed ahold of my legs again and I felt the first thwack of the belt. I yelped. One more thwack and J said that was enough of that for now.

Getting spanked is exhausting. I don't know why but so often I feel tired after getting a good spanking, and this was no exception. J told me to take a nap, which I happily did.

I was woken up an hour later by J licking my pussy. I was still laying on the edge of the bed, and I guess it was too much for him to resist. He fucked me with his tongue until I was fully satisfied. I almost felt like I needed another nap after that, but J had other plans. He told me he wanted to train my mouth to make sure my jaw would get used to being opened a lot, so I was always ready for him. As he was telling me this, he was inserting my cock gag and attaching the buckle behind my head. The cock gag isn't huge, but it does make my mouth feel like it's being stretched. He told me I'd be wearing that for most of the rest of the day.

We were both getting hungry, so J decided we'd have a quick bite on the deck. First we went into the kitchen and he had me bend over the table and spread my legs wide so he could see me while he was making the sandwiches. I was feeling vulnerable and sexy at the same time. He took the sandwiches and my leash and led me out onto the deck. I took the gag out only long enough to eat the sandwich and have a glass of water, then it was placed right back in my mouth.

We didn't do much of anything else for the rest of the afternoon, just watched TV and read some, though I did have the gag in the whole time.

We decided to have pizza for dinner, but we had to go pick it up. J had me put my wrap around skirt on as a dress, so I tied it under my arms and just let it hang. It barely covered my ass, but thankfully I didn't have to get out of the car. He also handed me my cock pacifier and told me he didn't want me to be without a cock in my mouth for that long. On the ride there, J pushed the skirt open at the slit so the whole front of me was exposed. He told me to spread my legs, and keep them spread. The pacifier just looks like a regular pacifier on the end that's not in my mouth, but still I am obviously a grown woman, so it still doesn't look normal! I tried to sink low in the seat and just hope no one noticed. I was allowed to cover myself up when we got to the parking lot, but I still had to keep the pacifier in. I know people saw.

After dinner J suggested we go to the beach. There's a private beach near the house that we can walk to. I like seeing the moon reflecting on the ocean at night, so of course I agreed. J again told me to wear my wrap around skirt as a dress, nothing underneath. And again he put the pacifier in my mouth. When we got to the beach we set our chairs near the water line. J arranged my skirt so that my whole front was exposed. The moon wasn't very bright so I don't think anyone would have been able to see me unless they got close, and by then we'd have seen them. We sat there for hours enjoying the night and each other.

(...to be continued)

I'll post Part 4 soon. It's the last day of our vacation and of my birthday spanking adventure. I can't wait to finish it, so I can tell you what's been happening THIS week.

Birthday Spanking Week (Part 2)

(Read Part 1 Here)

J said I was allowed to get dressed to go to dinner, but he was deciding what I would wear. He picked out a wrap around skirt and a tank top. Nothing underneath. Sandals on my feet. We walked to a small family owned Italian place just down the street.

While we were waiting for our food, J took my hand and simply said, "Next Monday."

"What's next Monday?"

"We start your reminder spankings again. You go back to being held accountable. We go back to our way."

"Oh," was all I could say.

J asked me if I did not want to (which is always an option I have).

"It's not that," I explained, "I'm just so out of practice, it makes me nervous."

J reassured me, as he always does, that he would never push me too hard, too fast. He knows my limits and he knows ME.

And then with a chuckle, he said, "Besides, after the next couple of days you won't be so out of practice."

Gulp!

I always wonder if anyone ever overhears us when we're discussing spankings in public. We are aware of who's around us and we speak in low voices, but you never know who is eavesdropping. I can only imagine what they would be thinking if the overheard the conversation we just had. Reminder spankings??? What??? lol.

On the way back to the house, J had me turn my skirt so that the slit was in front. You couldn't really see much, but if you were looking closely when I took a step, the slit opened just enough so that I was totally exposed for half a second. J kept walking backwards, in front of me, so that he could watch. It made my face turn red, but also made me giggle.

The second J opened the door, he said "Clothes." And I stripped once again.

I watched as J retrieved the bag from the living room. He pulled out my collar and fastened it around my neck. He then attached the leash. He started reminding me of many of the things we used to do, games we played, S/M stuff, D/s stuff, DD stuff. As he was telling me, he was leading me around the house. I was dripping wet.

When we got to the end of the hall, he led me into the master bedroom with the big 4 poster bed. I saw the straps attached to each post. J laid me spread eagle on the bed and put my wrists and ankles in the straps. He grabbed a leather slapper that I hadn't noticed, from the dresser, and started gently slapping my pussy. He gradually increased the speed and intensity until I was squirming against the restraints. Then he abruptly stopped. I asked him if I could please cum. He said no.

