Why domestic discipline is not domestic violence.

I recently read this blog post by Natty over at The Punishment Book about why domestic discipline is not domestic violence.

I like how the post points out very clearly how the two are not even remotely connected. The biggest, most glaring difference is consent. There is no consent with abuse, and it is largely based on manipulation. With DD there is consent and honesty. At least there is in our household.

If you have a minute, go read Natty's great post on the subject.

The whole blog

I just re-read the whole blog from the beginning. It was interesting to see what I was feeling a couple of years ago. I'm happy J and I have been able to progress in this aspect of our relationship. We're both much better at it now, especially the consistency part of it. I give J all the credit for that. He has not let us slide back into laziness when it comes to our spanking schedule and other aspects of our version of DD. I'm not sure it will ever sound "normal" for me to say I have a spanking schedule.

Even with the spankings, I sometimes find myself sitting here staring at my list, feeling lazy, wondering if it would be worth it just to get spanked. At the end of every day it seems like I have that one thing on my to do list that I just do not feel like doing. I think to myself, "I could just not do it." But then I think of how it feels to be spanked as a punishment. Most of the time, I ultimately complete my to do list. Maybe that means the reminder spankings are working.

Bent over the chair

Tonight was just like any other night when I decided to ask J, "Are we having our appointment today?"

He looked over at me, surprised, "Why wouldn't we?"

"I don't know. I just don't feel like it."

Without hesitation J commanded, "Stand up."

I did as instructed.

J guided me over the chair, pulled my pants down and started spanking with quick, sharp swats. After just a few minutes, he pulled my pants back up and stood me up again.

He then told me to get on my knees, which I did quickly. He guided my head down to his cock. After he came, he told me we could cancel the reminder spanking.

I guess that was one way to tell me. ha. ha.

Submissive Journal Prompts

I've been having some trouble coming up with things to write about. I feel like I'm writing about the same spanking over and over. So, I did some searching online for some ideas awhile back and I came across this site. I forgot about it until today when I was going through some old bookmarks. It's called Submissive Journal Prompts: http://www.submissiveguide.com/journalprompts/

The prompt today is about blogging and it says this: "If you have an online blog, this would be a good week to reintroduce yourself to your readers." So that's what I thought I would do.

My name is Cassady and I'm a spanko. I've had an interest in spanking for as long as I can remember, but it was always a sexual thing. Over the years I've been able to find tons of information, thanks to the Internet, about spanking, different lifestyles, BDSM, DD, and many other things that interest me. When I met J he had never spanked anyone. He is a gentle soul, and I was afraid he wouldn't be able to step into any sort of dominant role. But if you've been reading this blog you know he is a natural.

We've taken aspects from different schools of thought, and have found things we really like and that work well for us. We have stopped and started trying to live our own version of DD many times. Somehow it seems like we stop for a specific reason (house guests, illness, laziness, etc.) and never start back up again. But we are both happier when we could keep up with it. This last time we started, we both decided we would make a commitment to make it a priority. And so far that's been working out great.

I get regular spankings 3 times a week. We usually call them reminder spankings because the purpose is to remind me to finish my to-do list every day, stay motivated, and submit to J. It also reminds me what the consequences are of not doing those things. I also get weekly pussy spankings. This further aids in my submissiveness.

This is all done with my permission and at my request. J is so very loving and attentive, I could never dream of someone else I'd want to be married to. And he cares enough to discipline me when I need it.

Feel free to introduce yourself in the comments or send me an email.

Pussy Punishment

J and I had a very nice, relaxing weekend where we got to spend a lot of time just being together. There was one point where I was a bit of a brat and wouldn't expose my tits when J asked. He reminded me that was a no no and asked if I wanted my pussy spanked. Of course I said no.

Since he didn't spank me right then, I figured the incident had been forgotten about, but tonight after my regular reminder spanking, J told me to flip over onto my back. He reminded me that I was due a punishment spanking on my pussy for refusing him this weekend.

He whipped my pussy with a small strap, while lecturing me on whose pussy it is and how I agreed to submit to him. This was my first pussy punishment and I thought it would be a lot worse. When I get my ass spanked for punishment it's way worse than a reminder spanking. But the pussy punishment was not nearly as bad as the weekly reminders I get. Although at one point he spread my lips wide and was spanking directly on my clit. That hurt a lot.

J then started using his thumb to play with my clit during the spanking. He was doing both at the same time. I asked him why he was making me feel good, when it was supposed to hurt, but he said I shouldn't tell him how to play with his toy. He's right, so I didn't object further. Overall it felt more like a game than a serious spanking.

He didn't let me cum at that time, and the spanking didn't last very long. When it was over, we cuddled for a few minutes. It always feels so right being in his arms.

I'm quite happy with the way we've been progressing and keeping up with our version of DD. Every other time we've tried it, we ended up stopping and months would go by before we'd start again. J has been great about maintaining consistency and a level of strictness. He doesn't let me get away with much. For the most part I get my things done every day and don't get punished very often. And that definitely feels good.

Many implements

I came into the bedroom and saw all of these implements laying out on the bed.



I knew tonight I was going to be spanked on my ass and also on my pussy. For various reasons that seemed to happen one right after the other, it has been a long time since I've had my pussy spanked.

I was first told to lay on my stomach. J sat next to me on the bed and began to spank me with his hand. He switched on and off with the strap, ruler, and other implements pictured above. At one point he spanked each cheek hard, very quickly, one right after the other. It seemed to go on forever. My ass was on fire.

We discussed the usual topics during the spanking. The reasons for the spanking, understanding the rules and consequences, if these reminder spankings help me get things done, and what I need to do to avoid punishment.

Once that was over he had me flip onto my back. He started right in, using his hand at first. He also used one of the small leather slappers. J lectured me more than usual tonight during my pussy spanking. He was very stern. I felt like he was in a very strict mode and I also felt like he would not abuse that role and he would take care of me. He thoroughly spanked my pussy and lips. He even spanked inside my lips, on the very sensitive part. He used the ruler on my pussy and also on my nipples. It stung and I know I squirmed a lot.

I feel very submissive immediately after a pussy spanking. I guess that's the idea. Thing is, it wears off pretty quickly. The submissive feeling. Not totally, but mostly.

Tonight, right after my spanking, J did an inspection of my pussy. He checked to make sure there were no marks or bruising. I feel so exposed when he does his examinations.

He then started playing with my clit. At one point I asked him to move his thumb to a different position. He asked me if I was trying to tell him how to play with his toy. And he said, "Didn't we just talk about whose toy this is?" Yes, yes, we did.

I was close to cuming, but he stopped and said that wasn't the time for that. I hopped in the shower and thought about finishing myself off, but I wasn't sure if I should. We have no set rule about me cuming. Generally I just cum whenever I want. So I thought I would wait and mention it later. When I did J said I could use my favorite toy tonight to come before I go to bed. I am looking forward to that. I couldn't wait though. Just a little while ago I used my hand while still in the office. I just couldn't wait for the release.

Velcro Underwear

I was punished again today for not completing an item on my to do list. It's nearly always the same item - not practicing my guitar. I really do want to play the guitar, I just hate the practicing and learning part. I get so frustrated when I can do it perfectly right away. So I didn't do it yesterday and J spanked me for it. I got several really hard swats with the strap before he continued spanking me for my regular reminder spanking. At one point J pulled my ass cheek to one side and spanked the inner part. I can't recall if he's ever done that before. It stung!

I worked on an interesting project today. Awhile back I read somewhere that a man made his wife wear underwear with velcro on the inside anytime she received a spanking. Mostly it was for when she got spanked as a reminder right before they went out somewhere, she'd wear this special underwear so that anytime she moved, the rough part of the velcro rubbed on her already hurting ass. It was to serve as a constant reminder throughout the night.

Well I've never seen any velcro underwear for sale anywhere, so J asked me to make some. I took a pair of my own underwear and bought enough velcro to cover the back part AND the front part. This was also J's idea. That way when I am required to wear it, it will rub on my ass and my pussy. I just finished it today, so I haven't had a chance to wear it yet. I'm hoping I don't have to wear it for a long time, because it looks very uncomfortable. When I am eventually required to wear it, I'll be sure to blog about it.

Punished Again!

I don't know what it is with me, but anytime there is anything different in my schedule (like J gets home from work early, or I am not here when he gets home, etc.) I forget to show him my completed to do list.

I forgot again today and J had to ask me for it. After I showed him the list, he reminded me that I am to show him the list every day when he gets home from work. He led me into the bedroom, pulled my pants down, and had me lay on my stomach on the bed.

We recently got some new implements and J decided to use this new one today:



It's essentially just a belt sewn together at the end. J says it gives him a good amount of control when he swings it.

It feels just like any other belt and it stings. I felt more defiant today, and slightly irritated. It's sometimes hard to see what the big deal is. My list was all finished, so that should be that. But J's point is that he doesn't know it's done if he doesn't see it, with everything all checked off.

