Thanksgiving and getting back into the routine

Our DD activities kind of fell apart last week with the holidays; having houseguests and later being houseguests. We had a great time celebrating with friends and family, though.

As I was making up my weekly to do list on Sunday, J told me to make sure I had our 3 appointments on there. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. With the Wednesday one including a pussy spanking. I didn't get that last week and even though I don't like it, I still missed it.

It's incredible to me how much being held accountable does for me. This past week I barely got the things done I needed to do. It was a real struggle for me. It was almost like I knew there would be no consequences, so I didn't make the effort. It's just so much easier to be lazy and focus my attention elsewhere.

We were watching The Biggest Loser on our DVR over the weekend, and I found myself wondering: If those people had consequences like spanking, would they be more inclined to exercise/eat right? I'd like to see Bob and Jillian with a paddle!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is some more from the article of unknown origin that I have been commenting on. (AG = Article Guy)

Another thing the AG talks about is Grounding. This is one of those areas that I am conflicted about. When I honestly think about it, there are times when I spend too much time on the computer, and shirk my responsibilities. That seems like an offense ideal for grounding.

But would I get angry and resent J for grounding me? Or would I ignore the grounding? I'm not really sure as I've never actually been grounded, for real. AG restricts his wife from TV, Internet, phone, and leaving the house when she is grounded. The length of time depends on her offense. Anywhere from several hours to several days. I can't even imagine being restricted from doing something I want to do for several days.

AG says grounding is very effective on his wife, and that he doesn't have to do it often. If J decides I need to be grounded at some point, I will be sure to blog about how I dealt with it.

No warm up

(This blog post was from last Monday, I just forgot to post it!)

J started right in with that awful strap tonight. No warm up or anything! Partly it was because Mondays are the start of a new week and I hadn't been spanked all weekend. The other part was because I forgot to show him my to-do list when he got home from work.

He says if I don't show it to him, how does he know it's completed? He will just assume it is not, if I don't show it to him.

So I got a few extra (and hard!) swats with the strap while J was lecturing me.

It was almost unbearable. I was sort of in and out of sub space. When he said "Last 10, count out loud," I didn't think I was going to be able to do it. It's the closest I've ever come to crying from a spanking.

I will definitely remember to show him my list tomorrow!

Wednesday's Implements

I thought I would try posting a picture of the implements J used today. I've never put a picture on a blog before, I hope it works!

The top one, in this picture, I call the strappy thing. It's leather and heavy. The strap is about 3"-4" wide. It feels stingy and thudy at the same time. It definitely gets my attention!

The one at the bottom of the picture used to be a ruler that J sanded down very smooth. He also rounded the edges and put a layer of finish on it. It's a nice pretty piece of solid wood when I'm not being spanked with it!

J used the ruler on my pussy tonight. Last week we started pussy maintenance, which J decided we would do on Wednesdays. This is in addition to my regular ass spankings, that I'm still getting three times a week.

Wednesdays are a little strange for me. After my ass gets spanked it feels like it's going to over, but then I have to flip over to get the rest of the maintenance.

We've both been pretty pleased at how well it's working this time. I feel a little bit more motivated, my to-do lists have been finished every day, and J says I've been more submissive to him.

I'm trying to get started back into my gym routine this week. I hope I can stay motivated enough to keep going regularly.

Well, if I don't, I know what will happen!

My first pussy maintenance

I received my first pussy maintenance tonight. J decided we will do this once a week as part of our maintenance schedule.

He arranged me on his lap, between his legs, so that my head was resting on his thigh and my legs were at an angle, away from him. It made it so his hand cupped perfectly over my pussy when it made contact. He used a heavy wooden ruler for a lot of the spanking. During some of it, he stretched my pussy tight, slightly parted my lips, and spanked my very sensitive areas.

It was different to be able to see J's face when he was spanking me. Usually I am face down. It was exciting to see him really embracing his role.

It was a bit startling how much the spanking stung. I have never had J spank my pussy like he means it before. Usually it was just for play. It lasted a long time and he made sure not to miss any spots.

He also reminded me that I gave him permission to use my pussy when he wants to, and that this spanking was a reminder of what will happen if I deny him. It was kind of thrilling to hear him talk to me like that, but at the same time my pussy was aching from the sting. I do believe this will be effective for me. After this spanking, I cannot imagine what a punishment would be like, and I really don't want to find out.

Does anyone else do this?

Just so no one worries - we do have a safe word I can use if I am ever not comfortable in a situation. But J and I are very in tune with each other and I doubt I will ever need to use it. Also, just to be clear, I asked for us to do our version of DD.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since I just received my first pussy maintenance I thought this next post from AG would be appropriate.

AG writes that on the rare occasion that his wife denies him sex, she gets a pussy whipping later in the evening. He stresses that this happens EVERY TIME. Without fail. He never lets her get away with it. He reiterates that several times. He says consistency is important in all aspects of DD, and that's the only thing that will really make it work.

AG says he most often uses a leather whip, a belt, his hand, or a combination. He says he is careful to cover her whole pussy, all sides and edges, and even makes his wife spread her lips for some slaps to her clit. He says that you must be careful to lightly slap when her clit is exposed to avoid doing any permanent damage (good to know).

