Punished for Lack of Submission

We had another night alone, last night, since my brother spent the night out. J didn't waste any time telling me we needed to discuss something. Uh oh.

He led me into the bedroom and we sat down on the bed, facing each other. J said that he realizes with my brother being here I've had virtually no spanking, so he's been lenient. My motivation level is way down, which I'm getting a pass on right now, but my submission level is also down. Not that I'm being all disrespectful, but I have been consistently turning J down for sexual things. And that is a big no no...something we agreed on a long time ago. I mostly blame it on my brother being here, but we have had plenty of quiet sex with people in the house before, and I know it and J knows it. It's just an excuse and it's solely due to me being lazy and not "feeling like it".

As I've said in the past, even when I'm not in the mood, once we start anything sexual I get in the mood in real quick! Like 99.9% of the time. And I'm always glad we did it. That's one of the reasons J and I agreed that unless I was not feeling well or was in some way distressed, I would not refuse any of his sexual advances. And it's worked out great!

Except part of it working well is me getting reminder spankings multiple times a week and pussy spankings once a week. It helps me stay motivated in day to day life, and sexually with J. And we haven't been able to stay on our regular spanking schedule because my brother has been staying here.

Since we had a night alone, J told me I was going to get a pussy spanking. He said it was going to be a punishment, for lack of submission, but since I was so out of practice he would do it more like one of our reminder spankings. I almost cried right there! I haven't had a real spanking there in months! And I recently shaved, so I didn't even have any hair as a cushion!

I slowly undressed and got into position. There was no warmup and J swatted me with his hand a few quick sting-y times in a row. I could not hold still and was squirming all over the place. I thought J was going to have to get the spreader bar, but instead he propped my legs up in a way that I couldn't close them. I still had a hard time staying still. J spanked every inch of my pussy, he spread my lips and spanked the insides of them, and he spanked my clit. I could tell it was light but it sure didn't feel light!

The entire time J reminded me of our agreement. He reminded me that I gave him my pussy and told him he could have access to me whenever he wanted to. He asked me if I was still happy with our agreement. Yes! Of course!

J continued with the spanking.

Afterwards I was led to the corner, where I've only stood once or twice in the past several months. It felt strange. J told me to stand there and think about the conversation we just had and the reason I just got my pussy spanked.

The 15 minutes in the corner seemed like 2 hours. J finally called me back into the bedroom. He asked me how I felt. I sort of laughed and said "like I want to fuck your brains out!" J laughed too and we slid back onto the bed and I got to do just what I wanted!

Back to the spanking schedule

J feels that I've been motivated and progressing well toward my goals each day, so we are back to 3 reminder spankings a week. He spanked me extra hard on Monday, to be sure I'd be thinking about it until Wednesday. I have been gradually feeling more motivated. The more things I can accomplish, the more motivated I feel. I don't know why I need to be spanked, but when I don't have those consequences I slack off immediately!

We've also been working on my submission, which I've mentioned before. Often J is very lenient and gives me many chances to do what he says. It's pretty common that I will hem and haw and he will say "Do you want your pussy spanked?" And I will say no, and we will go back and forth like that until I eventually do as I'm told.

But over the weekend, I got a glimpse of a much more strict J. He asked me to show him my tits. I hesitated for a second and he very calmly grabbed my hand and let me into the bedroom. Without a word he laid me back on the bed, took off my pants and proceeded to spank my pussy with his hand. He switched over to the ruler and spanked for probably 5 straight minutes without stopping! He reminded me that I asked to be punished when I did not comply with what he was telling me to do. He asked me several times if I understood and agreed. Of course I did. The pussy spanking didn't last very long, but it was hard and fast. When he was done, he told me to come into the office. I was allowed to put my pants back on, but no shirt. J placed me on a stool next to his desk, in sort of a time-out for 10 minutes while we talked about our agreement. He had his hands on my tits during the whole lecture. I was not allowed a shirt until the next morning.

Back to our Spanking Routine, day 1

Promptly at 6pm, J instructed me to go to the bedroom and take off my clothes. He had already arranged many of our implements on the bed. He was clearly ready to start back up with our version of DD.

Once I was face down, J started with a brief lecture. He reminded me that I am to stay motivated to achieve my daily goals and complete my daily to do list. And if I do not, there will be consequences. He started spanking me gently, due to my not having been consistently spanked for several months. He continued the lecture saying that when he holds me accountable, he finds that he is more motivated and holds himself at a higher standard. So it is very important that we stay on track.

He also reminded me that whining will not be tolerated. If I whine, J will make sure to find something else for me to do with my mouth (with an option to also spank me).

