Nothing new, still pantsless

There hasn't been too much excitement here lately. J has been working a lot and I have been spring cleaning and organizing and getting rid of things we no longer need.

My weekly spankings have been consistent and typical, if there is such a thing. But there hasn't been a lot of extra time for playing.

I have been wearing a lot less pants lately, though. J has kept me pantsless for most of the past week. The only exceptions have been when I needed to leave the house, and even some of those trips I was only permitted a skirt with nothing underneath. It's kind of thrilling.

Being naked from the waist down gives J lots of easy access to those parts of me. His hands seem to be all over me all the time, which feels nice and is so sexy! So even with very little free time, we still make time to connect, even if it's brief. Sometimes it's just a quick swat on my ass, other times he plays with my pussy, which has been sopping wet for the entire week.

I'm hoping we will have more time for some fun adventures in the upcoming weeks.

There's a cock on the sink

J has definitely been in the mood to play. Tonight started out with him telling me to put on my pink skirt with the mesh (it's see through), and my black sheer shirt. He followed me around the house as I made dinner and washed the dishes, playing with and spanking my ass and tits.

After dinner J leaned me back on the couch and told me to wait. He returned with the rubber cock from my cock gag and a cyberskin dildo. He stuck the gag in my mouth and the dildo in my pussy. He spent a few minutes fucking my face with the gag, then turned his attention to my now dripping pussy. He spanked me in a playful way and fucked me with the dildo. He commanded me to suck on the gag and told me to imagine it was real. J commented about how hot it was to see me getting violated by a dildo and gag. I came in minutes, my whole body convulsing.

I was then led to the bedroom. J threw me on the bed, face first, lifted my skirt and fucked me from behind. He reached around and spanked my pussy until he came.

After we cleaned up ourselves, and our toys, I giggled as I noticed there was a cock sitting on our sink. I thought it would make an interesting picture.

This is the cock from the cock gag that I was sucking on.

My pants have been taken from me

So I'm sitting here with just a shirt on. J came home from work tonight, and immediately asked to see my pussy. I shaved today, so I'm freshly bald. As he was inspecting me, he gave me a few stingy swats on my clit. He then spent some time pinching my clit between my lips, using his thumbs. Ouch!

I can tell J is ready to get fully back into the swing of things. We've been a little lax lately; we've both been busy and tired. It's hard to keep our appointments when we're stressed out.

I always have mixed feelings about that. It's so easy for me to slip back into laziness. It's so comfortable and nice there. So I think to myself, I really don't want J to be strict with me. But then I get mad at myself for wasting a day and not doing anything. And I think to myself, J really needs to be strict with me.

It's not just laziness with myself, I get lazy and neglect J's needs as well. And I hate when I do that. So I'm craving a spanking, but also dreading it at the same time.

J had some work to do in the garage, and when he comes back in, he'll be spanking me. It's a reminder day. I'm not looking forward to the act itself, but I am looking forward to the motivation boost.

I don't know if J's planning on spanking my pussy tonight as well. It's not our normal reminder day for it, but I haven't been exactly jumping at the chance to please him lately, so I feel like I'm due a punishment in that area. There are times when I think to myself, "I should definitely be spanked for that." Of course I never say that out loud!

J made a comment last night about me needing some training. I sometimes makes things hard on him and I really don't mean to. I know there are days when I could easily take his mind off of work and stress and calm him down, but I don't. It's due to pure laziness. As much as training sounds scary, J might have a point.

He also brought up the fact that we don't play with our toys enough. We have a whole box full of them. I don't know exactly what he has in mind, but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough!

Also last night, we found a skirt for me to wear on car rides (or wherever else J wants me to wear it). It's a wrap around skirt, so it'll allow for easy access. J tells me the skirt is to remain open anytime I am wearing it in the car, and of course I won't be wearing anything underneath. We are going to try to take a short road trip this weekend to try it out. He mentioned getting on the highway so that "truckers will be able to look down and see you." [gulp].

Unmotivated

J and I were discussing how unmotivated I've been the past several weeks. He says it's because he hasn't been as focused on my behavior or my reminder spankings. I say it's just because I get lazy. It's just so easy to slip back into old habits of slacking off and not getting anything done.

We were again short on time tonight, but J did give me a thorough spanking. He used the riding crop first. He uses the end for a stingy effect and the long part for a cane-type effect.

I call that little wooden paddle the Popsicle paddle, because that's what it looks like. J made that out of some scrap wood he had in the garage a few years ago. It's light, but it stings! And since it's not huge it concentrates the sting to a small area. J must have spanked me with that for an hour! Or at least that's what it felt like. It was probably closer to 10 minutes.

I know we both have several projects coming up, and as usual J is busy with work, but we are trying not to get too far from our spanking routine. It really does make things easier and better, even if it is time consuming.

Nearly Naked in the car

Some friends of ours are away and we've been going over every night to get their mail, water their plants, pick up the paper, that sort of thing. Well tonight, J informed me that I'd be getting spanked at their house. I didn't see him pack any paddles in the car, so I didn't know at all what he had planned.

Once we picked up the mail and watered the outside flowers, J told me to go into their living room and take my pants off. While I was doing that, J seemed to be wandering around the house, looking for something. When he returned to the living room he was carrying a very thick yard stick that he found in our friends' utility room.

He bent me over the arm of the couch and gave me 7 or 8 really hard swats with the yard stick. It hurt more than I thought it would. I didn't realize how heavy the thing was. J reminded me that I have repeatedly told him I want to finish my to do list every day. And that I agreed there would be consequences when I don't.

He put the yard stick on the floor and sat in the middle of the couch. I bent over his lap and got my reminder spanking. It didn't last as long as normal, but it was more intense with quicker and harder swats. J didn't take any breaks. He just used his hand but it stung just as much as some of our implements.

It was weird being in someone else's house, in a different room than I'm normally in. It was a little bit scary and a little bit exciting. We did not stay there for very long after the spanking.

We went back out to our car and J told me to take off my bra and unbutton my shirt. I did as I was told, but wasn't sure where this was going. I sat in the passenger seat and put my seatbelt on. J made sure my shirt was fully open. It was dark, so I didn't feel too exposed. He spent the first few minutes of the drive rubbing my boobs and pinching my nipples. I was then instructed to unbutton my pants and rub my clit. But J told me not to cum. The drive between our friends' house and ours is about 15 minutes. It was a struggle to rub my clit for that long without cumming.

When we came to the first big intersection with a traffic light, I commented how bright it was. The light was red and other cars were stopping all around us. I tried to slink further down in the seat, but I could still see the reflection of my naked boob in the car window and side mirror. I'm pretty sure other people could too. I was a little bit nervous about that, but I was mostly focused on my clit by that point.

J mentioned that when we go to our friends' tomorrow he wants me to wear a skirt. He also said that we should get me a "driving outfit" which I'm sure would involve a skirt and some sort of tiny, easily accessible, or see-through shirt.

When we pulled into our driveway, J told me I could button my pants, but to leave my shirt open. I was pretty sure no one could see me, but as I stood under the porch light, I couldn't help but feel very visible.

Once we were safely inside, J removed the rest of my clothes and led me to the bedroom where I was finally allowed to cum. I am still topless and I likely will remain so until tomorrow.

Punishment vs. Play spanking

I took today's topic from the Submissive Journal Prompt website:

http://www.submissiveguide.com/journalprompts/

How do you know the difference and respond to a punishment spanking and one received during play?

The difference is easy. J tells me when I have earned a punishment, but also he is firm and definitely serious. There is no mistake when he is playing and when he's not. When we're playing the mood is lighter and it's fun. Punishments are never fun.

My response varies in that I am more serious when I'm being punished; I know it's not a joke. And I am usually wishing I had not done the thing that has earned me a spanking.

I don't really get punished very often. The reminder spankings I get 3 times a week seem to keep me out of trouble most of the time. Although there are some days, like today, where I know that I am absolutely not going to get to one of the things on my to do list. I'm about 99% sure I'll be getting a punishment spanking tomorrow in addition to my reminder spanking (eek!).

Bald Pussy

I shaved my pussy today and right afterwards, I texted J to tell him. I knew he'd appreciate the information. He texted me back telling me to strip from the waist down and that he'd be home shortly for lunch.

When he got home he examined my bald pussy and told me how nice it looked. He sat me on the couch and told me to masturbate. As I did he swatted my pussy with the back of his hand. We were right in front of a window. No one can really see in, but it still felt like I was exposed. The combination of those things made me cum in mere minutes.