The spanking wasn't very long, but he lectured me the whole time. He finished up with a few really hard swats to my ass with his hand. Then it was over.

Tomorrow I will remember...

The Scorpion's Sweet Venom

I have been feeling unwell again, so J and I have not been playing at all. I have been getting my regular reminder spankings, but even they have been brief. I am anxious to get over this sinus infection, and severe skin dryness, and cramps, and get back to our regular fun!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days ago I mentioned a book I was reading "The Scorpion's Sweet Venom" by Bruna Surfistinha. It was a quick read and I just finished it last night.

The book starts with some background info about Raquel, the author. She's adopted and her family is wealthy. She is constantly seeking to push limits and find adventure. She doesn't exactly feel love from her family and at 17 decides to go out on her own. She very willingly becomes a prostitute and lives by her own rules.

She takes on the name Bruna, and in the book she switches between her reality as Raquel and her reality as Bruna.

She is successful at her job and mostly enjoys her work. She makes interesting observations about her clients. She decides to start a blog as an outlet and it becomes very popular, landing her in magazine and television interviews.

She gives a lot of pointers in her book about what people really want sexually but are too afraid to ask their partners.

She sets a financial goal for herself and when she reaches it, her plan is to get out of prostitution and go back to school for psychology. She seems to be very strong and level headed.

She does meet her goals and leaves prostitution. Her plan was to keep up with her blog, but it is an invalid link, now, so I guess she didn't.

I wouldn't call it a great book, but it was very interesting and I would recommend it to anyone who has an interest in her story. I like the way she seems so sure of herself, even when she's faced with an unsure situation. She seems to be easily able to separate sex and love, which is something I can appreciate.

Forgotten List

I again forgot to show J my completed to-do list on Friday. I don't know why I keep forgetting. This is the 3rd time. I didn't remember until I was already bent over on the bed, with my pants off for my regular Friday reminder spanking.

J said, "Did you forget to do something today?"

At first I didn't know what he was talking about. And then it dawned on me!
I quietly said, "I didn't show you my list."

I got a short lecture and 4 really hard swats with the strap, in addition to my regular reminder spanking. During the lecture J told me he wanted me to journal about forgetting to show him my list, when I get spanked for it, why, and how I felt.

I don't know if he meant for me to do it on the blog or not, but that's where I'm doing it.

January 29th - Today I was spanked because I forgot to show J my to do list.
I felt shocked at first, I was in disbelief that I had forgotten anything. I've been really good at finishing my list. But once I realized I had forgotten to show J, I felt disappointed in myself. I had forgotten again. J asks me how will he know if I have completed my list or not unless I show it to him?

The spanking hurt and I may have yelped once or twice, but I didn't cry. I never do. J led me to the corner and told me to stand there and think about how I'm going to remember to show him my list every day. I'm still not sure exactly how I'm going to remember, but I hope I do!

Later in the evening I made the mistake of whining. J abhors whining. He always tells me he will find something else to put in my mouth. So after about 30 seconds of whining, I found myself on my knees with J's dick in my mouth. He's done this before and usually only has me suck him off for a few minutes, but last night he had me suck him until he came. In the past he has also made me wear a cock gag for whining. He really doesn't like to hear whining.

J has been on a toy buying spree the past week or so. He ordered a bunch of new stuff. The skirt is the only thing that has arrived so far. We are waiting on several slapper type paddles, and some other stuff. I'll post pictures as things arrive.

I'm not quite sure what he's up to with the new toys, but the theme seems to be "things to slap my pussy with". A lot of these new toys are things that will make me feel very submissive and that's something J has been paying a bit more attention to, lately. I feel like I might be headed for a bit of sub-type training in the near future. I am partially excited and partially terrified. I sometimes get very anxious if I feel that I'm not in control. But once I get past that, it's something that makes me feel good in the end.

Not having had my pussy spanked in so long; I am really feeling like something is missing. Not like there's some big flaw in our relationship or anything...more like the very deep level we connect on is just slightly less deep. It's due to some girlie issues I've been having that have prevented us from playing much and I think that's really what I'm missing. Hopefully I will be back to normal soon.

New skirt!

Do you ever say you need a spanking, and then once you're being spanked you realize you were completely wrong and you didn't need a spanking after all? That's how I felt today. I think J is feeling back into the swing of things this week, as my spanking felt more real than it has for awhile.

J ordered a skirt for me to wear once the weather gets warmer. I think he will have me wear it when I am doing certain household tasks, or maybe after spankings, I'm not sure yet. Here is a picture of it.



I started reading the book I mentioned the other night - The Scorpion's Sweet Venom. I am only a few pages in, but so far I like it. She writes as 2 people - her real self and her prostitute self. I like the way she uses a different font for each story.

I Need a spanking

I'm glad it's Monday. My spanking schedule has been intermittent for the past couple of weeks. I've been sick off and on, and for some reason I always felt worse after a spanking. So J stopped them for all of last week. And pussy spankings haven't happened in 2 or 3 weeks.

I'm feeling mostly better now, so I am getting a spanking tonight. And I really feel like I need one. One day last week I didn't complete my to do list. I just didn't really care about it. Partly it was because I wasn't feeling well and partly it was because I knew there'd be no immediate consequence. At the time J did say we will discuss it next week.

I hate admitting that I *need* to be spanked, but my motivation slips away so quickly without regular physical reminders. I keep thinking that one of these days we will decrease the reminder spankings to maybe 2 days a week or maybe even once a week, like we once did. But it seems like as long as 3 days a week keep working, J is going to stick with that schedule.

I probably won't get a pussy spanking this week, but those will resume next week. I am feeling like I need one of those too. I haven't felt very submissive or sexual lately. Again it's partly because I am unwell, but it's also because we haven't had that connection in awhile. J has mentioned that he can tell I am in need of one.

I just got a new book. It's called "The Scorpion's Sweet Venom: The Diary of a Brazilian Call Girl" by Bruna Surfistinha. Part memoir, part cautionary tale, part sex guide, Bruna brings to life the raw, desperate and dangerous underbelly of the Brazilian sex trade, and shares outrageous advice for the bedroom, like what men really want but are too afraid to ask. Provocative, seductive and unforgettable, The Scorpion’s Sweet Venom is the vivid account of a young girl’s life on the street, and a fearless expression of human sexuality.

I'll post a review after I read it. Anyone else reading anything?

Motivation & Consequences

J and I talked about consequences tonight. Well he mostly talked (and spanked) and I mostly listened. J asked me if I feel more motivated. I'm not sure motivated is the right word, but I definitely make sure my things are done every day.

I notice that when I'm thinking about not completing my to do list, my first thought is that I know I'll get spanked for it. I say things to myself like, "It won't be so bad." But I've not yet had a punishment spanking since the most recent time we started our version of DD. I know the maintenance spankings are pretty bad, I don't really want to know what a more severe spanking would be like.

Ultimately I decide to complete my list and not find out what a punishment spanking would be like.

I haven't had any corner time in a few weeks. The corner we normally use has been occupied by some boxes of stuff that we need to move to storage. So J has been skipping that part. I can't say I feel any differently about things without the corner time. I know it's supposed to be time to reflect, but I usually just stand there, bored and wondering how much longer I have to stand there. So I haven't missed it.

Since we are talking about corner time, I thought I would comment on another section from the article of unknown origin. (AG = Article Guy)

AG is a big fan of corner time. He requires his wife to be nude while in the corner, which is essentially what J does. Although J does let me wear a robe (untied) if I am chilly.

AG says the minimum amount of corner time should be 10-15 minutes for maintenance, and 20-30 for punishments. J usually only makes me stand in the corner for 5 minutes or less. I get bored standing there and usually my mind drifts to other things that aren't related to the spanking I just received.

AG's reasoning for the length of time is that he says there are cycles of thought. He says his wife might first go through boredom and anger, and only after that will she be able to focus on what got her put in the corner. I definitely get the boredom thing, but I'm not sure I'd ever feel angry.

AG says it is "more effective if you physically place your wife in the corner". I would agree with that. There's something more dominant about J leading me to and placing me in the corner. The same with removing me from the corner when my time is up.

I'm sure if I was getting a punishment spanking, J would require me to stand in the corner for a longer period of time. But let's hope I don't find out anytime soon!

I hope you all have a good weekend and try not to get in trouble!

Submission

I really notice a difference in my submission level when I am pussy spanked. It had been a few weeks since the last one and I've felt a little more disconnected in the submission part of my relationship with J.

But after Wednesday's spanking, I feel more of a desire to please J and I feel somehow more...protected? I don't know if that's the right word to use. I guess there's a sort of security feeling I get when J is taking care of me. And when I know J is filling my needs, I'm more wanting to fill his.