J increased the speed and intensity of the spanking, and repeated the lecture a few more times. My ass was definitely sensitive and I was squirming and fussing. At one point J used his hand to spank me really quickly one right after the other on one cheek, and then the same on the other cheek. It made me feel a bit like a child; that's usually the way I imagine a parent spanking their kid. But I guess if I act like a child by whining, I should be treated like one.

Once J decided I had enough for the first day, he repeated the lecture and asked me if I understood (yes). I counted the last 10 swats out loud.

J then positioned me on my back, across his lap, where he had good access to my pussy. He went over my original agreement with him to never deny him sexually, unless I was ill or injured. Some people may think that might be extreme, but it really works for us. J is not demanding, and anytime I'm not in the mood, but I say yes anyway, it ends up being enjoyable and I'm glad I didn't turn him down.

He then proceeded to spank my pussy with his hand, a leather strap, and a wooden ruler he sanded down smooth, just for this purpose. He also spent some time playing with my clit. He would rub it for a few seconds and then spank it for a few seconds. It really hurts when he spanks my clit, but J always seems to know just how much I can take.

When my pussy was sufficiently pink, I was sent to the corner to think about the spankings I had just received and the reason for them.

After standing in the corner for about 10 minutes, J called me to him. He already had a pillow waiting for me (how nice!). He guided me down to my knees and placed his rock hard cock in my mouth. He also positioned a full length mirror next to us, because he wanted to watch. I tried to put on a good show for him.

I took a quick shower to rinse all the cum off of me and refresh myself. I get so tired after a spanking.

Punishment vs. Play spanking

I took today's topic from the Submissive Journal Prompt website:

http://www.submissiveguide.com/journalprompts/

How do you know the difference and respond to a punishment spanking and one received during play?

The difference is easy. J tells me when I have earned a punishment, but also he is firm and definitely serious. There is no mistake when he is playing and when he's not. When we're playing the mood is lighter and it's fun. Punishments are never fun.

My response varies in that I am more serious when I'm being punished; I know it's not a joke. And I am usually wishing I had not done the thing that has earned me a spanking.

I don't really get punished very often. The reminder spankings I get 3 times a week seem to keep me out of trouble most of the time. Although there are some days, like today, where I know that I am absolutely not going to get to one of the things on my to do list. I'm about 99% sure I'll be getting a punishment spanking tomorrow in addition to my reminder spanking (eek!).

Unfinished List

For the first time in a long time, I didn't finish my to do list. I knew I'd be getting a spanking when J got home from work. I was not looking forward to it. I feel like I've been spanked a lot this week. Plus I was already scheduled to receive a reminder/maintenance spanking tonight.

For my punishment, J used the big, long wooden paddle. The one I hate the most. He gave me 2 swats on each cheek (one for each item not completed on my to do list). I didn't exactly cry, but it did bring tears to my eyes. That paddle really hurts!

A few hours later, during my reminder spanking, J let me know that he won't hesitate to spank me every day if he thinks it will help me remember to get my list completed. I immediately said "No Way!" Three times a week is enough.

Once all of that was out of the way, we had a nice start to the weekend. We had a fun time running some errands, then we spent the rest of the night cuddling and watching movies. I felt very relaxed and loved.

Happy weekend!

Bedtime Blow Job

I was feeling a bit grumpy last night at bedtime when J wanted a blow job. I said I didn't feel like it and whined about it. J does not like whining. At all. He immediately rolled me over and spanked my pussy. He reminded me that I am not allowed to tell him no. He also reminded me that the punishment for whining is getting a dick in my mouth. J feels that if I am whining, he will give me something else to occupy my mouth with. Sometimes he uses the cock gag, most times he uses his own cock.

The pussy spanking was short, but very stingy. J made sure to spank most of my very sensitive areas. He was having a bit of trouble holding open my lips to spank my clit, because of the position we were in. For a second I thought he was going to ask me to hold them open, but thankfully he didn't. I'm not sure that I would be able to actually do that knowing how much it hurts.

When J was done spanking my pussy, he guided my head down to his cock and fucked my face until he was satisfied.

My whining was pointless. All it got me was a pussy spanking. Sometimes I just can't help myself.

Pussy Punishment

J and I had a very nice, relaxing weekend where we got to spend a lot of time just being together. There was one point where I was a bit of a brat and wouldn't expose my tits when J asked. He reminded me that was a no no and asked if I wanted my pussy spanked. Of course I said no.