There was not enough time for me to give J the same pleasure, before he had to go back to work. But I imagine that will be happening later tonight.

There's gonna be a spanking tonight

I'm sitting here dreading the spanking I know I'll be getting today. But at the same time I know I need it. My motivation level is zero.

It's mostly because I haven't been spanked in over a week. Some friends of ours decided to drive to their beach house for the week, and invited us to go along. It was all very last minute and things were hectic the few days before we left. It was all worth it; we had a fantastic time. But we could not keep to our normal spanking schedule.

So I know it's coming and I have no interest in being spanked at all. When I have a week off, it's always so hard for me to get back into things.

Tonight is pussy spanking night too. I know we both need that. We've not been able to connect intimately in ages. It seems like it's always something. I hurt or J hurts, or people are around, or there's no time, or we're too tired. Just so many things. I think the intimacy of a pussy spanking will do us some good.

Sarah Silverman a spanko?

J and I were watching Dave Letterman the other night and Sarah Silverman said she gets spanked by her boyfriend! She says he left a hand shaped bruise on her tushie.

You can watch it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4evrd5r--w

Skipped a day

On Monday I asked J if we could skip my appointment. I've been stressed out the past few weeks and I felt like I needed a break that day. I didn't think I was in a good place, mentally or emotionally to take a spanking. J was ok with that, but said we would resume on Wednesday.

Wednesday was today and I still wasn't exactly into the idea of getting spanked, but I no longer felt like it would be emotionally bad for me like I did the other day. J asked me if I have been feeling motivated and I said no. So he asked if we should go back to every day spankings. I said definitely No!

J assured me that even though I might not be into this right now, he is going to make sure to keep up with it. Every other time we would have stopped and gotten out of the routine of spanking. And after a short time we would both be wishing we never stopped. He said this time he's not going to allow that to happen.

My J is so strong and takes such good care of me. He has been the best husband in so many ways, but lately his will to be consistent has been shining through. Hopefully that will help get me through the times when I am not interested in being spanked!

The Puppy Papers

I recently mentioned that I was reading The Puppy Papers. I just finished it tonight.

This book consists of emails between Sharon (puppy) and Steven (the Dom). As the book goes on, they're mostly just Sharon's emails to Steven. He doesn't always respond (or he just didn't publish his responses).

Steven is a very experienced Dom and is also involved in the porn business. Sharon has limited experience, but is very eager to learn.

Right away Steven stresses the importance of compassion, trust, and respect. He's also quick to state that even when he's in complete control, he is aware of his sub's headspace and safety. These are things I can appreciate that I think are important in any relationship.

Sharon is self aware and seems to be able to put her feelings into words that are relatable. She's very honest about what she wants and who she is. She is very willing to explore and learn about herself and about being a sub. She has no conflict or guilt, about what she feels, just an overwhelming desire for completeness. She says she communicates better through writing than she does in person, which is something I can relate to, as I do the same thing,

As the relationship progresses it seems like Sharon starts pushing for more of a permanent thing, but she tries to be subtle about it. She often drops hints, like saying how much she wishes they could spend more time together and she wants to serve him more often. She also mentions she'd like to serve him 24/7. He rarely returns a comment when she mentions it.

The book does insinuate bestiality, which is not something I'm into. She doesn't go into any detail about it though, so it didn't turn me off of the book.

There were times when I thought some of the stories of Sharon's past might be exaggerations, but then I think of my own life and realized I did some crazy shit when I was younger. Even dangerous things that now I can't believe I did, so it's possible it's all true.

I'd recommend the book if it's a subject you are interested in. Being all emails, it's an easy book to read. I was able to get through it pretty quickly (when I could find time to actually sit down and read).

Communication

This is the latest post on Submissive Journal Prompts
http://www.submissiveguide.com/journalprompts/

"How does your owner expect you to communicate when you are angry/upset?"

In my case I don't have an owner, but I do have a dominant husband. And he expects full honesty and open communication. Which works out great for me, not only do I value honesty, but I also tend to be blunt and uncensored sometimes.

Thankfully J and I haven't had to deal with any distrust or jealousy issues, and our communication has never been a problem. It's one of the reasons our version of DD works so well for us.

I'm nearing the end of The Puppy Papers by Puppy Sharon & Steven Toushin. I should have a report for you in the next few days.

The Puppy Papers

I recently started a new book called The Puppy Papers by Puppy Sharon & Steven Toushin. I just started it, so I don't have much to say yet.

This is the description from the back of the book:
This unique and honest story traces one middle American woman’s journey into kinky sex. After 18 years of trying to be the perfect wife, mother, church member, friend, and professional, she realizes something big is missing in her life. With a few strokes of the keyboard, she stumbles into the amazing sexual hunting grounds of the Internet, falling with eyes open into the world of adult personal ads.

As only a puppy can, she eagerly jumps into BDSM on her first real-time encounter, meeting the man who becomes her first master. With that initial taste of kinky sex, a desire that laid dormant for many years came alive so strong that there was no going back. Beginning with the man she first called master, puppy embarked upon a search for her true Master. This book is the result of six months of e-mail correspondence with her current Master, that began as He desired to know her better.

Since puppy is a quiet woman around her Master, it was only through the written word that her story emerged, eventually taking on a life of its own. puppy’s story includes memories of herself as a little girl learning about her body, her sexual awakenings in her teen years, and the maturing of her libidinal desires. There is no conflict or guilt in puppy’s story, just an overwhelming desire for completeness.

In other news, I have been going to the gym according to the schedule J has set for me, so I've avoided being grounded so far.

I've also been motivated enough to complete my to-do list every day. I even started spring cleaning and have done many extra chores. And J and I are finally going to paint the office this weekend. I'm excited to pick a new color; the current paint is dingy and dull.

Spring is here!

Grounded?

Last night I was complaining again about the fact that I keep skipping the gym. J was tired of hearing it, and he announced that I would be going back to the gym starting today, and if I don't he will ground me. When he said that, my initial response was disbelief. Ground me? Those were words I hadn't heard since I was a teenager. It sounded so weird coming from my husband.

J let me know that yes, I will be grounded if I don't get back into a gym routine. I didn't ask too many questions, but he did specify that I would be grounded from the computer, as well as getting an early bedtime. I don't know if the grounding would also include TV, phone, going out, things like that. I also don't know how long I'd be grounded for - an hour? A day? A week? I am hoping I won't find out. Being grounded would put a serious wrinkle in my day to day activities.

J's right though, without any consequences I get lazy and skip the gym. And then he has to listen to me complain about not having any energy and feeling flabby. And it's no fun to listen to someone complain about something they can easily fix.

I haven't gone yet, but I still have plenty of time. We are lucky to have a 24 hour gym, so I can still fit in a workout later this evening.

Unfinished List

For the first time in a long time, I didn't finish my to do list. I knew I'd be getting a spanking when J got home from work. I was not looking forward to it. I feel like I've been spanked a lot this week. Plus I was already scheduled to receive a reminder/maintenance spanking tonight.

For my punishment, J used the big, long wooden paddle. The one I hate the most. He gave me 2 swats on each cheek (one for each item not completed on my to do list). I didn't exactly cry, but it did bring tears to my eyes. That paddle really hurts!

A few hours later, during my reminder spanking, J let me know that he won't hesitate to spank me every day if he thinks it will help me remember to get my list completed. I immediately said "No Way!" Three times a week is enough.

Once all of that was out of the way, we had a nice start to the weekend. We had a fun time running some errands, then we spent the rest of the night cuddling and watching movies. I felt very relaxed and loved.

Happy weekend!

Bedtime Blow Job

I was feeling a bit grumpy last night at bedtime when J wanted a blow job. I said I didn't feel like it and whined about it. J does not like whining. At all. He immediately rolled me over and spanked my pussy. He reminded me that I am not allowed to tell him no. He also reminded me that the punishment for whining is getting a dick in my mouth. J feels that if I am whining, he will give me something else to occupy my mouth with. Sometimes he uses the cock gag, most times he uses his own cock.

The pussy spanking was short, but very stingy. J made sure to spank most of my very sensitive areas. He was having a bit of trouble holding open my lips to spank my clit, because of the position we were in. For a second I thought he was going to ask me to hold them open, but thankfully he didn't. I'm not sure that I would be able to actually do that knowing how much it hurts.

When J was done spanking my pussy, he guided my head down to his cock and fucked my face until he was satisfied.