The spanking itself was relatively mild compared to others I've had. I've been having some dry skin troubles around my legs, and J was careful not to spank there (he sometimes spanks my inner thighs when I'm receiving a pussy spanking). But it still had the desired effect.

Sometimes when J spreads my lips and spanks, I am afraid it will hurt so much that I won't be able to handle it. But every time J knows just how to do it perfectly, and he never damages me, physically or emotionally. It's an amazing feeling to be able to put that much trust in someone.

After 2 weeks of no spankings

Due to the holidays I went about 2 weeks with no spankings. The first one after the break was on Monday. My ass is so sensitive after not being spanked for that long! It's like virgin skin. Because of the spankings on Monday (and again on Wednesday), plus the cold, dry air, I'm getting terrible dry skin. I hate that! J has been putting lots of lotion on my butt, I hope it helps.

Both spankings this week were pretty straightforward. We are struggling a bit to get back into a routine, plus we've both been busier than normal. J has been really great about making it work.

We had our very bestest friends over during Christmas. We don't get to see them often, because they live far away, so we were happy to get to spend some time with them. J and I have discussed telling them about our version of DD. I'd love to be able to share it with someone we are close to. But at the same time, I'm afraid they wouldn't understand. I always find it interesting when I read about people who have families that all participate in DD and similar things. I sometimes wish I had that kind of family. Or at least some friends that shared in our activities.

My New Year's Resolution is to do a better job of keeping up with this blog and post more pictures!

Happy New Year!

Holidays

I haven't had much time to post, lately. We've had houseguests and I've been baking and shopping, getting ready for Christmas. That's not likely to change between now and the new year.

Just wanted to say Happy Holidays to everyone here from Cassady and Jack!

Does anyone feel tired after being spanked?

I've been noticing that sometimes after J has spanked me I feel so sleepy. Does this happen to anyone else? I don't know if it's something hormonal or if it's emotional, or maybe a little of both.

Wednesday was what we've been calling maintenance plus. That's a spanking, plus a pussy spanking.

Since I again forgot to show J my to do list when he got home from work, he immediately gave me two intense swats with the strappy thing. (The one I posted a picture of a few days ago.) OUCH!

He then proceeded to spank me, alternating between his hand, the strap, and the trade show ruler. We discussed my motivation and how I wasn't as motivated last week. He reminded me that I should be thinking about the consequences even on my off days.

J told me to flip over for the plus portion of Wednesday's maintenance. He started off with a bare minimum of warm up swats with his hand. It's a pretty intense experience for me. J is normally such a softie, but when he is taking the lead he is so...strong...and controlled. I love to hear him using his commanding voice. When he says, "Who's pussy is this?" And I reply, "It's yours." It just does something to me. I love giving myself to him.

I started thinking about how I'm feeling a combination of love, warmth, being taken care of, being able to give myself so completely to J, I feel his strength, but I'm also feeling pain. During all of this he's still spanking my pussy with his hand and the smooth ruler. He isn't gentle. He uses one hand to spread me open and the other to spank the very sensitive inside part of my lips. J also uses the ruler on my nipples. He is a fan of the short, sharp swats. The ones that sting!

Whatever it is we're doing with our version of DD, it seems to be working. We're definitely not perfect, but we both feel this way is a positive thing in our lives. So we'll stick with it for now.

Thanksgiving and getting back into the routine

Our DD activities kind of fell apart last week with the holidays; having houseguests and later being houseguests. We had a great time celebrating with friends and family, though.

As I was making up my weekly to do list on Sunday, J told me to make sure I had our 3 appointments on there. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. With the Wednesday one including a pussy spanking. I didn't get that last week and even though I don't like it, I still missed it.

It's incredible to me how much being held accountable does for me. This past week I barely got the things done I needed to do. It was a real struggle for me. It was almost like I knew there would be no consequences, so I didn't make the effort. It's just so much easier to be lazy and focus my attention elsewhere.

We were watching The Biggest Loser on our DVR over the weekend, and I found myself wondering: If those people had consequences like spanking, would they be more inclined to exercise/eat right? I'd like to see Bob and Jillian with a paddle!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is some more from the article of unknown origin that I have been commenting on. (AG = Article Guy)

Another thing the AG talks about is Grounding. This is one of those areas that I am conflicted about. When I honestly think about it, there are times when I spend too much time on the computer, and shirk my responsibilities. That seems like an offense ideal for grounding.

But would I get angry and resent J for grounding me? Or would I ignore the grounding? I'm not really sure as I've never actually been grounded, for real. AG restricts his wife from TV, Internet, phone, and leaving the house when she is grounded. The length of time depends on her offense. Anywhere from several hours to several days. I can't even imagine being restricted from doing something I want to do for several days.

AG says grounding is very effective on his wife, and that he doesn't have to do it often. If J decides I need to be grounded at some point, I will be sure to blog about how I dealt with it.

No warm up

(This blog post was from last Monday, I just forgot to post it!)

J started right in with that awful strap tonight. No warm up or anything! Partly it was because Mondays are the start of a new week and I hadn't been spanked all weekend. The other part was because I forgot to show him my to-do list when he got home from work.

He says if I don't show it to him, how does he know it's completed? He will just assume it is not, if I don't show it to him.

So I got a few extra (and hard!) swats with the strap while J was lecturing me.

It was almost unbearable. I was sort of in and out of sub space. When he said "Last 10, count out loud," I didn't think I was going to be able to do it. It's the closest I've ever come to crying from a spanking.

I will definitely remember to show him my list tomorrow!

Wednesday's Implements

I thought I would try posting a picture of the implements J used today. I've never put a picture on a blog before, I hope it works!

The top one, in this picture, I call the strappy thing. It's leather and heavy. The strap is about 3"-4" wide. It feels stingy and thudy at the same time. It definitely gets my attention!

The one at the bottom of the picture used to be a ruler that J sanded down very smooth. He also rounded the edges and put a layer of finish on it. It's a nice pretty piece of solid wood when I'm not being spanked with it!

J used the ruler on my pussy tonight. Last week we started pussy maintenance, which J decided we would do on Wednesdays. This is in addition to my regular ass spankings, that I'm still getting three times a week.

Wednesdays are a little strange for me. After my ass gets spanked it feels like it's going to over, but then I have to flip over to get the rest of the maintenance.

We've both been pretty pleased at how well it's working this time. I feel a little bit more motivated, my to-do lists have been finished every day, and J says I've been more submissive to him.

I'm trying to get started back into my gym routine this week. I hope I can stay motivated enough to keep going regularly.

Well, if I don't, I know what will happen!

My first pussy maintenance

I received my first pussy maintenance tonight. J decided we will do this once a week as part of our maintenance schedule.

He arranged me on his lap, between his legs, so that my head was resting on his thigh and my legs were at an angle, away from him. It made it so his hand cupped perfectly over my pussy when it made contact. He used a heavy wooden ruler for a lot of the spanking. During some of it, he stretched my pussy tight, slightly parted my lips, and spanked my very sensitive areas.

It was different to be able to see J's face when he was spanking me. Usually I am face down. It was exciting to see him really embracing his role.

It was a bit startling how much the spanking stung. I have never had J spank my pussy like he means it before. Usually it was just for play. It lasted a long time and he made sure not to miss any spots.

He also reminded me that I gave him permission to use my pussy when he wants to, and that this spanking was a reminder of what will happen if I deny him. It was kind of thrilling to hear him talk to me like that, but at the same time my pussy was aching from the sting. I do believe this will be effective for me. After this spanking, I cannot imagine what a punishment would be like, and I really don't want to find out.

Does anyone else do this?

Just so no one worries - we do have a safe word I can use if I am ever not comfortable in a situation. But J and I are very in tune with each other and I doubt I will ever need to use it. Also, just to be clear, I asked for us to do our version of DD.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since I just received my first pussy maintenance I thought this next post from AG would be appropriate.

AG writes that on the rare occasion that his wife denies him sex, she gets a pussy whipping later in the evening. He stresses that this happens EVERY TIME. Without fail. He never lets her get away with it. He reiterates that several times. He says consistency is important in all aspects of DD, and that's the only thing that will really make it work.

AG says he most often uses a leather whip, a belt, his hand, or a combination. He says he is careful to cover her whole pussy, all sides and edges, and even makes his wife spread her lips for some slaps to her clit. He says that you must be careful to lightly slap when her clit is exposed to avoid doing any permanent damage (good to know).

He says it's very effective and that it's rare he ever has to whip his wife's pussy. He mentions that immediately after her refusal, they have sex anyway, and that she gets her punishment later in the evening.

I really like that he has sex right away and then waits until later for the pussy spanking. I think that would be more effective. I'm going to mention this to J. For one thing, I'd rather take care of J when he is super horny, than later when he may have calmed down. Also, the anticipation would make the punishment all that more effective.

Monday's Maintenance

J brought out one of the big wooden paddles today, which immediately sent my belly into flip flops. I hate those wooden paddles.