He uncuffed me and led me back to the living room, straight into a corner. He told me I needed to think about the events of the past day and the things we discussed. He wanted to make sure I was ready to start again, since we've only been half-assing it for the past several months. My mind always wanders when I'm standing in the corner. I have a hard time focusing when I'm just standing there doing nothing. But this time I was able to concentrate and I did think about everything we talked about and did. It's nothing new, we were just out of practice. We both already know we like it that way, so what was there to think about?

After 15 minutes in the corner, J called me to him. We talked for hours for the rest of the evening about everything and as usual we're on the same page.

(to be continued...)

Collar

J wanted me to wear my collar while I was doing my chores today. I don't usually have problems with the collar, but for some reason today, it rubbed a raw spot on my neck. I didn't have it on for very long either. I did the dishes, cleaned up the kitchen, dusted, and made a few phone calls. That was less than 2 hours.

J stopped home on his lunch break today to pick something up. While he was here, he commanded me to kneel in front of him, unzip his pants, and take him into my mouth. He didn't have time to finish, though, so we'll probably get to that later tonight.

I still haven't gotten back to the gym. It's been ages since I've been there. I've been feeling so lazy and blubbery lately, I must get back into the gym routine. Oh why can't I just sit around eating cupcakes all day?

I have my Monday spanking to "look forward to" tonight. Otherwise I think J and I are going to curl up on the couch and watch a movie.

Spare Time.

Getting my "chores" and errands completed before I turn the computer on has been great! I get everything finished quickly and I even seem to end up with some spare time every day.

I need to get back into an exercise routine. I have gotten lazy with that and my muscles feel like they are turning into mush. That's the next thing I really need to work on.

When J came home from work tonight I greeted him in just a robe, my collar, and leash. He told me I looked hot. He led me to the bedroom and I knelt in front of him. I performed oral sex on him for a few minutes and then we had great sex. He used the leash to pull me into different positions.

My Monday spanking came a few hours later and was average in intensity, with the wooden paddle. I will still feel it tomorrow, but it isn't uncomfortable to sit. J says we will continue with 3 times a week this week and next week and then will see if we can take it down to 2 weeks. He told me tonight that he's pleased with the way things have been going. I am too.

I haven't told J I'm writing this blog yet. At first I wanted to wait until I had a few posts up here so he'd actually have something to read. But then I thought that I don't want him to be swayed in any way by something I've said. This is the first time he's taken the sole lead role in this and it's going really well.

So now I'm not sure when I will tell him about this. Not that I'm specficially keeping it from him, it just hasn't seemed like a good time to bring it up.

Weekend

My Friday spanking wasn't so bad. J felt that I had done really well all week so he kinda took it easy on me. I was spanked with his hand and with a wooden paddle, but not for very long. I was led to the corner afterwards and was there for about 5 minutes. I know I am supposed to think about my actions and my discipline and the positive benefits it is having, when I am in the corner. I have a hard time doing that, though. My mind tends to wander to other things.

We had a mostly uneventful weekend. We did have some fantastic sex, we have both been feeling supercharged lately in that department.

I got a few swats today (Sunday) for putting myself down. J hates when I do that so he spanked me for it. It wasn't a lot of swats but they were quick and sharp and they stung!

Earlier this evening he was looking for a school uniform skirt for me to wear. Not a school girl costume, necessarily, he was more interested in something like a skirt from an actual school uniform store. He likes the idea of me being more easily accessible to him, both for play and any necessary discipline.

He told me he wants me to meet him at the door when he gets home from work tomorrow wearing only my robe, collar, and leash. I'm not sure exactly what he has in mind. We have a busy evening planned tomorrow, so I don't know what we'll have time for.

Hairbrush

Tonight J made up for the spanking I didn't get on Wednesday. He had me wearing my collar earlier in the evening. He mostly likes the way it looks on me. About a half hour before my spanking, he had me take off my clothes. I was answering some emails, which he said I could finish first, but I had to do it while nude.

After he had me over his lap, he realized he forgot to get out the paddle, so he used his hand and my hairbrush (which was within reach). The hairbrush is light, but it still stings! J does not like me to clench my butt cheeks when he is spanking me, but it's sometimes hard not to. I get an extra hard swat everytime I clench. Another thing I do is raise my legs and feet up. It's not a conscious movement, it's just in reaction to the spanking. J gives my thighs a quick stinging slap when I do this. I'm learning quickly to control my legs!

Tomorrow is back to my regularly scheduled spanking.