Did you think I fell off the face of the earth?

Nope! I'm still here.

My injuries (foot/knee) are all healed! They have been for awhile, but then things got hectic with J's business, and then we were traveling over the holidays, then we had house guests....

We haven't been on our spanking schedule in months. Mostly due to our busy schedule, guests, etc. But also I just haven't been in the right mindset for it. I can tell J is anxious to get back into things, but I think I take longer to decompress and ease our way back into it.

A few times over the past weeks and months, J did spank me, but only for a few minutes at a time and never for any serious infraction. Mostly just play.

He has given me a bedtime again. I had been staying up way too late and then sleeping late and not getting enough done during the day. So I once again have a set time to be in bed. That just started again last week. I hate having to watch the clock, though.

I will try to blog more often, but for now I'll leave you with this picture...

Spanking week 2

J decided this week was going to be a repeat of last week, as far as spankings go. He says I'm doing great with getting my to-do list completed, but thinks I'm still not quite as motivated as I should be. And I agree. He also upped by bedtime, just by 15 minutes for now, to help me get moving a bit earlier in the day.

So I will be spanked every day this week, plus pussy spanked 3 times, and immediately after I will give J a blow job. He says after this week if I'm back to being as motivated as I need to be, we can resume our old schedule of 3 reminder spankings a week.

We are also working on my level of sexual submission to J. I want to get back to the point where my body is available to him whenever he wants it. I used to always be game for sex, but now I just feel old and fat. I find that when the choice is made for me, I can get past any grumpy feelings I might be having and get right to the fun parts.

Over the weekend, J presented me with a pacifier that has a penis as the rubber part that goes in your mouth. We don't get into the age play scene, but as part of my submission, J will sometimes treat me like a child.

Today he told me I was to place the pacifier in my mouth before I left the house and keep it there anytime I was in the car. Of course no one can see the penis part when it's in my mouth, but they can still see a grown woman with a pacifier in her mouth! And it's not easy to hide - it's got a big, baby blue, plastic ring. Here is a picture of it:

I drove with it all the way to the Post Office and back with it securely in my mouth, and it seems like I hit every red light and a lot of traffic.

I feel like everyone saw me.

I don't even know what they thought.

Anticipation

Sometimes, when I'm sitting here, waiting for a spanking, I can feel the anticipation building. I know that I am going to be spanked when J gets home from work. He will be home in less than an hour. I know I won't be able to talk my way out of it or somehow otherwise distract J from his task.

Depending on my mood, I sometimes feel turned on by the anticipation. Other times I feel irritated and grumpy. And other times I feel thankful and well taken care of. Overall, this spanking schedule we've been keeping has had a positive affect on us. So no matter what kind of mood I'm in, I submit to the spanking.

...LATER...

So I'm writing this part after having just been spanked. J tells me I'm doing great with my errands/chores. I've been making a daily to do list and have completed it every day. I'm also doing well with not using that tone that J hates. I've been coming to bed on time each night, too. But the one thing I haven't been so great with is being submissive (both sexually and not). J really wants to work on that this week.

It's not that I'm completely unsubmissive, I just have had a low sex drive and have been a bit on the grumpy side lately. Part of it is laziness and part of it is letting myself get back out of shape again. I always feel crappy when I don't exercise regularly. So that's the other thing J brought up tonight. He wants me to start going back to the gym. And he decided that he'll go with me to get himself in better shape, too. He says if I don't go, he won't go either, (although if I don't go, I'll get spanked!).

J is in the garage right now putting a final stain on the ruler. My punishment for not being submissive is a spanking on my pussy with the ruler. It's a heavy wooden ruler that J sanded and stained, so it will look nice and not leave any splinters or anything. We haven't actually used it yet, though it's come up in conversation a bunch of times over the past couple of weeks.

I'm a little nervous about the ruler. I've never been spanked on my pussy other than for play. I've never had an actual frontal punishment. I know it is supposed to hurt, and that's what makes me nervous. I think I'm going to be seeing a lot of this ruler in the near future.

If this posting (and my other postings) seems choppy, it's because sometimes I write things throughout the day, as I think of them. I wait to post them until I have some time to type them all out into the blog.

Thanks for reading!

Journal

Most days, getting to bed on time is not a problem. But once in awhile I get involved in a project online and I don't want to stop. I am a "night owl", so I've always stayed up late.

Tonight's spanking was a bit more intense than they have been lately, because I whined about having a bedtime. J doesn't like whining at all.

I haven't gotten an actual punishment spanking yet. I haven't felt the need to brat at all, because I'm getting spanked regularly. And they hurt enough that I don't want any extra spankings.

J was at a business meeting today and someone gave him a notepad for taking notes. As he was showing it to me, he joked that he was going to give it to me so I could keep a journal. Maybe that's a sign I should tell him about the blog. I think I will this weekend when he'll have time to read it.

Essay

My essay was due on Monday by the time J got home from work. Here is the essay I wrote:

There are at least three benefits of having and abiding by a bedtime. I am better rested, have less headaches, and am not as cranky when I get a good amount of sleep. If I do not get enough sleep I do not feel well, plus I get spanked.

When I go to bed when I am supposed to, I feel better rested the next day. My bones and muscles do not ache as much and I am not as tired all day long. There is a definite physical difference that I can feel when I get a good night's sleep.

Going to bed on time also improves my mood and keeps me from being too cranky during the day. I am less likely to be grumpy or use an improper tone with someone when I have gotten 8-9 hours of sleep.

Another benefit is that I do not get as many headaches or migraines when I am well rested. This also helps in me being less cranky because I am not in any pain. My whole being feels much better when I am not suffering from a headache.