He warmed up my ass with his hand and then switched to the paddle. J said he wanted to make sure that it was still effective and since I was more "in practice" now with spankings, I should be able to handle a harder paddling. I guess I handled it ok.

After the spanking and time in the corner, we talked about the effectiveness of the maintenance. J and I both agree it is working to keep me motivated. My to do lists have been completed every day and that makes me very happy, which makes J very happy.

He mentioned that if I can stay motivated, submissive, and can complete my list over the weekend, we may switch to twice weekly maintenance in the next week or so. My ass says YES! But I have a little bit of fear that if I don't get that reminder I might slack off. We will see how it all works out.

I've been reading a lot of other spanking/discipline blogs and I sometimes find myself nodding in agreement with the thoughts or comments of the poster. I am seeing bits of myself in many of them. I see a lot of people trying to practice some form of DD who have the same struggles with consistency that we have had in the past. I wonder if we are alike in other ways. I wonder how much like me the poster is in real life.

At the same time, I'm also finding a lot of spanking blogs that are fiction or professional models. That makes me feel very much alone. Like I am the only person who is like this in real life.

I guess it doesn't matter as long as it makes me happy and it works for my relationship dynamic with J.

Relaxing Sunday

J woke me up on Sunday with a full head-to-toe massage. He paid attention to each part of my body, and did a very thorough job. It lasted over an hour. It was glorious.

He then made me a nice breakfast, which we ate while catching up on our DVR'd shows from the previous week. We spent the next few hours just lounging around and cuddling on the couch. The rest of the day was just as relaxing.

Before we went to bed J smothered my ass with lotion, so it doesn't get dry or rough.

I am so spoiled and taken care of.

I love my life!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted to continue with the article of unknown origin that I have been summarizing and commenting on. (AG = Article Guy)

In the next section of his article AG says he spanks his wife daily. That's definitely not necessary for J and I. The 3 times a week schedule we have now seems to be working very well, and after awhile we will likely go to twice weekly, and maybe even down to once weekly. Every day seems extreme to me, but if that's what works for AG and his wife, then by all means they should continue with that.

I'd be interested in hearing what maintenance schedule works for other people.

A new kind of maintenance

For my Friday maintenance J decided to use a leather strap and a wooden ruler, in addition to his hand. Throughout the spanking he asked me to tell him what I wanted to accomplish and repeated to me that the three times a week maintenance has really been helping me. In fact I got my whole to do list finished every day this week. I was spanked a little bit harder and a bit longer today. J says it is to make sure I can remember it all weekend, since I won't be spanked again until Monday (unless I earn a punishment or something).

I do love that I feel a bit more motivated to get things done, but I've got to say my butt is sore! Three times a week is definitely a solid reminder of what I need to get done. The soreness doesn't really have time to go away, so I am being reminded every time I sit or move around in a way that brushes my undies against my ass.

Today is a perfect example of how it seems to be working for me. There was an item on my to do list that I was not particularly looking forward to. My first thought was that I will just put it off until tomorrow. The longer I sat here with my to do list staring at me, the more I felt that I really should get that thing done. One because I really didn't want to be spanked again on my already sore bottom. Also, I knew that J would be disappointed if I didn't complete my whole list today, especially after receiving 3 maintenance spankings. So I did it and now I feel happy that my list is completed!

We discussed something new tonight and that is pussy maintenance. We agreed a long time ago that I would never turn J down for sex, unless I am unwell or injured. The only reason I ever turn him down is pure laziness. I get to where I just "don't feel like it". When I do it anyway, I always end up enjoying it and having a great time. It ALWAYS feels good. So we decided that I would no longer be allowed to deny his advances. If/when I do J is supposed to spank my pussy as punishment. Then, sometime later in the day we would have sex. J likes to leave time in between punishment and sex so that the two don't get confused. He says the sex is not part of the punishment.

So, we were discussing how my three times weekly maintenance has been helping with my motivation; giving me the reminder I need of what the consequences will be for not completing my list. J said why not the same with pussy maintenance? It will be a reminder of what happens if I deny his advances. We haven't yet worked out a schedule, J might incorporate it into my already scheduled Mon/Wed/Fri maintenance spankings.

This afternoon, J instructed me into the bedroom. He laid me on my back and whipped my pussy with a riding crop, his hand, and a ruler. He didn't use much force, I think he was just trying to get the feel of how he's going to do this. He also whipped my breasts with the crop. It stung a bit, but he kept it fairly light. He spanked my pussy with varying levels of intensity, at first I found myself getting turned on. But once the intensity increased, I could feel the horniness fading away, and the seriousness of the punishment took its place. It wasn't really a punishment; it was more of a practice for what's to come.

At one point I started to whine a little bit, so J got the cock gag we have and placed it in my mouth. It's short, but very wide. My jaw instantly ached from it. I used to be able to hold that thing in my mouth for awhile, now it because painful after just a few minutes. I am WAY out of practice.

I think the pussy maintenance is promising and necessary to our fantastic sex life. When we first met, I was jumping J's bones constantly. Now I just feel lazy so often that I don't want to bother. I can't wait for that to change.

Hints of Submission

I remembered to show my list to J tonight when he got home from work. Normally something like that is no big deal, but as I was laying my list on his chair, I noticed I felt a little bit proud. Like I was doing something that I knew pleased J. It was just that little bit of submissive feeling coming through.

I used to feel hints of submission like that a lot more often. I think I will again as time goes on, if we can keep up with our version of DD.

Immediately after that I realized I am not due any spanking today. My initial emotional response was a slight bit of disappointment. Then I remembered how much my ass still hurt from the previous 2 days and my disappointment melted into relief.

I think it wasn't the spanking I wanted, as much as wanting to feel the way I feel before/during/after a spanking. It's a hard feeling to explain. I think it's partially knowing that when I get things accomplished and do what J wants me to do, I am the perfect wife. And I like that. It makes me happy. Also, during those moments it feel like my sole purpose is to please J and to serve him. And that his sole purpose is to love me and take care of me. Most of the time I like the way those things make me feel.

I'm sure once I am being spanked tomorrow during maintenance, I will be feeling differently. ha. ha.

**********************************

A few posts ago I mentioned a file I saved on my computer of an article or blog of unknown origin. I did a few searches on Google, but couldn't find the source. So I am just going to summarize and add my own thoughts about what he wrote.

The Article Guy (AG) starts out by saying discipline is like exercise. You can't just get to your goal weight and then stop. You have to maintain exercise and healthy diet or you will gain your weight back. It's the same with discipline. You have to keep up with it and be consistent, if you want it to be effective.

I absolutely believe this.

J and I have stopped and started our version of DD several times. When we don't keep up with it, it all falls apart (the discipline, not the relationship).

We have a fantastic relationship with or without our version of DD. But we find that with it, we are both more motivated, seem to have more energy, and have a lot more great sex! The only downside I can ever find with it is the time commitment it takes to be consistent.

We don't have anymore house guests planned until around the holidays. I'm hoping that is enough time to strengthen our routine enough to handle the interruption and be able to jump right back into it after the holidays.

I'll post more from the article in one of the next posts.

G'night all.

Two Days in a Row

I had forgotten what it is like to get spanked 2 days in a row. Ouch! J wasn't too hard on me tonight, but I had so much trouble not squirming and kicking up my legs. It hurt so much! I'm glad our regular maintenance will be every other day, and not multiple days in a row.

Earlier today when I was looking at my to do list, I kept thinking about being spanked and how much more it would hurt to have a punishment spanking than just a maintenance one. My list was definitely finished yesterday and is close to being finished today. I will have it completed before I go to bed. I did forget to show J my finished list when he got home from work today, but he let me slide on that, since we are still getting back into things.

It's definitely feeling like fall here, slowly turning into winter. Since it is so chilly tonight J let me put my pants back on, after I was released from the corner.

We likely won't have any play time tonight. J has an early business meeting to go to in the morning, so he'll be going to bed early.

No maintenance is scheduled for tomorrow and since my to do list will be finished, I likely won't be spanked again until Friday.

Back to routine

Our friends left late on Monday, so the maintenance J was promising me all weekend didn't happen at the previously scheduled time. Normally he would just leave it cancelled, which is what I expected would happen this time. Instead he told me it would be rescheduled for Tuesday.

I was wondering if J would forget about the rescheduled spanking, but he didn't. Tonight after work he made sure to take care of my maintenance spanking. I have another one schedule for tomorrow (Wed) and another one for Friday. We've never done 3 a week for multiple weeks before. I'm not sure how that frequency will work for us, yet, as we keep getting interrupted.

J wants me to start posting pictures and short video clips on the blog. I am pretty nervous about that. I am self conscious about my body for one thing, as I'm sure most women are. Also, it's going to be my red ass out there for the whole world to see.