My whining was pointless. All it got me was a pussy spanking. Sometimes I just can't help myself.

Why domestic discipline is not domestic violence.

I recently read this blog post by Natty over at The Punishment Book about why domestic discipline is not domestic violence.

I like how the post points out very clearly how the two are not even remotely connected. The biggest, most glaring difference is consent. There is no consent with abuse, and it is largely based on manipulation. With DD there is consent and honesty. At least there is in our household.

If you have a minute, go read Natty's great post on the subject.

The whole blog

I just re-read the whole blog from the beginning. It was interesting to see what I was feeling a couple of years ago. I'm happy J and I have been able to progress in this aspect of our relationship. We're both much better at it now, especially the consistency part of it. I give J all the credit for that. He has not let us slide back into laziness when it comes to our spanking schedule and other aspects of our version of DD. I'm not sure it will ever sound "normal" for me to say I have a spanking schedule.

Even with the spankings, I sometimes find myself sitting here staring at my list, feeling lazy, wondering if it would be worth it just to get spanked. At the end of every day it seems like I have that one thing on my to do list that I just do not feel like doing. I think to myself, "I could just not do it." But then I think of how it feels to be spanked as a punishment. Most of the time, I ultimately complete my to do list. Maybe that means the reminder spankings are working.

Bent over the chair

Tonight was just like any other night when I decided to ask J, "Are we having our appointment today?"

He looked over at me, surprised, "Why wouldn't we?"

"I don't know. I just don't feel like it."

Without hesitation J commanded, "Stand up."

I did as instructed.

J guided me over the chair, pulled my pants down and started spanking with quick, sharp swats. After just a few minutes, he pulled my pants back up and stood me up again.

He then told me to get on my knees, which I did quickly. He guided my head down to his cock. After he came, he told me we could cancel the reminder spanking.

I guess that was one way to tell me. ha. ha.

Submissive Journal Prompts

I've been having some trouble coming up with things to write about. I feel like I'm writing about the same spanking over and over. So, I did some searching online for some ideas awhile back and I came across this site. I forgot about it until today when I was going through some old bookmarks. It's called Submissive Journal Prompts: http://www.submissiveguide.com/journalprompts/

The prompt today is about blogging and it says this: "If you have an online blog, this would be a good week to reintroduce yourself to your readers." So that's what I thought I would do.

My name is Cassady and I'm a spanko. I've had an interest in spanking for as long as I can remember, but it was always a sexual thing. Over the years I've been able to find tons of information, thanks to the Internet, about spanking, different lifestyles, BDSM, DD, and many other things that interest me. When I met J he had never spanked anyone. He is a gentle soul, and I was afraid he wouldn't be able to step into any sort of dominant role. But if you've been reading this blog you know he is a natural.

We've taken aspects from different schools of thought, and have found things we really like and that work well for us. We have stopped and started trying to live our own version of DD many times. Somehow it seems like we stop for a specific reason (house guests, illness, laziness, etc.) and never start back up again. But we are both happier when we could keep up with it. This last time we started, we both decided we would make a commitment to make it a priority. And so far that's been working out great.

I get regular spankings 3 times a week. We usually call them reminder spankings because the purpose is to remind me to finish my to-do list every day, stay motivated, and submit to J. It also reminds me what the consequences are of not doing those things. I also get weekly pussy spankings. This further aids in my submissiveness.

This is all done with my permission and at my request. J is so very loving and attentive, I could never dream of someone else I'd want to be married to. And he cares enough to discipline me when I need it.

Feel free to introduce yourself in the comments or send me an email.

Pussy Punishment

J and I had a very nice, relaxing weekend where we got to spend a lot of time just being together. There was one point where I was a bit of a brat and wouldn't expose my tits when J asked. He reminded me that was a no no and asked if I wanted my pussy spanked. Of course I said no.

Since he didn't spank me right then, I figured the incident had been forgotten about, but tonight after my regular reminder spanking, J told me to flip over onto my back. He reminded me that I was due a punishment spanking on my pussy for refusing him this weekend.

He whipped my pussy with a small strap, while lecturing me on whose pussy it is and how I agreed to submit to him. This was my first pussy punishment and I thought it would be a lot worse. When I get my ass spanked for punishment it's way worse than a reminder spanking. But the pussy punishment was not nearly as bad as the weekly reminders I get. Although at one point he spread my lips wide and was spanking directly on my clit. That hurt a lot.

J then started using his thumb to play with my clit during the spanking. He was doing both at the same time. I asked him why he was making me feel good, when it was supposed to hurt, but he said I shouldn't tell him how to play with his toy. He's right, so I didn't object further. Overall it felt more like a game than a serious spanking.

He didn't let me cum at that time, and the spanking didn't last very long. When it was over, we cuddled for a few minutes. It always feels so right being in his arms.

I'm quite happy with the way we've been progressing and keeping up with our version of DD. Every other time we've tried it, we ended up stopping and months would go by before we'd start again. J has been great about maintaining consistency and a level of strictness. He doesn't let me get away with much. For the most part I get my things done every day and don't get punished very often. And that definitely feels good.

Many implements

I came into the bedroom and saw all of these implements laying out on the bed.



I knew tonight I was going to be spanked on my ass and also on my pussy. For various reasons that seemed to happen one right after the other, it has been a long time since I've had my pussy spanked.

I was first told to lay on my stomach. J sat next to me on the bed and began to spank me with his hand. He switched on and off with the strap, ruler, and other implements pictured above. At one point he spanked each cheek hard, very quickly, one right after the other. It seemed to go on forever. My ass was on fire.

We discussed the usual topics during the spanking. The reasons for the spanking, understanding the rules and consequences, if these reminder spankings help me get things done, and what I need to do to avoid punishment.

Once that was over he had me flip onto my back. He started right in, using his hand at first. He also used one of the small leather slappers. J lectured me more than usual tonight during my pussy spanking. He was very stern. I felt like he was in a very strict mode and I also felt like he would not abuse that role and he would take care of me. He thoroughly spanked my pussy and lips. He even spanked inside my lips, on the very sensitive part. He used the ruler on my pussy and also on my nipples. It stung and I know I squirmed a lot.

I feel very submissive immediately after a pussy spanking. I guess that's the idea. Thing is, it wears off pretty quickly. The submissive feeling. Not totally, but mostly.

Tonight, right after my spanking, J did an inspection of my pussy. He checked to make sure there were no marks or bruising. I feel so exposed when he does his examinations.

He then started playing with my clit. At one point I asked him to move his thumb to a different position. He asked me if I was trying to tell him how to play with his toy. And he said, "Didn't we just talk about whose toy this is?" Yes, yes, we did.

I was close to cuming, but he stopped and said that wasn't the time for that. I hopped in the shower and thought about finishing myself off, but I wasn't sure if I should. We have no set rule about me cuming. Generally I just cum whenever I want. So I thought I would wait and mention it later. When I did J said I could use my favorite toy tonight to come before I go to bed. I am looking forward to that. I couldn't wait though. Just a little while ago I used my hand while still in the office. I just couldn't wait for the release.

Velcro Underwear

I was punished again today for not completing an item on my to do list. It's nearly always the same item - not practicing my guitar. I really do want to play the guitar, I just hate the practicing and learning part. I get so frustrated when I can do it perfectly right away. So I didn't do it yesterday and J spanked me for it. I got several really hard swats with the strap before he continued spanking me for my regular reminder spanking. At one point J pulled my ass cheek to one side and spanked the inner part. I can't recall if he's ever done that before. It stung!

I worked on an interesting project today. Awhile back I read somewhere that a man made his wife wear underwear with velcro on the inside anytime she received a spanking. Mostly it was for when she got spanked as a reminder right before they went out somewhere, she'd wear this special underwear so that anytime she moved, the rough part of the velcro rubbed on her already hurting ass. It was to serve as a constant reminder throughout the night.

Well I've never seen any velcro underwear for sale anywhere, so J asked me to make some. I took a pair of my own underwear and bought enough velcro to cover the back part AND the front part. This was also J's idea. That way when I am required to wear it, it will rub on my ass and my pussy. I just finished it today, so I haven't had a chance to wear it yet. I'm hoping I don't have to wear it for a long time, because it looks very uncomfortable. When I am eventually required to wear it, I'll be sure to blog about it.

Punished Again!

I don't know what it is with me, but anytime there is anything different in my schedule (like J gets home from work early, or I am not here when he gets home, etc.) I forget to show him my completed to do list.