Since he didn't spank me right then, I figured the incident had been forgotten about, but tonight after my regular reminder spanking, J told me to flip over onto my back. He reminded me that I was due a punishment spanking on my pussy for refusing him this weekend.

He whipped my pussy with a small strap, while lecturing me on whose pussy it is and how I agreed to submit to him. This was my first pussy punishment and I thought it would be a lot worse. When I get my ass spanked for punishment it's way worse than a reminder spanking. But the pussy punishment was not nearly as bad as the weekly reminders I get. Although at one point he spread my lips wide and was spanking directly on my clit. That hurt a lot.

J then started using his thumb to play with my clit during the spanking. He was doing both at the same time. I asked him why he was making me feel good, when it was supposed to hurt, but he said I shouldn't tell him how to play with his toy. He's right, so I didn't object further. Overall it felt more like a game than a serious spanking.

He didn't let me cum at that time, and the spanking didn't last very long. When it was over, we cuddled for a few minutes. It always feels so right being in his arms.

I'm quite happy with the way we've been progressing and keeping up with our version of DD. Every other time we've tried it, we ended up stopping and months would go by before we'd start again. J has been great about maintaining consistency and a level of strictness. He doesn't let me get away with much. For the most part I get my things done every day and don't get punished very often. And that definitely feels good.

Velcro Underwear

I was punished again today for not completing an item on my to do list. It's nearly always the same item - not practicing my guitar. I really do want to play the guitar, I just hate the practicing and learning part. I get so frustrated when I can do it perfectly right away. So I didn't do it yesterday and J spanked me for it. I got several really hard swats with the strap before he continued spanking me for my regular reminder spanking. At one point J pulled my ass cheek to one side and spanked the inner part. I can't recall if he's ever done that before. It stung!

I worked on an interesting project today. Awhile back I read somewhere that a man made his wife wear underwear with velcro on the inside anytime she received a spanking. Mostly it was for when she got spanked as a reminder right before they went out somewhere, she'd wear this special underwear so that anytime she moved, the rough part of the velcro rubbed on her already hurting ass. It was to serve as a constant reminder throughout the night.

Well I've never seen any velcro underwear for sale anywhere, so J asked me to make some. I took a pair of my own underwear and bought enough velcro to cover the back part AND the front part. This was also J's idea. That way when I am required to wear it, it will rub on my ass and my pussy. I just finished it today, so I haven't had a chance to wear it yet. I'm hoping I don't have to wear it for a long time, because it looks very uncomfortable. When I am eventually required to wear it, I'll be sure to blog about it.

Punished Again!

I don't know what it is with me, but anytime there is anything different in my schedule (like J gets home from work early, or I am not here when he gets home, etc.) I forget to show him my completed to do list.

I forgot again today and J had to ask me for it. After I showed him the list, he reminded me that I am to show him the list every day when he gets home from work. He led me into the bedroom, pulled my pants down, and had me lay on my stomach on the bed.

We recently got some new implements and J decided to use this new one today:



It's essentially just a belt sewn together at the end. J says it gives him a good amount of control when he swings it.

It feels just like any other belt and it stings. I felt more defiant today, and slightly irritated. It's sometimes hard to see what the big deal is. My list was all finished, so that should be that. But J's point is that he doesn't know it's done if he doesn't see it, with everything all checked off.

The spanking wasn't very long, but he lectured me the whole time. He finished up with a few really hard swats to my ass with his hand. Then it was over.

Tomorrow I will remember...

Forgotten List

I again forgot to show J my completed to-do list on Friday. I don't know why I keep forgetting. This is the 3rd time. I didn't remember until I was already bent over on the bed, with my pants off for my regular Friday reminder spanking.

J said, "Did you forget to do something today?"

At first I didn't know what he was talking about. And then it dawned on me!
I quietly said, "I didn't show you my list."

I got a short lecture and 4 really hard swats with the strap, in addition to my regular reminder spanking. During the lecture J told me he wanted me to journal about forgetting to show him my list, when I get spanked for it, why, and how I felt.

I don't know if he meant for me to do it on the blog or not, but that's where I'm doing it.

January 29th - Today I was spanked because I forgot to show J my to do list.
I felt shocked at first, I was in disbelief that I had forgotten anything. I've been really good at finishing my list. But once I realized I had forgotten to show J, I felt disappointed in myself. I had forgotten again. J asks me how will he know if I have completed my list or not unless I show it to him?

The spanking hurt and I may have yelped once or twice, but I didn't cry. I never do. J led me to the corner and told me to stand there and think about how I'm going to remember to show him my list every day. I'm still not sure exactly how I'm going to remember, but I hope I do!