J practiced tonight with different angles of the camera. This made for a spanking with more breaks than normal, to allow for camera adjustments, but I didn't mind. After my spanking, I was told to stand in the corner to think about what I needed to accomplish this week and what would happen if I didn't. I think I was only in the corner for about 3 minutes.

I haven't been permitted to wear pants since I was spanked tonight. So far the longest I've been denied any bottoms is 18 hours. Tonight it's only been 8 hours, so not too bad. I am allowed to wear pants after I get out of bed tomorrow morning. Since it is chilly tonight, J let me wear a robe, untied to keep warm.

We were talking earlier tonight about our good friends that were here this weekend. I sometimes wonder if they would have some interest in our version of DD. I would like it if they did. I always wish for someone to share this with.

A day between house guests

My brother left tonight. He and some of his friends are going to live in some little college town for awhile. We have one day to ourselves before our friends arrive on Friday.

Since I don't have much to update I thought I would do a book review of sorts of a book I just finished.

The Compleat Spanker by Lady Green

The Compleat Spanker is a very thin book, and a quick read that might be useful to a true beginner to spanking. The focus is mainly on erotic spankings. Lady Green discusses various common spanking implements, talks about why people spank, safety issues, and gives etiquette advice for spanking parties. I read the first couple chapters and then skimmed through the rest. I was hoping for something more in depth than a basic intro to spanking.

Quick Discipline

My brother went out tonight for several hours, which gave J and I some alone time. We were laying on the bed, catching up from our day. J mentioned my list and that he hadn't checked it because my brother was here, but that this break in our version of DD would end as soon as we did not have house guests.

Without another word, J reached over and slapped my left boob. Then my right. Back and forth a few times.

He spread my legs with his hands and started spanking my pussy. I kept closing my legs, so he took that trade show ruler and put it between my legs, sideways, so that I could not close my legs. He stung my pussy with his slaps, then told me to roll over on my stomach. I got a hand and ruler spanking.

When it was over J made me stay in the bedroom for a few more minutes. He was not comfortable with me in the corner, because it's in the hallway, and Brother could be home at any minute.

He usually only spanks my pussy when i deny his sexual advances, which wasn't the case tonight. I think he was just showing a bit of his domination over me. And I liked it.

J said it was important I got some discipline, even if it was abbreviated. He does not want me to forget what we are doing.

I don't know how people practice any sort of DD with kids around. Having my adult brother interfered with our privacy enough. I can't imagine someone being completely dependent on me being in the house.

Visitors

I finally have a chance to update. Our house guest is out with some friends, so I figured I'd get some blogging in while I have the chance. I do love my brother, but he sometimes acts like he's still in college (he's in his late 30's), and it seems like it falls on me to take care of him.

So last week I was wondering if J read the blog. Well it turns out he hadn't.

On Friday he came into the kitchen when I was making dinner and said, "I just read your blog." He also said, "I didn't know you updated it recently." He told me he checks every once in awhile, but hadn't looked in about 2 weeks, until that night. So I guess we were just feeling the same urges.

He's on board with trying our version of DD again.

J told me I am going to have maintanence spankings 3 times a week at least for a couple of weeks. He agrees that I need some training.

However, right away we hit a road block, because my brother is staying here. We don't have any real privacy with him here. He is supposed to be gone by this weekend, but we have friends who are coming to stay with us for a long weekend. This was planned long before I knew my brother was coming. And it's friends we don't get to see often, so I don't want to cancel.

So we can't really do anything until after Halloween. I'm hoping we can get started again and don't stall out like we have often done.

Brother is still here...

...and everytime I come into the office to check my email (or blog), he says, "Oh yeah, good idea, " and follows me with his laptop. So he's always over my shoulder.

I will update more when I can.

Spanked again??

Tonight around 4:45 I got a text from J asking me if I had finished my list from yesterday. There were a few things I didn't get to, so I replied and told him "not all of it". His text back to me had the following words "Be in the bedroom with your pants off when I get home." Yikes.

I just got spanked yesterday and J has scheduled another maintenance for tomorrow. I wasn't really planning on being spanked today, too!

When he got home I was waiting in the bedroom. I usually greet him at the door, so I felt awkward waiting for him alone in another room. He came into the bedroom, kissed me, and then guided me onto the bed, face down.

He said everyday after work he wants to see my list, and if anything is not completed, we will deal with it immediately. He also mentioned that if it's a maintenance day, I will be spanked twice.

After my lecture, he used his hand and that stupid ruler thing from the trade show to spank me. I thought the spanking was hard and thorough, but J later said it was neither.

After I was spanked, J told me to stand in the corner. That is probably my least favorite thing. I get bored just standing there. Today he put my list in front of my face and had me hold it there while I was in the corner. My mind still drifted.

J seems to be stepping back into his role, and I am trying to step back into mine. I am back and forth with wanting to be spanked and not. Is that common with any of you?

I really like being held accountable. I am sometimes worried that it puts too much pressure on J, though.

We had some fantastic sex tonight, which is always a nice side effect of our version of DD.

Tomorrow is another maintenance day. But the good news is, my to do list is finished for today!

Maybe he is reading the blog...

I'm thinking maybe J is reading the blog and just not mentioning it. Either that or we are just feeling the same way right now.

We had our 6pm appointment, which, as I suspected included me getting spanked. Right at 6, he told me to go into our bedroom. He came in a few seconds later and told me to strip from the waist down.

Once he had me face down on the bed, he alternated spanking me with his hand and with this ruler thing we got for free at a recent Trade show. It's made of thin wood and it's very light, which makes it sting-y.

I wasn't spanked for very long, J noticed outloud that my butt was "out of practice". During the spanking J said he thinks things are better around our house when I have regular maintenance. So we are going back to that. I don't know what our regular schedule will be, but this week we're doing it on Thursday.

J said he hopes one of these times we start our version of DD it will stick. It's much better when I'm motivated.

I didn't say this to him, because I sometimes feel like I'm trying to control things from the "bottom" and I don't want to do that, but I feel like I need some training. I am out of practice and half of me wants to fight this. But the other half of me likes things better when I am not so lazy. I love having my To Do list done every day with time to spare for fun. I just can't seem to accomplish that on my own, with no real consequences if I don't get things done.

I think after awhile J will be able to be lenient again because I will be more interested in getting things done, I'll be "better trained". I am afraid that I need J to be strict beyond his comfort level. I'm also afraid that he will focus too much on the submission part (especially sexually) because that's the part he likes best. But I really need the discipline, too. I think.

The thing I think I need is also the thing that makes me the most nervous. Are you other spankos that way too?

After my spanking and lecture, J had me stand in the corner. I had my shirt on the whole time, with only my jeans and underwear off, and he had me remain that way. I was supposed to think about everything J said about starting back up with maintenance, receiving discipline, and resuming my submissive role once again.

I was only in the corner for about 5 minutes, and my mind kept drifting most of that time. So I didn't really get to focus on what J wanted me to. I guess that's sort of what I'm doing now.

After the corner, I was sitting in a chair, across from J, still naked from the waist down. He spread my legs open with his legs and held them open. I felt so completely exposed. He didn't do anything, just looked at me.

He eventually let me put my underwear back on, but I am still pantsless.

My brother is coming to stay with us, for I don't know how long. He says 1 night, but that could mean 2 weeks. So I don't know if that's going to kill this attempt at our version of DD before it even starts. We will see.

Hints

I've been hinting around to J that I need to be spanked. I think he must have gotten it because he gave me a few swats last night before he went to bed, due to my whining & scowling. He also told me that we will have an "appointment" tonight at 6. That usually means I am going to get a spanking. He mentioned that my attitude hasn't been great lately.

I showed J my to do list last night, which is something I haven't done in awhile. He didn't request it, I just asked him if he wanted to see it. He did and he told me to make sure everything on it is done before I come to bed. There was one item on there that he mentioned should have been completed before he got home from work. But then he added that since I had a busy day, he would let that one slide.

I sometimes wish he wouldn't do that. On the one hand I like that he's lenient, because then when I really don't feel like doing something I can pretty much get out of it. But on the other hand I feel like it's not really effective that way. I sometimes think I need J to be strict and not let me get away with anything. But he's so busy with work, that might put too much pressure on him. I'm just going to wait and see how it plays out.

I found a file I had saved on my computer that reflects how I feel things should be, most of the time (I waver back and forth). I don't want to post it because I don't know the source and I don't want to violate anyone's copyright. If I can't find the source in the next few days, I will try to summarize it in my own words.

We're still here!

Hello friends.

We are still alive! J and I spent the summer traveling, and spanking & discipline have been on the back burner. I haven't really missed it, mostly because we've been so busy spending time with friends. I haven't had much real responsibility, so there were rare times where a spanking would have even been necessary.

We've been home for a few weeks now and the past couple of days I have been starting to feel like I need to be spanked. I have gotten very lax in my day to day chores. It's like I am still on vacation. We have been ordering out a lot, because I can't even get motivated enough to make dinner some days. I feel like these are things I should be spanked for, even though I dread the thought of how it would feel.