I forgot again today and J had to ask me for it. After I showed him the list, he reminded me that I am to show him the list every day when he gets home from work. He led me into the bedroom, pulled my pants down, and had me lay on my stomach on the bed.

We recently got some new implements and J decided to use this new one today:



It's essentially just a belt sewn together at the end. J says it gives him a good amount of control when he swings it.

It feels just like any other belt and it stings. I felt more defiant today, and slightly irritated. It's sometimes hard to see what the big deal is. My list was all finished, so that should be that. But J's point is that he doesn't know it's done if he doesn't see it, with everything all checked off.

The spanking wasn't very long, but he lectured me the whole time. He finished up with a few really hard swats to my ass with his hand. Then it was over.

Tomorrow I will remember...

The Scorpion's Sweet Venom

I have been feeling unwell again, so J and I have not been playing at all. I have been getting my regular reminder spankings, but even they have been brief. I am anxious to get over this sinus infection, and severe skin dryness, and cramps, and get back to our regular fun!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days ago I mentioned a book I was reading "The Scorpion's Sweet Venom" by Bruna Surfistinha. It was a quick read and I just finished it last night.

The book starts with some background info about Raquel, the author. She's adopted and her family is wealthy. She is constantly seeking to push limits and find adventure. She doesn't exactly feel love from her family and at 17 decides to go out on her own. She very willingly becomes a prostitute and lives by her own rules.

She takes on the name Bruna, and in the book she switches between her reality as Raquel and her reality as Bruna.

She is successful at her job and mostly enjoys her work. She makes interesting observations about her clients. She decides to start a blog as an outlet and it becomes very popular, landing her in magazine and television interviews.

She gives a lot of pointers in her book about what people really want sexually but are too afraid to ask their partners.

She sets a financial goal for herself and when she reaches it, her plan is to get out of prostitution and go back to school for psychology. She seems to be very strong and level headed.

She does meet her goals and leaves prostitution. Her plan was to keep up with her blog, but it is an invalid link, now, so I guess she didn't.

I wouldn't call it a great book, but it was very interesting and I would recommend it to anyone who has an interest in her story. I like the way she seems so sure of herself, even when she's faced with an unsure situation. She seems to be easily able to separate sex and love, which is something I can appreciate.

Forgotten List

I again forgot to show J my completed to-do list on Friday. I don't know why I keep forgetting. This is the 3rd time. I didn't remember until I was already bent over on the bed, with my pants off for my regular Friday reminder spanking.

J said, "Did you forget to do something today?"

At first I didn't know what he was talking about. And then it dawned on me!
I quietly said, "I didn't show you my list."

I got a short lecture and 4 really hard swats with the strap, in addition to my regular reminder spanking. During the lecture J told me he wanted me to journal about forgetting to show him my list, when I get spanked for it, why, and how I felt.

I don't know if he meant for me to do it on the blog or not, but that's where I'm doing it.

January 29th - Today I was spanked because I forgot to show J my to do list.
I felt shocked at first, I was in disbelief that I had forgotten anything. I've been really good at finishing my list. But once I realized I had forgotten to show J, I felt disappointed in myself. I had forgotten again. J asks me how will he know if I have completed my list or not unless I show it to him?

The spanking hurt and I may have yelped once or twice, but I didn't cry. I never do. J led me to the corner and told me to stand there and think about how I'm going to remember to show him my list every day. I'm still not sure exactly how I'm going to remember, but I hope I do!

Later in the evening I made the mistake of whining. J abhors whining. He always tells me he will find something else to put in my mouth. So after about 30 seconds of whining, I found myself on my knees with J's dick in my mouth. He's done this before and usually only has me suck him off for a few minutes, but last night he had me suck him until he came. In the past he has also made me wear a cock gag for whining. He really doesn't like to hear whining.

J has been on a toy buying spree the past week or so. He ordered a bunch of new stuff. The skirt is the only thing that has arrived so far. We are waiting on several slapper type paddles, and some other stuff. I'll post pictures as things arrive.

I'm not quite sure what he's up to with the new toys, but the theme seems to be "things to slap my pussy with". A lot of these new toys are things that will make me feel very submissive and that's something J has been paying a bit more attention to, lately. I feel like I might be headed for a bit of sub-type training in the near future. I am partially excited and partially terrified. I sometimes get very anxious if I feel that I'm not in control. But once I get past that, it's something that makes me feel good in the end.

Not having had my pussy spanked in so long; I am really feeling like something is missing. Not like there's some big flaw in our relationship or anything...more like the very deep level we connect on is just slightly less deep. It's due to some girlie issues I've been having that have prevented us from playing much and I think that's really what I'm missing. Hopefully I will be back to normal soon.

New skirt!

Do you ever say you need a spanking, and then once you're being spanked you realize you were completely wrong and you didn't need a spanking after all? That's how I felt today. I think J is feeling back into the swing of things this week, as my spanking felt more real than it has for awhile.

J ordered a skirt for me to wear once the weather gets warmer. I think he will have me wear it when I am doing certain household tasks, or maybe after spankings, I'm not sure yet. Here is a picture of it.



I started reading the book I mentioned the other night - The Scorpion's Sweet Venom. I am only a few pages in, but so far I like it. She writes as 2 people - her real self and her prostitute self. I like the way she uses a different font for each story.

I Need a spanking

I'm glad it's Monday. My spanking schedule has been intermittent for the past couple of weeks. I've been sick off and on, and for some reason I always felt worse after a spanking. So J stopped them for all of last week. And pussy spankings haven't happened in 2 or 3 weeks.

I'm feeling mostly better now, so I am getting a spanking tonight. And I really feel like I need one. One day last week I didn't complete my to do list. I just didn't really care about it. Partly it was because I wasn't feeling well and partly it was because I knew there'd be no immediate consequence. At the time J did say we will discuss it next week.

I hate admitting that I *need* to be spanked, but my motivation slips away so quickly without regular physical reminders. I keep thinking that one of these days we will decrease the reminder spankings to maybe 2 days a week or maybe even once a week, like we once did. But it seems like as long as 3 days a week keep working, J is going to stick with that schedule.

I probably won't get a pussy spanking this week, but those will resume next week. I am feeling like I need one of those too. I haven't felt very submissive or sexual lately. Again it's partly because I am unwell, but it's also because we haven't had that connection in awhile. J has mentioned that he can tell I am in need of one.

I just got a new book. It's called "The Scorpion's Sweet Venom: The Diary of a Brazilian Call Girl" by Bruna Surfistinha. Part memoir, part cautionary tale, part sex guide, Bruna brings to life the raw, desperate and dangerous underbelly of the Brazilian sex trade, and shares outrageous advice for the bedroom, like what men really want but are too afraid to ask. Provocative, seductive and unforgettable, The Scorpion’s Sweet Venom is the vivid account of a young girl’s life on the street, and a fearless expression of human sexuality.

I'll post a review after I read it. Anyone else reading anything?

Motivation & Consequences

J and I talked about consequences tonight. Well he mostly talked (and spanked) and I mostly listened. J asked me if I feel more motivated. I'm not sure motivated is the right word, but I definitely make sure my things are done every day.

I notice that when I'm thinking about not completing my to do list, my first thought is that I know I'll get spanked for it. I say things to myself like, "It won't be so bad." But I've not yet had a punishment spanking since the most recent time we started our version of DD. I know the maintenance spankings are pretty bad, I don't really want to know what a more severe spanking would be like.

Ultimately I decide to complete my list and not find out what a punishment spanking would be like.

I haven't had any corner time in a few weeks. The corner we normally use has been occupied by some boxes of stuff that we need to move to storage. So J has been skipping that part. I can't say I feel any differently about things without the corner time. I know it's supposed to be time to reflect, but I usually just stand there, bored and wondering how much longer I have to stand there. So I haven't missed it.

Since we are talking about corner time, I thought I would comment on another section from the article of unknown origin. (AG = Article Guy)

AG is a big fan of corner time. He requires his wife to be nude while in the corner, which is essentially what J does. Although J does let me wear a robe (untied) if I am chilly.

AG says the minimum amount of corner time should be 10-15 minutes for maintenance, and 20-30 for punishments. J usually only makes me stand in the corner for 5 minutes or less. I get bored standing there and usually my mind drifts to other things that aren't related to the spanking I just received.

AG's reasoning for the length of time is that he says there are cycles of thought. He says his wife might first go through boredom and anger, and only after that will she be able to focus on what got her put in the corner. I definitely get the boredom thing, but I'm not sure I'd ever feel angry.