He says it's very effective and that it's rare he ever has to whip his wife's pussy. He mentions that immediately after her refusal, they have sex anyway, and that she gets her punishment later in the evening.

I really like that he has sex right away and then waits until later for the pussy spanking. I think that would be more effective. I'm going to mention this to J. For one thing, I'd rather take care of J when he is super horny, than later when he may have calmed down. Also, the anticipation would make the punishment all that more effective.

Monday's Maintenance

J brought out one of the big wooden paddles today, which immediately sent my belly into flip flops. I hate those wooden paddles.

He warmed up my ass with his hand and then switched to the paddle. J said he wanted to make sure that it was still effective and since I was more "in practice" now with spankings, I should be able to handle a harder paddling. I guess I handled it ok.

After the spanking and time in the corner, we talked about the effectiveness of the maintenance. J and I both agree it is working to keep me motivated. My to do lists have been completed every day and that makes me very happy, which makes J very happy.

He mentioned that if I can stay motivated, submissive, and can complete my list over the weekend, we may switch to twice weekly maintenance in the next week or so. My ass says YES! But I have a little bit of fear that if I don't get that reminder I might slack off. We will see how it all works out.

I've been reading a lot of other spanking/discipline blogs and I sometimes find myself nodding in agreement with the thoughts or comments of the poster. I am seeing bits of myself in many of them. I see a lot of people trying to practice some form of DD who have the same struggles with consistency that we have had in the past. I wonder if we are alike in other ways. I wonder how much like me the poster is in real life.

At the same time, I'm also finding a lot of spanking blogs that are fiction or professional models. That makes me feel very much alone. Like I am the only person who is like this in real life.

I guess it doesn't matter as long as it makes me happy and it works for my relationship dynamic with J.

Relaxing Sunday

J woke me up on Sunday with a full head-to-toe massage. He paid attention to each part of my body, and did a very thorough job. It lasted over an hour. It was glorious.

He then made me a nice breakfast, which we ate while catching up on our DVR'd shows from the previous week. We spent the next few hours just lounging around and cuddling on the couch. The rest of the day was just as relaxing.

Before we went to bed J smothered my ass with lotion, so it doesn't get dry or rough.

I am so spoiled and taken care of.

I love my life!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted to continue with the article of unknown origin that I have been summarizing and commenting on. (AG = Article Guy)

In the next section of his article AG says he spanks his wife daily. That's definitely not necessary for J and I. The 3 times a week schedule we have now seems to be working very well, and after awhile we will likely go to twice weekly, and maybe even down to once weekly. Every day seems extreme to me, but if that's what works for AG and his wife, then by all means they should continue with that.

I'd be interested in hearing what maintenance schedule works for other people.

A new kind of maintenance

For my Friday maintenance J decided to use a leather strap and a wooden ruler, in addition to his hand. Throughout the spanking he asked me to tell him what I wanted to accomplish and repeated to me that the three times a week maintenance has really been helping me. In fact I got my whole to do list finished every day this week. I was spanked a little bit harder and a bit longer today. J says it is to make sure I can remember it all weekend, since I won't be spanked again until Monday (unless I earn a punishment or something).

I do love that I feel a bit more motivated to get things done, but I've got to say my butt is sore! Three times a week is definitely a solid reminder of what I need to get done. The soreness doesn't really have time to go away, so I am being reminded every time I sit or move around in a way that brushes my undies against my ass.

Today is a perfect example of how it seems to be working for me. There was an item on my to do list that I was not particularly looking forward to. My first thought was that I will just put it off until tomorrow. The longer I sat here with my to do list staring at me, the more I felt that I really should get that thing done. One because I really didn't want to be spanked again on my already sore bottom. Also, I knew that J would be disappointed if I didn't complete my whole list today, especially after receiving 3 maintenance spankings. So I did it and now I feel happy that my list is completed!

We discussed something new tonight and that is pussy maintenance. We agreed a long time ago that I would never turn J down for sex, unless I am unwell or injured. The only reason I ever turn him down is pure laziness. I get to where I just "don't feel like it". When I do it anyway, I always end up enjoying it and having a great time. It ALWAYS feels good. So we decided that I would no longer be allowed to deny his advances. If/when I do J is supposed to spank my pussy as punishment. Then, sometime later in the day we would have sex. J likes to leave time in between punishment and sex so that the two don't get confused. He says the sex is not part of the punishment.

So, we were discussing how my three times weekly maintenance has been helping with my motivation; giving me the reminder I need of what the consequences will be for not completing my list. J said why not the same with pussy maintenance? It will be a reminder of what happens if I deny his advances. We haven't yet worked out a schedule, J might incorporate it into my already scheduled Mon/Wed/Fri maintenance spankings.

This afternoon, J instructed me into the bedroom. He laid me on my back and whipped my pussy with a riding crop, his hand, and a ruler. He didn't use much force, I think he was just trying to get the feel of how he's going to do this. He also whipped my breasts with the crop. It stung a bit, but he kept it fairly light. He spanked my pussy with varying levels of intensity, at first I found myself getting turned on. But once the intensity increased, I could feel the horniness fading away, and the seriousness of the punishment took its place. It wasn't really a punishment; it was more of a practice for what's to come.