I keep thinking about it and in some ways I am craving J to start up my spankings again. But I start to feel like it will only work if he is super strict to start out and not let me get away with anything. But then I think about it more and I feel like I would get angry by J being that strict with me. I think I lose some of the benefit when he's lenient, but it's much less scary for me.

He did spank me today with a very light ruler. It was just a few swats and was more playful than serious. Because my ass is like virgin again, it really hurt and I immediately felt like I didn't want any spankings at all. So it's a toss up.

I'm sort of hoping J will just make the decision and do whatever he thinks needs to be done.

Surprise Spanking

J and I have gotten far away from spanking and discipline. Nothing is amiss in our relationship; it's a combination of being busy and being too tired.

But tonight J came up behind me in the bedroom and gently guided me over his knee. He pulled down my pants and underwear and gave me a quick and fairly mild hand spanking.

My butt was especially stingy afterwards; I haven't been spanked in a long time and all the sensitivity had returned.

Neither of us really said anything afterwards. J is definitely missing the discipline. I'm not so sure I am.

Playful

The nice weather has J and I feeling frisky.  I've been playfully spanked in an erotic sort of way a few times recently, but have had no maintenence or punishment spankings.  

I've been pretty good about finishing my lists every day, but J and I haven't been reviewing them at night.  I'm ok with it for now.  I imagine at some point I'll be asking to be spanked again.

That's all for now. 

Thanks for reading.

Been a long time

J and I have had a lot of recent issues that have kept us from our maintenence schedule.  Some have been health related, some family related, and some laziness related

Things have settled down, but J and I are having some trouble getting back into a regular schedule.

I'm still completing my to do lists everyday, and coming to bed on time.  But there have been no spakings for several weeks.  I have been resistent to starting again, which has happened in the past.

I'm not really sure what to do, and neither is J.  He doesn't want to push.  And I don't want to resent the lifestyle.

So for now we're just not doing anything.

I'll keep you posted.

Back on track?

J and I didn't have much trouble getting back into the swing of things on Monday. Or I should say J didn't have much trouble. I haven't been overly resistant or anything, but I'm just not feelin it this week. I haven't really been thinking about the spankings and when J tells me it's time, I just don't feel like doing it.

Monday's spanking was not so bad; J wanted to ease back into things. But it still hurt a lot. My butt hadn't been spanked in something like 2 weeks. Wednesday's spanking was a lot harder and I was still sore on Thursday. I was also sent to the corner before the spanking, which J hadn't done for awhile. I hate standing there. I feel so restless.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a substitute spanker for when J can't do it. I wonder if it would help keep me from falling back into pure laziness when J is not around. But unfortunately none of our friends or family would be able to fill that role.

We're alive!

We're both feeling better. Thanks for all the comments and emails.

After we were sick for a week, J went on a business trip and was gone for another week. It's been really hard to get back into the swing of things. There has been no spanking and the rules have been lax since J's been home. I've even been staying up WAY past my bedtime!

He told me tonight that next week we will be starting back up with spankings 3 times a week, and bedtime and other rules will be back in effect. Yikes!

One good thing is that I've been keeping up with my chores, even without the spankings. Yay me!

Update

J and I have been sick for the past week, so all activities have been put on hold.  We are just starting to feel better, but J is about to leave on a business trip.  I'm hoping when all is back to "normal" we can get back to the regular spankings.

In the meantime, I'll work on getting healthy again.

Anticipation

Sometimes, when I'm sitting here, waiting for a spanking, I can feel the anticipation building. I know that I am going to be spanked when J gets home from work. He will be home in less than an hour. I know I won't be able to talk my way out of it or somehow otherwise distract J from his task.

Depending on my mood, I sometimes feel turned on by the anticipation. Other times I feel irritated and grumpy. And other times I feel thankful and well taken care of. Overall, this spanking schedule we've been keeping has had a positive affect on us. So no matter what kind of mood I'm in, I submit to the spanking.

...LATER...

So I'm writing this part after having just been spanked. J tells me I'm doing great with my errands/chores. I've been making a daily to do list and have completed it every day. I'm also doing well with not using that tone that J hates. I've been coming to bed on time each night, too. But the one thing I haven't been so great with is being submissive (both sexually and not). J really wants to work on that this week.

It's not that I'm completely unsubmissive, I just have had a low sex drive and have been a bit on the grumpy side lately. Part of it is laziness and part of it is letting myself get back out of shape again. I always feel crappy when I don't exercise regularly. So that's the other thing J brought up tonight. He wants me to start going back to the gym. And he decided that he'll go with me to get himself in better shape, too. He says if I don't go, he won't go either, (although if I don't go, I'll get spanked!).

J is in the garage right now putting a final stain on the ruler. My punishment for not being submissive is a spanking on my pussy with the ruler. It's a heavy wooden ruler that J sanded and stained, so it will look nice and not leave any splinters or anything. We haven't actually used it yet, though it's come up in conversation a bunch of times over the past couple of weeks.

I'm a little nervous about the ruler. I've never been spanked on my pussy other than for play. I've never had an actual frontal punishment. I know it is supposed to hurt, and that's what makes me nervous. I think I'm going to be seeing a lot of this ruler in the near future.

If this posting (and my other postings) seems choppy, it's because sometimes I write things throughout the day, as I think of them. I wait to post them until I have some time to type them all out into the blog.

Thanks for reading!

Starting a new week (and a new year!)

Friday's spanking was pretty intense. I guess I've been a bit grumpy lately and J hates that. He used the middle sized round paddle and he spanked me hard. Friday spankings are usually a bit more intense because I usually go the whole weekend without any scheduled spankings and J wants to make sure I don't forget it by the end of the weekend.

On Saturday we met some friends for brunch. These are some of J's friends that I don't really like to be around. Last time we got together with them, J spanked me before we left, just as a reminder to behave. I half expected him to do the same this time, but he didn't. I managed to behave myself anyway. It wasn't so bad, because it was only brunch, which was pretty quick. It wasn't like when we get together for dinner and it lasts hours and hours.

Well, we're just about ready to start a new week. I'm going to try to get myself in a better mood so I don't get into trouble! I need to find some motivation, too, so I can make sure to get all of my tasks/chores/errands completed on time.

Last day of 2008

We missed nearly a whole week of discipline during Christmas. We had family in town, staying with us, for a few days during the week. Then we were out of town, staying with friends for the weekend.

This week we started back up with a spanking on Monday, and again on Wednesday. J tells me that we will keep with the 3 days a week, indefinitely.

He also said that next time we miss a week, I will get spanked every day for the following week. He tells me my attitude greatly suffers when we miss a full week of spanking.

Wednesday's spanking was really bad for me. I felt defiant the whole time and I just wanted it to be over. To make things worse, I forgot (as usual) to Thank J for spanking me. I'm sure I have further punishment for that. We can talk about it tomorrow, though. Tonight we are going to party!

Happy New Year!

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas!  Happy Holidays!  

Hope you all enjoy your holiday season.

Cassady & Jack

Masturbating

Tonight's spanking hurt more than usual. I don't know why. Some days I feel like I could take a lot more than I get, and other days (like tonight) it feels like I've never been spanked before. I couldn't stop squirming, and I could not wait for it to be over. Maybe it has something to do with hormones.

J wants me to masturbate tomorrow before I do my chores, before I turn on the computer, basically before I do anything else. He thinks it will be a good stress reliever for me.

I would not normally complain about masturbating, but my hand is hurting me tonight. I spent hours and hours writing out our Christmas cards. We send hundreds out to our business clients, in addition to our friends & family. But I'm sure I can find a toy to help me out.

Speaking of stress relief, J has a lot of busy, stressful conferences and work related stuff coming up in the next month or two. He mentioned that I will be relieving him of some of his stress. Orally. So I imagine I'm going to find myself on my knees a lot in Jan/Feb.

Quickie

Just wanted to check in really quickly and let you all know things are still going well.

J and I have both been busy with work and with getting ready for the upcoming holidays. We've been fitting our spankings in, but they've been pretty standard.

After the holidays we will have more time for fun. I'll be posting more often, too.

Quick update

Things are back to normal, if you want to call it that, with our discipline schedule. I got my Wednesday spanking and it was pretty standard. J is really liking me over the pillows on the bed. It's a bit more comfortable for me, but I wouldn't say I like it any better. I think J gets better leverage. He can definitely restrain me more in that position.

J wants to stay with the 3 times a week schedule, as much as we can. We will have to do some adjusting in the next several weeks. We have friends & family visiting at different times between now and the end of Dec.

We are probably going to stay pretty busy through the holidays and a bit after, so my blog posting may be sporadic. I will post new things when I can.

Thank you everyone who has been reading and sending me comments. I'm glad you are having fun reading about our adventures. It's been fun living our adventures, and writing about them, too.