AG says it is "more effective if you physically place your wife in the corner". I would agree with that. There's something more dominant about J leading me to and placing me in the corner. The same with removing me from the corner when my time is up.

I'm sure if I was getting a punishment spanking, J would require me to stand in the corner for a longer period of time. But let's hope I don't find out anytime soon!

I hope you all have a good weekend and try not to get in trouble!

Submission

I really notice a difference in my submission level when I am pussy spanked. It had been a few weeks since the last one and I've felt a little more disconnected in the submission part of my relationship with J.

But after Wednesday's spanking, I feel more of a desire to please J and I feel somehow more...protected? I don't know if that's the right word to use. I guess there's a sort of security feeling I get when J is taking care of me. And when I know J is filling my needs, I'm more wanting to fill his.

The spanking itself was relatively mild compared to others I've had. I've been having some dry skin troubles around my legs, and J was careful not to spank there (he sometimes spanks my inner thighs when I'm receiving a pussy spanking). But it still had the desired effect.

Sometimes when J spreads my lips and spanks, I am afraid it will hurt so much that I won't be able to handle it. But every time J knows just how to do it perfectly, and he never damages me, physically or emotionally. It's an amazing feeling to be able to put that much trust in someone.

After 2 weeks of no spankings

Due to the holidays I went about 2 weeks with no spankings. The first one after the break was on Monday. My ass is so sensitive after not being spanked for that long! It's like virgin skin. Because of the spankings on Monday (and again on Wednesday), plus the cold, dry air, I'm getting terrible dry skin. I hate that! J has been putting lots of lotion on my butt, I hope it helps.

Both spankings this week were pretty straightforward. We are struggling a bit to get back into a routine, plus we've both been busier than normal. J has been really great about making it work.

We had our very bestest friends over during Christmas. We don't get to see them often, because they live far away, so we were happy to get to spend some time with them. J and I have discussed telling them about our version of DD. I'd love to be able to share it with someone we are close to. But at the same time, I'm afraid they wouldn't understand. I always find it interesting when I read about people who have families that all participate in DD and similar things. I sometimes wish I had that kind of family. Or at least some friends that shared in our activities.

My New Year's Resolution is to do a better job of keeping up with this blog and post more pictures!

Happy New Year!

Holidays

I haven't had much time to post, lately. We've had houseguests and I've been baking and shopping, getting ready for Christmas. That's not likely to change between now and the new year.

Just wanted to say Happy Holidays to everyone here from Cassady and Jack!

Does anyone feel tired after being spanked?

I've been noticing that sometimes after J has spanked me I feel so sleepy. Does this happen to anyone else? I don't know if it's something hormonal or if it's emotional, or maybe a little of both.

Wednesday was what we've been calling maintenance plus. That's a spanking, plus a pussy spanking.

Since I again forgot to show J my to do list when he got home from work, he immediately gave me two intense swats with the strappy thing. (The one I posted a picture of a few days ago.) OUCH!

He then proceeded to spank me, alternating between his hand, the strap, and the trade show ruler. We discussed my motivation and how I wasn't as motivated last week. He reminded me that I should be thinking about the consequences even on my off days.

J told me to flip over for the plus portion of Wednesday's maintenance. He started off with a bare minimum of warm up swats with his hand. It's a pretty intense experience for me. J is normally such a softie, but when he is taking the lead he is so...strong...and controlled. I love to hear him using his commanding voice. When he says, "Who's pussy is this?" And I reply, "It's yours." It just does something to me. I love giving myself to him.

I started thinking about how I'm feeling a combination of love, warmth, being taken care of, being able to give myself so completely to J, I feel his strength, but I'm also feeling pain. During all of this he's still spanking my pussy with his hand and the smooth ruler. He isn't gentle. He uses one hand to spread me open and the other to spank the very sensitive inside part of my lips. J also uses the ruler on my nipples. He is a fan of the short, sharp swats. The ones that sting!

Whatever it is we're doing with our version of DD, it seems to be working. We're definitely not perfect, but we both feel this way is a positive thing in our lives. So we'll stick with it for now.

Thanksgiving and getting back into the routine

Our DD activities kind of fell apart last week with the holidays; having houseguests and later being houseguests. We had a great time celebrating with friends and family, though.

As I was making up my weekly to do list on Sunday, J told me to make sure I had our 3 appointments on there. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. With the Wednesday one including a pussy spanking. I didn't get that last week and even though I don't like it, I still missed it.

It's incredible to me how much being held accountable does for me. This past week I barely got the things done I needed to do. It was a real struggle for me. It was almost like I knew there would be no consequences, so I didn't make the effort. It's just so much easier to be lazy and focus my attention elsewhere.

We were watching The Biggest Loser on our DVR over the weekend, and I found myself wondering: If those people had consequences like spanking, would they be more inclined to exercise/eat right? I'd like to see Bob and Jillian with a paddle!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is some more from the article of unknown origin that I have been commenting on. (AG = Article Guy)

Another thing the AG talks about is Grounding. This is one of those areas that I am conflicted about. When I honestly think about it, there are times when I spend too much time on the computer, and shirk my responsibilities. That seems like an offense ideal for grounding.

But would I get angry and resent J for grounding me? Or would I ignore the grounding? I'm not really sure as I've never actually been grounded, for real. AG restricts his wife from TV, Internet, phone, and leaving the house when she is grounded. The length of time depends on her offense. Anywhere from several hours to several days. I can't even imagine being restricted from doing something I want to do for several days.

AG says grounding is very effective on his wife, and that he doesn't have to do it often. If J decides I need to be grounded at some point, I will be sure to blog about how I dealt with it.

No warm up

(This blog post was from last Monday, I just forgot to post it!)

J started right in with that awful strap tonight. No warm up or anything! Partly it was because Mondays are the start of a new week and I hadn't been spanked all weekend. The other part was because I forgot to show him my to-do list when he got home from work.

He says if I don't show it to him, how does he know it's completed? He will just assume it is not, if I don't show it to him.

So I got a few extra (and hard!) swats with the strap while J was lecturing me.

It was almost unbearable. I was sort of in and out of sub space. When he said "Last 10, count out loud," I didn't think I was going to be able to do it. It's the closest I've ever come to crying from a spanking.

I will definitely remember to show him my list tomorrow!

Wednesday's Implements

I thought I would try posting a picture of the implements J used today. I've never put a picture on a blog before, I hope it works!

The top one, in this picture, I call the strappy thing. It's leather and heavy. The strap is about 3"-4" wide. It feels stingy and thudy at the same time. It definitely gets my attention!

The one at the bottom of the picture used to be a ruler that J sanded down very smooth. He also rounded the edges and put a layer of finish on it. It's a nice pretty piece of solid wood when I'm not being spanked with it!

J used the ruler on my pussy tonight. Last week we started pussy maintenance, which J decided we would do on Wednesdays. This is in addition to my regular ass spankings, that I'm still getting three times a week.

Wednesdays are a little strange for me. After my ass gets spanked it feels like it's going to over, but then I have to flip over to get the rest of the maintenance.

We've both been pretty pleased at how well it's working this time. I feel a little bit more motivated, my to-do lists have been finished every day, and J says I've been more submissive to him.

I'm trying to get started back into my gym routine this week. I hope I can stay motivated enough to keep going regularly.

Well, if I don't, I know what will happen!

My first pussy maintenance

I received my first pussy maintenance tonight. J decided we will do this once a week as part of our maintenance schedule.

He arranged me on his lap, between his legs, so that my head was resting on his thigh and my legs were at an angle, away from him. It made it so his hand cupped perfectly over my pussy when it made contact. He used a heavy wooden ruler for a lot of the spanking. During some of it, he stretched my pussy tight, slightly parted my lips, and spanked my very sensitive areas.

It was different to be able to see J's face when he was spanking me. Usually I am face down. It was exciting to see him really embracing his role.

It was a bit startling how much the spanking stung. I have never had J spank my pussy like he means it before. Usually it was just for play. It lasted a long time and he made sure not to miss any spots.

He also reminded me that I gave him permission to use my pussy when he wants to, and that this spanking was a reminder of what will happen if I deny him. It was kind of thrilling to hear him talk to me like that, but at the same time my pussy was aching from the sting. I do believe this will be effective for me. After this spanking, I cannot imagine what a punishment would be like, and I really don't want to find out.

Does anyone else do this?