At one point I started to whine a little bit, so J got the cock gag we have and placed it in my mouth. It's short, but very wide. My jaw instantly ached from it. I used to be able to hold that thing in my mouth for awhile, now it because painful after just a few minutes. I am WAY out of practice.

I think the pussy maintenance is promising and necessary to our fantastic sex life. When we first met, I was jumping J's bones constantly. Now I just feel lazy so often that I don't want to bother. I can't wait for that to change.

Hints of Submission

I remembered to show my list to J tonight when he got home from work. Normally something like that is no big deal, but as I was laying my list on his chair, I noticed I felt a little bit proud. Like I was doing something that I knew pleased J. It was just that little bit of submissive feeling coming through.

I used to feel hints of submission like that a lot more often. I think I will again as time goes on, if we can keep up with our version of DD.

Immediately after that I realized I am not due any spanking today. My initial emotional response was a slight bit of disappointment. Then I remembered how much my ass still hurt from the previous 2 days and my disappointment melted into relief.

I think it wasn't the spanking I wanted, as much as wanting to feel the way I feel before/during/after a spanking. It's a hard feeling to explain. I think it's partially knowing that when I get things accomplished and do what J wants me to do, I am the perfect wife. And I like that. It makes me happy. Also, during those moments it feel like my sole purpose is to please J and to serve him. And that his sole purpose is to love me and take care of me. Most of the time I like the way those things make me feel.

I'm sure once I am being spanked tomorrow during maintenance, I will be feeling differently. ha. ha.

**********************************

A few posts ago I mentioned a file I saved on my computer of an article or blog of unknown origin. I did a few searches on Google, but couldn't find the source. So I am just going to summarize and add my own thoughts about what he wrote.

The Article Guy (AG) starts out by saying discipline is like exercise. You can't just get to your goal weight and then stop. You have to maintain exercise and healthy diet or you will gain your weight back. It's the same with discipline. You have to keep up with it and be consistent, if you want it to be effective.

I absolutely believe this.

J and I have stopped and started our version of DD several times. When we don't keep up with it, it all falls apart (the discipline, not the relationship).

We have a fantastic relationship with or without our version of DD. But we find that with it, we are both more motivated, seem to have more energy, and have a lot more great sex! The only downside I can ever find with it is the time commitment it takes to be consistent.

We don't have anymore house guests planned until around the holidays. I'm hoping that is enough time to strengthen our routine enough to handle the interruption and be able to jump right back into it after the holidays.

I'll post more from the article in one of the next posts.

G'night all.

Two Days in a Row

I had forgotten what it is like to get spanked 2 days in a row. Ouch! J wasn't too hard on me tonight, but I had so much trouble not squirming and kicking up my legs. It hurt so much! I'm glad our regular maintenance will be every other day, and not multiple days in a row.

Earlier today when I was looking at my to do list, I kept thinking about being spanked and how much more it would hurt to have a punishment spanking than just a maintenance one. My list was definitely finished yesterday and is close to being finished today. I will have it completed before I go to bed. I did forget to show J my finished list when he got home from work today, but he let me slide on that, since we are still getting back into things.

It's definitely feeling like fall here, slowly turning into winter. Since it is so chilly tonight J let me put my pants back on, after I was released from the corner.

We likely won't have any play time tonight. J has an early business meeting to go to in the morning, so he'll be going to bed early.

No maintenance is scheduled for tomorrow and since my to do list will be finished, I likely won't be spanked again until Friday.

Back to routine

Our friends left late on Monday, so the maintenance J was promising me all weekend didn't happen at the previously scheduled time. Normally he would just leave it cancelled, which is what I expected would happen this time. Instead he told me it would be rescheduled for Tuesday.

I was wondering if J would forget about the rescheduled spanking, but he didn't. Tonight after work he made sure to take care of my maintenance spanking. I have another one schedule for tomorrow (Wed) and another one for Friday. We've never done 3 a week for multiple weeks before. I'm not sure how that frequency will work for us, yet, as we keep getting interrupted.

J wants me to start posting pictures and short video clips on the blog. I am pretty nervous about that. I am self conscious about my body for one thing, as I'm sure most women are. Also, it's going to be my red ass out there for the whole world to see.

J practiced tonight with different angles of the camera. This made for a spanking with more breaks than normal, to allow for camera adjustments, but I didn't mind. After my spanking, I was told to stand in the corner to think about what I needed to accomplish this week and what would happen if I didn't. I think I was only in the corner for about 3 minutes.

I haven't been permitted to wear pants since I was spanked tonight. So far the longest I've been denied any bottoms is 18 hours. Tonight it's only been 8 hours, so not too bad. I am allowed to wear pants after I get out of bed tomorrow morning. Since it is chilly tonight, J let me wear a robe, untied to keep warm.

We were talking earlier tonight about our good friends that were here this weekend. I sometimes wonder if they would have some interest in our version of DD. I would like it if they did. I always wish for someone to share this with.