Sorry to have been away so long...

Last week was crazy for J and I. Both with work and with family. We had no time for anything else.

I stayed relatively motived. Well, I at least got my chores and errands finished each day.

I had no discipline all week. I know J felt bad about it, but I really think it's ok. He did notice I was a bit grumpier than normal, but that was partially due to being so busy, not getting to spend really any time together for multiple days in a row, and having a sinus headache all week.

We started back up yesterday and I think we're on our way to being back on track with discipline. Oh, and J found us a new position for my 3 times weekly spankings. (New to us, not new to the "spanking world"). He laid out a couple of pillows on the bed, and had me lay over them. J sat next to me and was able to wrap his arm around my waist, which gave him better control. It was also a little more restricting for me.

Other times when we've tried to live our lives this way, if we missed a week of discipline, it would be a struggle to start back up. We would normally fall right back into bad habits. But this time it was so easy to just start back up. Which is why I'm not worried about the week we skipped. I don't think J is either. He reads this blog regularly now, so I'm sure we'll talk about it after he sees the blog, if not before.

J seems to have really gotten the hang of being strict when he needs to be without overdoing it, which I think might have been a problem for us before. On the one hand, he doesn't usually let me slide, but at the same time I don't feel he is unreasonable. And he's very in tune to me, so he knows when not to push and when to be very stern.

Permission

Sunday J decided I would have to ask him permission to do anything all day. I kept forgetting and would get up to do something and then have to come all the way back into the room, sit back down, and ask J. He always said yes to whatever I asked, it was just about having to ask - even to go to the bathroom!

Later in the evening he pulled me into the bedroom and took me "against my will". Now before anyone worries, it's not really against my will, it's only against my will symbolically. J knows my limits and if I really felt strongly about it, he would have respected my wishes. But overall, I've given him blanket "permission" to do whatever he wants. J can read me very well and I trust him to know if something is truly wrong and act accordingly. So far, he absolutely has.

So, as I was saying, he pulled me into the bedroom and yanked my pants & underwear down, he stuffed my underwear in my mouth, spread my legs and thrust into me. We were both half dressed and half undressed. J was half on the bed and half standing over me, holding my wrists above my head. It was hot!

Right before bed he was asking for a blow job. I didn't feel like it. There was no specific reason, I just felt a little bit grumpy about it, so I protested. He threatened me with a spanking several times before I finally did it. I don't know if I have earned a pussy spanking tomorrow or not. The rule is if I refuse or am grumpy about anything sexual I will get my pussy spanked, but J didn't say anything about it. I guess I will find out on Monday after he gets home from work.

Weekend

Friday:
Friday night I got an extra long, extra hard spanking with the big rectangular wooden paddle. We have dinner plans with some of J's friends on Saturday night. His friends are ok, but their wives are idiots. I have been known to sometimes take a certain tone when I am talking to them. It's the tone that J hates. So he wanted to make sure that this spanking is fresh in my mind tomorrow night.

I was in my usual, over his knee position, on the bed. I had a big blanket wrapped around me so I would't get cold. He usually spanks me for awhile, then has me kneel up and he lectures me, then spanks some more. Tonight he still did that but he added some lecturing while he was spanking me. I think it was effective in that it forced me to focus on what was happening and not let my mind wander.

At every spanking session, J checks in with me to make sure I am still wanting this and that I feel things are working (yes and yes), and I always ask him the same things (yes and yes).

Saturday:
On Saturday we were dressed and ready to meet J's friends. Right before leaving, J told me to bend over the bed. Our bed just happens to be waist level for me, so it's very easy for me to be in this position. J sits next to me and puts one arm around my waist to hold me in position. He took my pants down and spanked me really hard with the leather slappy paddle - once on each cheek. He said that was to remind me not to use my bitchy tone with the wives tonight. I think I will remember. That paddle stings!

Update: J told me on Saturday night, after we got home, that since I was so well behaved at dinner, he would cancel my Monday night spanking, so I'm pretty glad about that. He also told me that I absolutely have to go back to the gym on Monday. If not, there is a severe punishment waiting for me.

Strap

We were once again limited on time tonight (Wednesday), but J definitely did not want to skip a spanking. So while we were getting dressed to go out, J said, "Bend over the bed, we're going to take care of this now."

He used an implement that is referred to as the "punishment" strap. It is a leather strap with a wooden handle. It's very heavy and it hurts! He spanked me with that for just a few minutes and reminded me of the reasons we are doing this. I'm glad it didn't last long, I can't take much with that strap.

When we were finished, J said I should think about what that strap feels like, because if he needs to punish me, he'll most likely be using that strap. Yikes!

That's something

I totally forgot about Monday's spanking. I was involved in 2 projects that consumed all of my thoughts and I just wasn't even thinking about spankings. So when J said, "Hey Cass, go into the bedroom, take off your clothes and wait for me," it came as a complete surprise. But only for a second.

J has a totally different voice he uses when he's about to discipline me. It's very authoritative and I know he means it. He is otherwise very softspoken and gentle. It's only when he's in punishment/discipline/etc. mode that he sounds so stern.

I was spanked a lot harder tonight. I was squirming all over the place, I could barely take it. J says my butt is getting more used to being spanked often and he doesn't want me to build up a tolerance. Also, he wants to make sure I change modes from relaxing weekend to back to the grind work-week. I think it worked. Ouch!

I think J has found a good balance between knowing when to be really strict and when to not push things. The pace we are going has really been working well for both of us.

I'm not 100% motivated all the time, but I do get all of my daily chores and errands completed every day, so that's something.

Something's working

So last week we missed one of my spanking days. J made sure to spank me a little bit harder and a little bit longer on Friday to make up for it. He used that long rectangular wooden paddle. Right at the end he made me count the last 10 outloud. They hurt the most. He also wanted to make sure I remember the spanking all weekend.

J said he can definitely tell a difference in my motivation from just skipping one spanking day. He told me on Friday that we will continue with the 3 days a week spankings through at least next week.

Something funny happened this weekend. I was having lunch with a friend and she made a comment that she noticed lately I had less of a bitchy tone in my voice. Not that it's something I have all the time, but if you are around me enough, you'll eventually hear it. She said she noticed it less in recent weeks. I chuckled to myself and just told her I had been working on that.

J was pleased when I told him what my friend said. I feel good about it too.

Brrrr.

Monday was really cold, so when I was getting my spanking, J used a blanket to cover me up so I wouldn't be too cold. The only thing uncovered was my butt! The blanket was huge and fell all around my head, I sort of felt like I was in a little tent. I could see out straight ahead, but not to either side.

J used the big wooden rectangular paddle for the spanking. It is one of the worst paddles we have. He explained that he was using it so that I would be aware of what a punishment spanking would be like. He didn't spank me as hard or as long as he would if it was a punishment spanking, but he wanted me to feel that paddle. Just as a reinforcement/reminder.

Later in the evening we had some fun. J had me lay on the edge of our bed, on my side, and he stood in front of me. I was able to finish what we had started earlier in the day. We also discovered, in this position, that he could use the tawse and gently whip me while I was sucking him.

I should have had a spanking tonight (Wednesday), but J had a work related emergency and though he was able to work from home, he was working well past 10pm. I'm sure we will make up for it soon.

Collar

J wanted me to wear my collar while I was doing my chores today. I don't usually have problems with the collar, but for some reason today, it rubbed a raw spot on my neck. I didn't have it on for very long either. I did the dishes, cleaned up the kitchen, dusted, and made a few phone calls. That was less than 2 hours.

J stopped home on his lunch break today to pick something up. While he was here, he commanded me to kneel in front of him, unzip his pants, and take him into my mouth. He didn't have time to finish, though, so we'll probably get to that later tonight.

I still haven't gotten back to the gym. It's been ages since I've been there. I've been feeling so lazy and blubbery lately, I must get back into the gym routine. Oh why can't I just sit around eating cupcakes all day?

I have my Monday spanking to "look forward to" tonight. Otherwise I think J and I are going to curl up on the couch and watch a movie.

Relaxing Weekend

Tonight J was playing with a crease in my pants. It was a little annoying so I grumbled at him. J did not appreciate that at all. He told me to take my pants off and that I had lost the privilege of wearing pants for the rest of the night.

So I am sitting here with no pants on while I write this blog.

J read the blog this weekend. He definitely approved of it, and he said he really enjoyed reading it.

I didn't have any chores to do this weekend, because I got them all completed during the week! So this weekend was nice and relaxing. Plus, I got a nice massage from J on Sunday.

I like the pace we are going. We're not trying everything at once, but I still feel like we aren't stuck in one place.

More Weekend Thoughts

The other day J noticed an old wooden ruler I have sitting on my desk. He commented that it would be a great implement for spanking my pussy. The only thing is that it has a rough edge. So he decided this weekend he will take it into the garage and sand it down. I'm semi excited, semi nervous about it as a spanking implement, especially on my pussy. I'll let you know if he has to use it.