Just so no one worries - we do have a safe word I can use if I am ever not comfortable in a situation. But J and I are very in tune with each other and I doubt I will ever need to use it. Also, just to be clear, I asked for us to do our version of DD.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since I just received my first pussy maintenance I thought this next post from AG would be appropriate.

AG writes that on the rare occasion that his wife denies him sex, she gets a pussy whipping later in the evening. He stresses that this happens EVERY TIME. Without fail. He never lets her get away with it. He reiterates that several times. He says consistency is important in all aspects of DD, and that's the only thing that will really make it work.

AG says he most often uses a leather whip, a belt, his hand, or a combination. He says he is careful to cover her whole pussy, all sides and edges, and even makes his wife spread her lips for some slaps to her clit. He says that you must be careful to lightly slap when her clit is exposed to avoid doing any permanent damage (good to know).

He says it's very effective and that it's rare he ever has to whip his wife's pussy. He mentions that immediately after her refusal, they have sex anyway, and that she gets her punishment later in the evening.

I really like that he has sex right away and then waits until later for the pussy spanking. I think that would be more effective. I'm going to mention this to J. For one thing, I'd rather take care of J when he is super horny, than later when he may have calmed down. Also, the anticipation would make the punishment all that more effective.

Monday's Maintenance

J brought out one of the big wooden paddles today, which immediately sent my belly into flip flops. I hate those wooden paddles.

He warmed up my ass with his hand and then switched to the paddle. J said he wanted to make sure that it was still effective and since I was more "in practice" now with spankings, I should be able to handle a harder paddling. I guess I handled it ok.

After the spanking and time in the corner, we talked about the effectiveness of the maintenance. J and I both agree it is working to keep me motivated. My to do lists have been completed every day and that makes me very happy, which makes J very happy.

He mentioned that if I can stay motivated, submissive, and can complete my list over the weekend, we may switch to twice weekly maintenance in the next week or so. My ass says YES! But I have a little bit of fear that if I don't get that reminder I might slack off. We will see how it all works out.

I've been reading a lot of other spanking/discipline blogs and I sometimes find myself nodding in agreement with the thoughts or comments of the poster. I am seeing bits of myself in many of them. I see a lot of people trying to practice some form of DD who have the same struggles with consistency that we have had in the past. I wonder if we are alike in other ways. I wonder how much like me the poster is in real life.

At the same time, I'm also finding a lot of spanking blogs that are fiction or professional models. That makes me feel very much alone. Like I am the only person who is like this in real life.

I guess it doesn't matter as long as it makes me happy and it works for my relationship dynamic with J.

Relaxing Sunday

J woke me up on Sunday with a full head-to-toe massage. He paid attention to each part of my body, and did a very thorough job. It lasted over an hour. It was glorious.

He then made me a nice breakfast, which we ate while catching up on our DVR'd shows from the previous week. We spent the next few hours just lounging around and cuddling on the couch. The rest of the day was just as relaxing.

Before we went to bed J smothered my ass with lotion, so it doesn't get dry or rough.

I am so spoiled and taken care of.

I love my life!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted to continue with the article of unknown origin that I have been summarizing and commenting on. (AG = Article Guy)

In the next section of his article AG says he spanks his wife daily. That's definitely not necessary for J and I. The 3 times a week schedule we have now seems to be working very well, and after awhile we will likely go to twice weekly, and maybe even down to once weekly. Every day seems extreme to me, but if that's what works for AG and his wife, then by all means they should continue with that.

I'd be interested in hearing what maintenance schedule works for other people.

A new kind of maintenance

For my Friday maintenance J decided to use a leather strap and a wooden ruler, in addition to his hand. Throughout the spanking he asked me to tell him what I wanted to accomplish and repeated to me that the three times a week maintenance has really been helping me. In fact I got my whole to do list finished every day this week. I was spanked a little bit harder and a bit longer today. J says it is to make sure I can remember it all weekend, since I won't be spanked again until Monday (unless I earn a punishment or something).

I do love that I feel a bit more motivated to get things done, but I've got to say my butt is sore! Three times a week is definitely a solid reminder of what I need to get done. The soreness doesn't really have time to go away, so I am being reminded every time I sit or move around in a way that brushes my undies against my ass.

Today is a perfect example of how it seems to be working for me. There was an item on my to do list that I was not particularly looking forward to. My first thought was that I will just put it off until tomorrow. The longer I sat here with my to do list staring at me, the more I felt that I really should get that thing done. One because I really didn't want to be spanked again on my already sore bottom. Also, I knew that J would be disappointed if I didn't complete my whole list today, especially after receiving 3 maintenance spankings. So I did it and now I feel happy that my list is completed!

We discussed something new tonight and that is pussy maintenance. We agreed a long time ago that I would never turn J down for sex, unless I am unwell or injured. The only reason I ever turn him down is pure laziness. I get to where I just "don't feel like it". When I do it anyway, I always end up enjoying it and having a great time. It ALWAYS feels good. So we decided that I would no longer be allowed to deny his advances. If/when I do J is supposed to spank my pussy as punishment. Then, sometime later in the day we would have sex. J likes to leave time in between punishment and sex so that the two don't get confused. He says the sex is not part of the punishment.

So, we were discussing how my three times weekly maintenance has been helping with my motivation; giving me the reminder I need of what the consequences will be for not completing my list. J said why not the same with pussy maintenance? It will be a reminder of what happens if I deny his advances. We haven't yet worked out a schedule, J might incorporate it into my already scheduled Mon/Wed/Fri maintenance spankings.

This afternoon, J instructed me into the bedroom. He laid me on my back and whipped my pussy with a riding crop, his hand, and a ruler. He didn't use much force, I think he was just trying to get the feel of how he's going to do this. He also whipped my breasts with the crop. It stung a bit, but he kept it fairly light. He spanked my pussy with varying levels of intensity, at first I found myself getting turned on. But once the intensity increased, I could feel the horniness fading away, and the seriousness of the punishment took its place. It wasn't really a punishment; it was more of a practice for what's to come.

At one point I started to whine a little bit, so J got the cock gag we have and placed it in my mouth. It's short, but very wide. My jaw instantly ached from it. I used to be able to hold that thing in my mouth for awhile, now it because painful after just a few minutes. I am WAY out of practice.

I think the pussy maintenance is promising and necessary to our fantastic sex life. When we first met, I was jumping J's bones constantly. Now I just feel lazy so often that I don't want to bother. I can't wait for that to change.

Hints of Submission

I remembered to show my list to J tonight when he got home from work. Normally something like that is no big deal, but as I was laying my list on his chair, I noticed I felt a little bit proud. Like I was doing something that I knew pleased J. It was just that little bit of submissive feeling coming through.

I used to feel hints of submission like that a lot more often. I think I will again as time goes on, if we can keep up with our version of DD.

Immediately after that I realized I am not due any spanking today. My initial emotional response was a slight bit of disappointment. Then I remembered how much my ass still hurt from the previous 2 days and my disappointment melted into relief.

I think it wasn't the spanking I wanted, as much as wanting to feel the way I feel before/during/after a spanking. It's a hard feeling to explain. I think it's partially knowing that when I get things accomplished and do what J wants me to do, I am the perfect wife. And I like that. It makes me happy. Also, during those moments it feel like my sole purpose is to please J and to serve him. And that his sole purpose is to love me and take care of me. Most of the time I like the way those things make me feel.

I'm sure once I am being spanked tomorrow during maintenance, I will be feeling differently. ha. ha.

**********************************

A few posts ago I mentioned a file I saved on my computer of an article or blog of unknown origin. I did a few searches on Google, but couldn't find the source. So I am just going to summarize and add my own thoughts about what he wrote.

The Article Guy (AG) starts out by saying discipline is like exercise. You can't just get to your goal weight and then stop. You have to maintain exercise and healthy diet or you will gain your weight back. It's the same with discipline. You have to keep up with it and be consistent, if you want it to be effective.

I absolutely believe this.

J and I have stopped and started our version of DD several times. When we don't keep up with it, it all falls apart (the discipline, not the relationship).

We have a fantastic relationship with or without our version of DD. But we find that with it, we are both more motivated, seem to have more energy, and have a lot more great sex! The only downside I can ever find with it is the time commitment it takes to be consistent.

We don't have anymore house guests planned until around the holidays. I'm hoping that is enough time to strengthen our routine enough to handle the interruption and be able to jump right back into it after the holidays.

I'll post more from the article in one of the next posts.

G'night all.