By going to bed on time I get the benefits of being well rested, being in a better mood, and getting less frequent headaches. Plus, I don't get spanked or punished.

J thought I did a good job with the essay. This week starts our M-W-F spankings. I am glad not to be getting them every day, but J has told me that he won't hesitate to go back to daily spankings if needed.

J told me to go into the bedroom and take my clothes off to prepare for my Monday spanking. When he came in, he got the wooden paddle he likes to use, which I hate. My spanking was not very severe, but it did hurt! Afterwards J led me to the corner and told me to think about what I needed to do to maintain the life I want. That includes doing my chores (I can't stand a dirty house, but I am lazy and don't clean it as much as I wish I did), staying motivated, and being submissive to J.

We haven't had a lot of time to work on the submissive part, because I had my period all last week. But now he is planning on incorporating a lot more submissive stuff into our "plan", which I have agreed to. When we first met, I was completely sex-crazed. We had great sex, all the time. As I'm getting older I'm a lot lazier about it. I miss those days, and I know J does too. Having great sex often is not only lots of fun, but it's good exercise too! I am not supposed to refuse any of J's advances at any time (unless I'm ill, of course). I'm looking forward to this rule.

Setting the clocks back

We had a great time with our friends this weekend and now it is back to the grind. I was sad about setting the clocks back last night, I don't like that it gets dark so early.

Thursday night I ended up getting to bed 3 minutes late. I asked J to let it go, it was only 3 minutes. He said he would not. I am glad he's being strict. I was secretly hoping he would not let me off the hook.

J told me later that my punishment for coming to bed late. I am to write a short essay detailing 3 benefits of having and abiding by a bedtime. J's never had me write an essay before. I'm not sure how I feel about that just yet. It is due on Monday by the time he gets home from work.

I was originally thinking I would write one brief paragraph, but J has since informed me that an essay has an intro, a paragraph for each of the 3 benefits, and a conclusion. I don't know how long it will take me, so I am going to do that first thing tomorrow to get it out of the way.

My butt finally stopped being sore early on Saturday. J will certainly be changing that tomorrow. My regular spankings will be Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week. We are going to try that for a few weeks to see if it's enough to keep me motivated. Then we can revisit the frequency and adjust as needed.

Catching Up

I wrote a few of these posts previously, on my laptop, which did not have Internet access for a few days. I am just uploading them now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday I woke up to find my butt is still very sore. We have found, in our previous experiences, that when my butt stays sore for more than a day, it helps as a reminder to me whenever I am feeling lazy or unmotivated.

I got all of my errands and "chores" (for lack of a better word) done today in record time. I had enough time for some pampering - just some little things I like to do that I often don’t have time for, or put off. I moisturized all of my skin today - all over my whole body. I used my favorite lotion and felt so silky smooth afterwards. Not to mention I smell great! Why don't I do this everyday? Oh, that's right, I lean toward the lazy side. Hopefully that will be changing and I'll have time to pamper myself more often.

An unintentional benefit I've noticed is that I've been hanging out with and cuddling with J a lot more this week. Normally when we're watching TV, I have the laptop sitting in front of me and am busy answering emails or reading newsgroups. Now that my days are a bit more structured, I'm finding all this extra time. So my newsgroups are read and emails are answered by the time J gets home from work, which leaves plenty of extra time for hanging out with the man I love.

My spanking tonight was just awful. The hand spanking wasn't so bad, but when J switched over to the paddle it really hurt. My butt was still sore from the previous 3 days of spanking. I kept thinking about what a great week it had been. And I knew this would be the last spanking until Monday. J decided that next week we will cut it down to 3 times a week spankings. Monday, Wednesday and Friday. One of the mistakes I think we made before is we only had weekly spankings and that was just not enough for me. I think 3 times a week will be a good amount. But if it turns out it doesn't work, we'll adjust it accordingly.

I have an earlier bedtime tonight because I have to get up early tomorrow. We have friends coming to stay with us for the weekend and they are arriving in the morning.

Ouch!

Wednesday was a rude awakening on my ass.

I got everything done I needed to do with plenty of time to spare. I even had some extra time to read, which was nice. And our house was clean and staying tidy. I haven't been so motivated in a long time. It felt good. I even had time after dinner to visit a friend for a couple of hours. I put my friends off sometimes because I'm always falling behind on things I need to do and am always trying to play catch-up.

My spanking tonight was a little bit later because J had a meeting run late at work. When I saw him get the paddle I was a little bit nervous. I haven't been spanked with a paddle in months. It was a hard spanking. Both with his hand and the paddle. I didn't cry though. I never do, which is odd, because I cry so easily at other things in my life.

We have lots of toys and spanking implements. I like erotic spankings too, so we have toys that I like to be spanked with and some that aren't so much fun. The one J used today is a large round wooden paddle.

He also gave me a bedtime tonight. I have a lot of trouble sleeping and when I don't get enough sleep I get bad headaches. When I go to bed at the same time and wake up near the same time, consistently I get very few headaches and feel better overall. I've been staying up way too late lately, so J gave me a bedtime.

I always think to myself how strange it seems that I need a bedtime. I am a fully functional, independent adult woman. But for now I will follow the bedtime rule. The worst thing that can happen is it won't work and my sleep will still suffer. Or it might help and keep me on a schedule. That would be wonderful.

My butt is still so very sore, I am rethinking my willingness to have a daily spanking this week. But it's only one more day. We are having friends stay with us this weekend and they are arriving Friday morning. I do not get spanked when other people are around for obvious reasons. I often wish we had friends who were open to our lifestyle, or even just friends who liked spanking for the kink side of it!