I'm always thinking about what it is J and I do. What it's called. There's not really a name that fits, we're just living our lives. I've been reading this other blog a lot called The Punishment
Book. One of the women posted something there that really hit home with me. She said, "maybe he realized that doing this for me wasn't about him being "head of household" or "dominant male" but taking care of someone he loves."

That really resonated with me. That is exactly how I feel about J and I. He's not really the HOH in the traditional sense of the word. He hasn't taken over, but he does help me do what's best
for me, and he takes care of me. It just so happens that I respond to having some discipline and routine in my life. And I trust him enough to handle it.

Thank you.

I find when it is one of my normal spanking days, I feel like I need to be spanked. I feel like if I went one more day before getting spanked, I would slack off on my daily chores and errands.
Anytime I think about slacking, I just remember my last spanking and it is definitely a deterrent.

We have a plethora of spanking implements but J has been really hooked on the round wooden paddle lately. That's what he used for tonight's spanking. He likes me to bend over his lap, as he sits on the bed. He starts with his hand to give me a nice warm up, then has me kneel up while he reminds me why we are doing this. He asks me if I like having more structure (yes), he asks me if I am enjoying the house being clean and my chores being done (yes), asks if I like having a bedtime (no), asks if I think getting spanked regularly is helping me have a better attitude (yes). He pushes me back over his lap and continues with the paddle. I like the break in between. Not just because it gives my butt a break, but because it helps me refocus on the spanking and the reasons for it.

I'm still having trouble remembering to thank him for spanking me. It's not that I'm not thankful, I just don't think about it. It's a simple matter of just saying thank you that J really likes. I wish I could remember to do it every time.

Journal

Most days, getting to bed on time is not a problem. But once in awhile I get involved in a project online and I don't want to stop. I am a "night owl", so I've always stayed up late.

Tonight's spanking was a bit more intense than they have been lately, because I whined about having a bedtime. J doesn't like whining at all.

I haven't gotten an actual punishment spanking yet. I haven't felt the need to brat at all, because I'm getting spanked regularly. And they hurt enough that I don't want any extra spankings.

J was at a business meeting today and someone gave him a notepad for taking notes. As he was showing it to me, he joked that he was going to give it to me so I could keep a journal. Maybe that's a sign I should tell him about the blog. I think I will this weekend when he'll have time to read it.

Spare Time.

Getting my "chores" and errands completed before I turn the computer on has been great! I get everything finished quickly and I even seem to end up with some spare time every day.

I need to get back into an exercise routine. I have gotten lazy with that and my muscles feel like they are turning into mush. That's the next thing I really need to work on.

When J came home from work tonight I greeted him in just a robe, my collar, and leash. He told me I looked hot. He led me to the bedroom and I knelt in front of him. I performed oral sex on him for a few minutes and then we had great sex. He used the leash to pull me into different positions.

My Monday spanking came a few hours later and was average in intensity, with the wooden paddle. I will still feel it tomorrow, but it isn't uncomfortable to sit. J says we will continue with 3 times a week this week and next week and then will see if we can take it down to 2 weeks. He told me tonight that he's pleased with the way things have been going. I am too.

I haven't told J I'm writing this blog yet. At first I wanted to wait until I had a few posts up here so he'd actually have something to read. But then I thought that I don't want him to be swayed in any way by something I've said. This is the first time he's taken the sole lead role in this and it's going really well.

So now I'm not sure when I will tell him about this. Not that I'm specficially keeping it from him, it just hasn't seemed like a good time to bring it up.

Weekend

My Friday spanking wasn't so bad. J felt that I had done really well all week so he kinda took it easy on me. I was spanked with his hand and with a wooden paddle, but not for very long. I was led to the corner afterwards and was there for about 5 minutes. I know I am supposed to think about my actions and my discipline and the positive benefits it is having, when I am in the corner. I have a hard time doing that, though. My mind tends to wander to other things.

We had a mostly uneventful weekend. We did have some fantastic sex, we have both been feeling supercharged lately in that department.

I got a few swats today (Sunday) for putting myself down. J hates when I do that so he spanked me for it. It wasn't a lot of swats but they were quick and sharp and they stung!

Earlier this evening he was looking for a school uniform skirt for me to wear. Not a school girl costume, necessarily, he was more interested in something like a skirt from an actual school uniform store. He likes the idea of me being more easily accessible to him, both for play and any necessary discipline.

He told me he wants me to meet him at the door when he gets home from work tomorrow wearing only my robe, collar, and leash. I'm not sure exactly what he has in mind. We have a busy evening planned tomorrow, so I don't know what we'll have time for.

Hairbrush

Tonight J made up for the spanking I didn't get on Wednesday. He had me wearing my collar earlier in the evening. He mostly likes the way it looks on me. About a half hour before my spanking, he had me take off my clothes. I was answering some emails, which he said I could finish first, but I had to do it while nude.

After he had me over his lap, he realized he forgot to get out the paddle, so he used his hand and my hairbrush (which was within reach). The hairbrush is light, but it still stings! J does not like me to clench my butt cheeks when he is spanking me, but it's sometimes hard not to. I get an extra hard swat everytime I clench. Another thing I do is raise my legs and feet up. It's not a conscious movement, it's just in reaction to the spanking. J gives my thighs a quick stinging slap when I do this. I'm learning quickly to control my legs!

Tomorrow is back to my regularly scheduled spanking.

Short One

J got home really late tonight, so I did not get my wednesday spanking. He didn't get home until after 9pm and there was not enough time.

He did have me stand in the corner with my pants down and my shirt pulled up while he got ready for bed. While I was standing there he asked me if I like having more structure. I definitely do.

He apologized for not having the time to spank me tonight but told me I would get spanked tomorrow to make up for it. I am a bit bummed about that because that means I will be spanked 2 days in a row. I wanted to just skip it, but J says that is not an option.

Essay

My essay was due on Monday by the time J got home from work. Here is the essay I wrote:

There are at least three benefits of having and abiding by a bedtime. I am better rested, have less headaches, and am not as cranky when I get a good amount of sleep. If I do not get enough sleep I do not feel well, plus I get spanked.

When I go to bed when I am supposed to, I feel better rested the next day. My bones and muscles do not ache as much and I am not as tired all day long. There is a definite physical difference that I can feel when I get a good night's sleep.

Going to bed on time also improves my mood and keeps me from being too cranky during the day. I am less likely to be grumpy or use an improper tone with someone when I have gotten 8-9 hours of sleep.

Another benefit is that I do not get as many headaches or migraines when I am well rested. This also helps in me being less cranky because I am not in any pain. My whole being feels much better when I am not suffering from a headache.

By going to bed on time I get the benefits of being well rested, being in a better mood, and getting less frequent headaches. Plus, I don't get spanked or punished.

J thought I did a good job with the essay. This week starts our M-W-F spankings. I am glad not to be getting them every day, but J has told me that he won't hesitate to go back to daily spankings if needed.

J told me to go into the bedroom and take my clothes off to prepare for my Monday spanking. When he came in, he got the wooden paddle he likes to use, which I hate. My spanking was not very severe, but it did hurt! Afterwards J led me to the corner and told me to think about what I needed to do to maintain the life I want. That includes doing my chores (I can't stand a dirty house, but I am lazy and don't clean it as much as I wish I did), staying motivated, and being submissive to J.

We haven't had a lot of time to work on the submissive part, because I had my period all last week. But now he is planning on incorporating a lot more submissive stuff into our "plan", which I have agreed to. When we first met, I was completely sex-crazed. We had great sex, all the time. As I'm getting older I'm a lot lazier about it. I miss those days, and I know J does too. Having great sex often is not only lots of fun, but it's good exercise too! I am not supposed to refuse any of J's advances at any time (unless I'm ill, of course). I'm looking forward to this rule.

Setting the clocks back

We had a great time with our friends this weekend and now it is back to the grind. I was sad about setting the clocks back last night, I don't like that it gets dark so early.

Thursday night I ended up getting to bed 3 minutes late. I asked J to let it go, it was only 3 minutes. He said he would not. I am glad he's being strict. I was secretly hoping he would not let me off the hook.

J told me later that my punishment for coming to bed late. I am to write a short essay detailing 3 benefits of having and abiding by a bedtime. J's never had me write an essay before. I'm not sure how I feel about that just yet. It is due on Monday by the time he gets home from work.

I was originally thinking I would write one brief paragraph, but J has since informed me that an essay has an intro, a paragraph for each of the 3 benefits, and a conclusion. I don't know how long it will take me, so I am going to do that first thing tomorrow to get it out of the way.

My butt finally stopped being sore early on Saturday. J will certainly be changing that tomorrow. My regular spankings will be Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week. We are going to try that for a few weeks to see if it's enough to keep me motivated. Then we can revisit the frequency and adjust as needed.