Two Days in a Row

I had forgotten what it is like to get spanked 2 days in a row. Ouch! J wasn't too hard on me tonight, but I had so much trouble not squirming and kicking up my legs. It hurt so much! I'm glad our regular maintenance will be every other day, and not multiple days in a row.

Earlier today when I was looking at my to do list, I kept thinking about being spanked and how much more it would hurt to have a punishment spanking than just a maintenance one. My list was definitely finished yesterday and is close to being finished today. I will have it completed before I go to bed. I did forget to show J my finished list when he got home from work today, but he let me slide on that, since we are still getting back into things.

It's definitely feeling like fall here, slowly turning into winter. Since it is so chilly tonight J let me put my pants back on, after I was released from the corner.

We likely won't have any play time tonight. J has an early business meeting to go to in the morning, so he'll be going to bed early.

No maintenance is scheduled for tomorrow and since my to do list will be finished, I likely won't be spanked again until Friday.

Back to routine

Our friends left late on Monday, so the maintenance J was promising me all weekend didn't happen at the previously scheduled time. Normally he would just leave it cancelled, which is what I expected would happen this time. Instead he told me it would be rescheduled for Tuesday.

I was wondering if J would forget about the rescheduled spanking, but he didn't. Tonight after work he made sure to take care of my maintenance spanking. I have another one schedule for tomorrow (Wed) and another one for Friday. We've never done 3 a week for multiple weeks before. I'm not sure how that frequency will work for us, yet, as we keep getting interrupted.

J wants me to start posting pictures and short video clips on the blog. I am pretty nervous about that. I am self conscious about my body for one thing, as I'm sure most women are. Also, it's going to be my red ass out there for the whole world to see.

J practiced tonight with different angles of the camera. This made for a spanking with more breaks than normal, to allow for camera adjustments, but I didn't mind. After my spanking, I was told to stand in the corner to think about what I needed to accomplish this week and what would happen if I didn't. I think I was only in the corner for about 3 minutes.

I haven't been permitted to wear pants since I was spanked tonight. So far the longest I've been denied any bottoms is 18 hours. Tonight it's only been 8 hours, so not too bad. I am allowed to wear pants after I get out of bed tomorrow morning. Since it is chilly tonight, J let me wear a robe, untied to keep warm.

We were talking earlier tonight about our good friends that were here this weekend. I sometimes wonder if they would have some interest in our version of DD. I would like it if they did. I always wish for someone to share this with.

A day between house guests

My brother left tonight. He and some of his friends are going to live in some little college town for awhile. We have one day to ourselves before our friends arrive on Friday.

Since I don't have much to update I thought I would do a book review of sorts of a book I just finished.

The Compleat Spanker by Lady Green

The Compleat Spanker is a very thin book, and a quick read that might be useful to a true beginner to spanking. The focus is mainly on erotic spankings. Lady Green discusses various common spanking implements, talks about why people spank, safety issues, and gives etiquette advice for spanking parties. I read the first couple chapters and then skimmed through the rest. I was hoping for something more in depth than a basic intro to spanking.

Quick Discipline

My brother went out tonight for several hours, which gave J and I some alone time. We were laying on the bed, catching up from our day. J mentioned my list and that he hadn't checked it because my brother was here, but that this break in our version of DD would end as soon as we did not have house guests.

Without another word, J reached over and slapped my left boob. Then my right. Back and forth a few times.

He spread my legs with his hands and started spanking my pussy. I kept closing my legs, so he took that trade show ruler and put it between my legs, sideways, so that I could not close my legs. He stung my pussy with his slaps, then told me to roll over on my stomach. I got a hand and ruler spanking.

When it was over J made me stay in the bedroom for a few more minutes. He was not comfortable with me in the corner, because it's in the hallway, and Brother could be home at any minute.

He usually only spanks my pussy when i deny his sexual advances, which wasn't the case tonight. I think he was just showing a bit of his domination over me. And I liked it.

J said it was important I got some discipline, even if it was abbreviated. He does not want me to forget what we are doing.

I don't know how people practice any sort of DD with kids around. Having my adult brother interfered with our privacy enough. I can't imagine someone being completely dependent on me being in the house.

Visitors

I finally have a chance to update. Our house guest is out with some friends, so I figured I'd get some blogging in while I have the chance. I do love my brother, but he sometimes acts like he's still in college (he's in his late 30's), and it seems like it falls on me to take care of him.

So last week I was wondering if J read the blog. Well it turns out he hadn't.

On Friday he came into the kitchen when I was making dinner and said, "I just read your blog." He also said, "I didn't know you updated it recently." He told me he checks every once in awhile, but hadn't looked in about 2 weeks, until that night. So I guess we were just feeling the same urges.

He's on board with trying our version of DD again.

J told me I am going to have maintanence spankings 3 times a week at least for a couple of weeks. He agrees that I need some training.

However, right away we hit a road block, because my brother is staying here. We don't have any real privacy with him here. He is supposed to be gone by this weekend, but we have friends who are coming to stay with us for a long weekend. This was planned long before I knew my brother was coming. And it's friends we don't get to see often, so I don't want to cancel.

So we can't really do anything until after Halloween. I'm hoping we can get started again and don't stall out like we have often done.

Brother is still here...

...and everytime I come into the office to check my email (or blog), he says, "Oh yeah, good idea, " and follows me with his laptop. So he's always over my shoulder.

I will update more when I can.

Spanked again??

Tonight around 4:45 I got a text from J asking me if I had finished my list from yesterday. There were a few things I didn't get to, so I replied and told him "not all of it". His text back to me had the following words "Be in the bedroom with your pants off when I get home." Yikes.

I just got spanked yesterday and J has scheduled another maintenance for tomorrow. I wasn't really planning on being spanked today, too!

When he got home I was waiting in the bedroom. I usually greet him at the door, so I felt awkward waiting for him alone in another room. He came into the bedroom, kissed me, and then guided me onto the bed, face down.

He said everyday after work he wants to see my list, and if anything is not completed, we will deal with it immediately. He also mentioned that if it's a maintenance day, I will be spanked twice.

After my lecture, he used his hand and that stupid ruler thing from the trade show to spank me. I thought the spanking was hard and thorough, but J later said it was neither.

After I was spanked, J told me to stand in the corner. That is probably my least favorite thing. I get bored just standing there. Today he put my list in front of my face and had me hold it there while I was in the corner. My mind still drifted.

J seems to be stepping back into his role, and I am trying to step back into mine. I am back and forth with wanting to be spanked and not. Is that common with any of you?

I really like being held accountable. I am sometimes worried that it puts too much pressure on J, though.

We had some fantastic sex tonight, which is always a nice side effect of our version of DD.

Tomorrow is another maintenance day. But the good news is, my to do list is finished for today!

Maybe he is reading the blog...

I'm thinking maybe J is reading the blog and just not mentioning it. Either that or we are just feeling the same way right now.

We had our 6pm appointment, which, as I suspected included me getting spanked. Right at 6, he told me to go into our bedroom. He came in a few seconds later and told me to strip from the waist down.

Once he had me face down on the bed, he alternated spanking me with his hand and with this ruler thing we got for free at a recent Trade show. It's made of thin wood and it's very light, which makes it sting-y.

I wasn't spanked for very long, J noticed outloud that my butt was "out of practice". During the spanking J said he thinks things are better around our house when I have regular maintenance. So we are going back to that. I don't know what our regular schedule will be, but this week we're doing it on Thursday.

J said he hopes one of these times we start our version of DD it will stick. It's much better when I'm motivated.

I didn't say this to him, because I sometimes feel like I'm trying to control things from the "bottom" and I don't want to do that, but I feel like I need some training. I am out of practice and half of me wants to fight this. But the other half of me likes things better when I am not so lazy. I love having my To Do list done every day with time to spare for fun. I just can't seem to accomplish that on my own, with no real consequences if I don't get things done.

I think after awhile J will be able to be lenient again because I will be more interested in getting things done, I'll be "better trained". I am afraid that I need J to be strict beyond his comfort level. I'm also afraid that he will focus too much on the submission part (especially sexually) because that's the part he likes best. But I really need the discipline, too. I think.

The thing I think I need is also the thing that makes me the most nervous. Are you other spankos that way too?

After my spanking and lecture, J had me stand in the corner. I had my shirt on the whole time, with only my jeans and underwear off, and he had me remain that way. I was supposed to think about everything J said about starting back up with maintenance, receiving discipline, and resuming my submissive role once again.