Later in the evening I made the mistake of whining. J abhors whining. He always tells me he will find something else to put in my mouth. So after about 30 seconds of whining, I found myself on my knees with J's dick in my mouth. He's done this before and usually only has me suck him off for a few minutes, but last night he had me suck him until he came. In the past he has also made me wear a cock gag for whining. He really doesn't like to hear whining.

J has been on a toy buying spree the past week or so. He ordered a bunch of new stuff. The skirt is the only thing that has arrived so far. We are waiting on several slapper type paddles, and some other stuff. I'll post pictures as things arrive.

I'm not quite sure what he's up to with the new toys, but the theme seems to be "things to slap my pussy with". A lot of these new toys are things that will make me feel very submissive and that's something J has been paying a bit more attention to, lately. I feel like I might be headed for a bit of sub-type training in the near future. I am partially excited and partially terrified. I sometimes get very anxious if I feel that I'm not in control. But once I get past that, it's something that makes me feel good in the end.

Not having had my pussy spanked in so long; I am really feeling like something is missing. Not like there's some big flaw in our relationship or anything...more like the very deep level we connect on is just slightly less deep. It's due to some girlie issues I've been having that have prevented us from playing much and I think that's really what I'm missing. Hopefully I will be back to normal soon.

Does anyone feel tired after being spanked?

I've been noticing that sometimes after J has spanked me I feel so sleepy. Does this happen to anyone else? I don't know if it's something hormonal or if it's emotional, or maybe a little of both.

Wednesday was what we've been calling maintenance plus. That's a spanking, plus a pussy spanking.

Since I again forgot to show J my to do list when he got home from work, he immediately gave me two intense swats with the strappy thing. (The one I posted a picture of a few days ago.) OUCH!

He then proceeded to spank me, alternating between his hand, the strap, and the trade show ruler. We discussed my motivation and how I wasn't as motivated last week. He reminded me that I should be thinking about the consequences even on my off days.

J told me to flip over for the plus portion of Wednesday's maintenance. He started off with a bare minimum of warm up swats with his hand. It's a pretty intense experience for me. J is normally such a softie, but when he is taking the lead he is so...strong...and controlled. I love to hear him using his commanding voice. When he says, "Who's pussy is this?" And I reply, "It's yours." It just does something to me. I love giving myself to him.

I started thinking about how I'm feeling a combination of love, warmth, being taken care of, being able to give myself so completely to J, I feel his strength, but I'm also feeling pain. During all of this he's still spanking my pussy with his hand and the smooth ruler. He isn't gentle. He uses one hand to spread me open and the other to spank the very sensitive inside part of my lips. J also uses the ruler on my nipples. He is a fan of the short, sharp swats. The ones that sting!

Whatever it is we're doing with our version of DD, it seems to be working. We're definitely not perfect, but we both feel this way is a positive thing in our lives. So we'll stick with it for now.

No warm up

(This blog post was from last Monday, I just forgot to post it!)

J started right in with that awful strap tonight. No warm up or anything! Partly it was because Mondays are the start of a new week and I hadn't been spanked all weekend. The other part was because I forgot to show him my to-do list when he got home from work.

He says if I don't show it to him, how does he know it's completed? He will just assume it is not, if I don't show it to him.

So I got a few extra (and hard!) swats with the strap while J was lecturing me.

It was almost unbearable. I was sort of in and out of sub space. When he said "Last 10, count out loud," I didn't think I was going to be able to do it. It's the closest I've ever come to crying from a spanking.

I will definitely remember to show him my list tomorrow!

Setting the clocks back

We had a great time with our friends this weekend and now it is back to the grind. I was sad about setting the clocks back last night, I don't like that it gets dark so early.

Thursday night I ended up getting to bed 3 minutes late. I asked J to let it go, it was only 3 minutes. He said he would not. I am glad he's being strict. I was secretly hoping he would not let me off the hook.

J told me later that my punishment for coming to bed late. I am to write a short essay detailing 3 benefits of having and abiding by a bedtime. J's never had me write an essay before. I'm not sure how I feel about that just yet. It is due on Monday by the time he gets home from work.

I was originally thinking I would write one brief paragraph, but J has since informed me that an essay has an intro, a paragraph for each of the 3 benefits, and a conclusion. I don't know how long it will take me, so I am going to do that first thing tomorrow to get it out of the way.

My butt finally stopped being sore early on Saturday. J will certainly be changing that tomorrow. My regular spankings will be Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week. We are going to try that for a few weeks to see if it's enough to keep me motivated. Then we can revisit the frequency and adjust as needed.