I was only in the corner for about 5 minutes, and my mind kept drifting most of that time. So I didn't really get to focus on what J wanted me to. I guess that's sort of what I'm doing now.

After the corner, I was sitting in a chair, across from J, still naked from the waist down. He spread my legs open with his legs and held them open. I felt so completely exposed. He didn't do anything, just looked at me.

He eventually let me put my underwear back on, but I am still pantsless.

My brother is coming to stay with us, for I don't know how long. He says 1 night, but that could mean 2 weeks. So I don't know if that's going to kill this attempt at our version of DD before it even starts. We will see.

Hints

I've been hinting around to J that I need to be spanked. I think he must have gotten it because he gave me a few swats last night before he went to bed, due to my whining & scowling. He also told me that we will have an "appointment" tonight at 6. That usually means I am going to get a spanking. He mentioned that my attitude hasn't been great lately.

I showed J my to do list last night, which is something I haven't done in awhile. He didn't request it, I just asked him if he wanted to see it. He did and he told me to make sure everything on it is done before I come to bed. There was one item on there that he mentioned should have been completed before he got home from work. But then he added that since I had a busy day, he would let that one slide.

I sometimes wish he wouldn't do that. On the one hand I like that he's lenient, because then when I really don't feel like doing something I can pretty much get out of it. But on the other hand I feel like it's not really effective that way. I sometimes think I need J to be strict and not let me get away with anything. But he's so busy with work, that might put too much pressure on him. I'm just going to wait and see how it plays out.

I found a file I had saved on my computer that reflects how I feel things should be, most of the time (I waver back and forth). I don't want to post it because I don't know the source and I don't want to violate anyone's copyright. If I can't find the source in the next few days, I will try to summarize it in my own words.

We're still here!

Hello friends.

We are still alive! J and I spent the summer traveling, and spanking & discipline have been on the back burner. I haven't really missed it, mostly because we've been so busy spending time with friends. I haven't had much real responsibility, so there were rare times where a spanking would have even been necessary.

We've been home for a few weeks now and the past couple of days I have been starting to feel like I need to be spanked. I have gotten very lax in my day to day chores. It's like I am still on vacation. We have been ordering out a lot, because I can't even get motivated enough to make dinner some days. I feel like these are things I should be spanked for, even though I dread the thought of how it would feel.

I keep thinking about it and in some ways I am craving J to start up my spankings again. But I start to feel like it will only work if he is super strict to start out and not let me get away with anything. But then I think about it more and I feel like I would get angry by J being that strict with me. I think I lose some of the benefit when he's lenient, but it's much less scary for me.

He did spank me today with a very light ruler. It was just a few swats and was more playful than serious. Because my ass is like virgin again, it really hurt and I immediately felt like I didn't want any spankings at all. So it's a toss up.

I'm sort of hoping J will just make the decision and do whatever he thinks needs to be done.

Surprise Spanking

J and I have gotten far away from spanking and discipline. Nothing is amiss in our relationship; it's a combination of being busy and being too tired.

But tonight J came up behind me in the bedroom and gently guided me over his knee. He pulled down my pants and underwear and gave me a quick and fairly mild hand spanking.

My butt was especially stingy afterwards; I haven't been spanked in a long time and all the sensitivity had returned.

Neither of us really said anything afterwards. J is definitely missing the discipline. I'm not so sure I am.

Playful

The nice weather has J and I feeling frisky.  I've been playfully spanked in an erotic sort of way a few times recently, but have had no maintenence or punishment spankings.  

I've been pretty good about finishing my lists every day, but J and I haven't been reviewing them at night.  I'm ok with it for now.  I imagine at some point I'll be asking to be spanked again.

That's all for now. 

Thanks for reading.

Been a long time

J and I have had a lot of recent issues that have kept us from our maintenence schedule.  Some have been health related, some family related, and some laziness related

Things have settled down, but J and I are having some trouble getting back into a regular schedule.

I'm still completing my to do lists everyday, and coming to bed on time.  But there have been no spakings for several weeks.  I have been resistent to starting again, which has happened in the past.

I'm not really sure what to do, and neither is J.  He doesn't want to push.  And I don't want to resent the lifestyle.

So for now we're just not doing anything.

I'll keep you posted.

Back on track?

J and I didn't have much trouble getting back into the swing of things on Monday. Or I should say J didn't have much trouble. I haven't been overly resistant or anything, but I'm just not feelin it this week. I haven't really been thinking about the spankings and when J tells me it's time, I just don't feel like doing it.

Monday's spanking was not so bad; J wanted to ease back into things. But it still hurt a lot. My butt hadn't been spanked in something like 2 weeks. Wednesday's spanking was a lot harder and I was still sore on Thursday. I was also sent to the corner before the spanking, which J hadn't done for awhile. I hate standing there. I feel so restless.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a substitute spanker for when J can't do it. I wonder if it would help keep me from falling back into pure laziness when J is not around. But unfortunately none of our friends or family would be able to fill that role.

We're alive!

We're both feeling better. Thanks for all the comments and emails.

After we were sick for a week, J went on a business trip and was gone for another week. It's been really hard to get back into the swing of things. There has been no spanking and the rules have been lax since J's been home. I've even been staying up WAY past my bedtime!

He told me tonight that next week we will be starting back up with spankings 3 times a week, and bedtime and other rules will be back in effect. Yikes!

One good thing is that I've been keeping up with my chores, even without the spankings. Yay me!

Update

J and I have been sick for the past week, so all activities have been put on hold.  We are just starting to feel better, but J is about to leave on a business trip.  I'm hoping when all is back to "normal" we can get back to the regular spankings.

In the meantime, I'll work on getting healthy again.

Anticipation

Sometimes, when I'm sitting here, waiting for a spanking, I can feel the anticipation building. I know that I am going to be spanked when J gets home from work. He will be home in less than an hour. I know I won't be able to talk my way out of it or somehow otherwise distract J from his task.

Depending on my mood, I sometimes feel turned on by the anticipation. Other times I feel irritated and grumpy. And other times I feel thankful and well taken care of. Overall, this spanking schedule we've been keeping has had a positive affect on us. So no matter what kind of mood I'm in, I submit to the spanking.

...LATER...

So I'm writing this part after having just been spanked. J tells me I'm doing great with my errands/chores. I've been making a daily to do list and have completed it every day. I'm also doing well with not using that tone that J hates. I've been coming to bed on time each night, too. But the one thing I haven't been so great with is being submissive (both sexually and not). J really wants to work on that this week.

It's not that I'm completely unsubmissive, I just have had a low sex drive and have been a bit on the grumpy side lately. Part of it is laziness and part of it is letting myself get back out of shape again. I always feel crappy when I don't exercise regularly. So that's the other thing J brought up tonight. He wants me to start going back to the gym. And he decided that he'll go with me to get himself in better shape, too. He says if I don't go, he won't go either, (although if I don't go, I'll get spanked!).

J is in the garage right now putting a final stain on the ruler. My punishment for not being submissive is a spanking on my pussy with the ruler. It's a heavy wooden ruler that J sanded and stained, so it will look nice and not leave any splinters or anything. We haven't actually used it yet, though it's come up in conversation a bunch of times over the past couple of weeks.

I'm a little nervous about the ruler. I've never been spanked on my pussy other than for play. I've never had an actual frontal punishment. I know it is supposed to hurt, and that's what makes me nervous. I think I'm going to be seeing a lot of this ruler in the near future.

If this posting (and my other postings) seems choppy, it's because sometimes I write things throughout the day, as I think of them. I wait to post them until I have some time to type them all out into the blog.

Thanks for reading!

Starting a new week (and a new year!)

Friday's spanking was pretty intense. I guess I've been a bit grumpy lately and J hates that. He used the middle sized round paddle and he spanked me hard. Friday spankings are usually a bit more intense because I usually go the whole weekend without any scheduled spankings and J wants to make sure I don't forget it by the end of the weekend.

On Saturday we met some friends for brunch. These are some of J's friends that I don't really like to be around. Last time we got together with them, J spanked me before we left, just as a reminder to behave. I half expected him to do the same this time, but he didn't. I managed to behave myself anyway. It wasn't so bad, because it was only brunch, which was pretty quick. It wasn't like when we get together for dinner and it lasts hours and hours.

Well, we're just about ready to start a new week. I'm going to try to get myself in a better mood so I don't get into trouble! I need to find some motivation, too, so I can make sure to get all of my tasks/chores/errands completed on time.