I wrote a few of these posts previously, on my laptop, which did not have Internet access for a few days. I am just uploading them now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thursday I woke up to find my butt is still very sore. We have found, in our previous experiences, that when my butt stays sore for more than a day, it helps as a reminder to me whenever I am feeling lazy or unmotivated.
I got all of my errands and "chores" (for lack of a better word) done today in record time. I had enough time for some pampering - just some little things I like to do that I often don’t have time for, or put off. I moisturized all of my skin today - all over my whole body. I used my favorite lotion and felt so silky smooth afterwards. Not to mention I smell great! Why don't I do this everyday? Oh, that's right, I lean toward the lazy side. Hopefully that will be changing and I'll have time to pamper myself more often.
An unintentional benefit I've noticed is that I've been hanging out with and cuddling with J a lot more this week. Normally when we're watching TV, I have the laptop sitting in front of me and am busy answering emails or reading newsgroups. Now that my days are a bit more structured, I'm finding all this extra time. So my newsgroups are read and emails are answered by the time J gets home from work, which leaves plenty of extra time for hanging out with the man I love.
My spanking tonight was just awful. The hand spanking wasn't so bad, but when J switched over to the paddle it really hurt. My butt was still sore from the previous 3 days of spanking. I kept thinking about what a great week it had been. And I knew this would be the last spanking until Monday. J decided that next week we will cut it down to 3 times a week spankings. Monday, Wednesday and Friday. One of the mistakes I think we made before is we only had weekly spankings and that was just not enough for me. I think 3 times a week will be a good amount. But if it turns out it doesn't work, we'll adjust it accordingly.
I have an earlier bedtime tonight because I have to get up early tomorrow. We have friends coming to stay with us for the weekend and they are arriving in the morning.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Ouch!
Wednesday was a rude awakening on my ass.
I got everything done I needed to do with plenty of time to spare. I even had some extra time to read, which was nice. And our house was clean and staying tidy. I haven't been so motivated in a long time. It felt good. I even had time after dinner to visit a friend for a couple of hours. I put my friends off sometimes because I'm always falling behind on things I need to do and am always trying to play catch-up.
My spanking tonight was a little bit later because J had a meeting run late at work. When I saw him get the paddle I was a little bit nervous. I haven't been spanked with a paddle in months. It was a hard spanking. Both with his hand and the paddle. I didn't cry though. I never do, which is odd, because I cry so easily at other things in my life.
We have lots of toys and spanking implements. I like erotic spankings too, so we have toys that I like to be spanked with and some that aren't so much fun. The one J used today is a large round wooden paddle.
He also gave me a bedtime tonight. I have a lot of trouble sleeping and when I don't get enough sleep I get bad headaches. When I go to bed at the same time and wake up near the same time, consistently I get very few headaches and feel better overall. I've been staying up way too late lately, so J gave me a bedtime.
I always think to myself how strange it seems that I need a bedtime. I am a fully functional, independent adult woman. But for now I will follow the bedtime rule. The worst thing that can happen is it won't work and my sleep will still suffer. Or it might help and keep me on a schedule. That would be wonderful.
My butt is still so very sore, I am rethinking my willingness to have a daily spanking this week. But it's only one more day. We are having friends stay with us this weekend and they are arriving Friday morning. I do not get spanked when other people are around for obvious reasons. I often wish we had friends who were open to our lifestyle, or even just friends who liked spanking for the kink side of it!
I got everything done I needed to do with plenty of time to spare. I even had some extra time to read, which was nice. And our house was clean and staying tidy. I haven't been so motivated in a long time. It felt good. I even had time after dinner to visit a friend for a couple of hours. I put my friends off sometimes because I'm always falling behind on things I need to do and am always trying to play catch-up.
My spanking tonight was a little bit later because J had a meeting run late at work. When I saw him get the paddle I was a little bit nervous. I haven't been spanked with a paddle in months. It was a hard spanking. Both with his hand and the paddle. I didn't cry though. I never do, which is odd, because I cry so easily at other things in my life.
We have lots of toys and spanking implements. I like erotic spankings too, so we have toys that I like to be spanked with and some that aren't so much fun. The one J used today is a large round wooden paddle.
He also gave me a bedtime tonight. I have a lot of trouble sleeping and when I don't get enough sleep I get bad headaches. When I go to bed at the same time and wake up near the same time, consistently I get very few headaches and feel better overall. I've been staying up way too late lately, so J gave me a bedtime.
I always think to myself how strange it seems that I need a bedtime. I am a fully functional, independent adult woman. But for now I will follow the bedtime rule. The worst thing that can happen is it won't work and my sleep will still suffer. Or it might help and keep me on a schedule. That would be wonderful.
My butt is still so very sore, I am rethinking my willingness to have a daily spanking this week. But it's only one more day. We are having friends stay with us this weekend and they are arriving Friday morning. I do not get spanked when other people are around for obvious reasons. I often wish we had friends who were open to our lifestyle, or even just friends who liked spanking for the kink side of it!
The Second Day
Monday night we discussed my earlier spanking. I felt encouraged by it and J did too. He told me I was going to be spanked daily for the week. He was fairly gentle on Monday because my butt had not been spanked for so long.
I can't say I was looking forward to being spanked again on Tuesday, but I did feel glad it was going to happen. I felt glad J seemed to be really taking control this time. With very little input from me.
(For anyone who doesn't know, I can veto anything at any time if I do not feel right about it. J and I are in an amazing and very trusting relationship and have been together for many years. We know each other well and love each other deeply. There is something about my chemical make up that craves structure and discipline in my life. I work better that way and am always so much happier. But it takes work and time and sometimes J and I don't have either.)
I got so many things done on Tuesday. I cleaned the living room, dusted the whole house, changed the filter in the shower, did the dishes, planned dinner, and a few other little tasks that needed to be done. I also got a workout in. And I still had spare time. I don't know how that happened - I'm usually scrambling for time to get things done and I have barely been doing anything for the past several weeks. I have a problem with laziness. J and I decided that I have to have certain things completed before I can turn on my computer. That has really been helping.
Tuesday's spanking ended up being semi-mild and was only a hand spanking. J then led me to the corner where I stood for what seemed to be 15 minutes. Afterwards I knelt in front of him and thanked him for spanking me. I really do appreciate that he takes the time and effort to help give me structure. I might not have mentioned this before, but I asked for this. I brought it up the first time we talked about it and most of the times since. This is the first time that J has taken the lead.
We check in with each other every day to make sure we both still want this and that everything is still feeling right.
It feels very right.
I can't say I was looking forward to being spanked again on Tuesday, but I did feel glad it was going to happen. I felt glad J seemed to be really taking control this time. With very little input from me.
(For anyone who doesn't know, I can veto anything at any time if I do not feel right about it. J and I are in an amazing and very trusting relationship and have been together for many years. We know each other well and love each other deeply. There is something about my chemical make up that craves structure and discipline in my life. I work better that way and am always so much happier. But it takes work and time and sometimes J and I don't have either.)
I got so many things done on Tuesday. I cleaned the living room, dusted the whole house, changed the filter in the shower, did the dishes, planned dinner, and a few other little tasks that needed to be done. I also got a workout in. And I still had spare time. I don't know how that happened - I'm usually scrambling for time to get things done and I have barely been doing anything for the past several weeks. I have a problem with laziness. J and I decided that I have to have certain things completed before I can turn on my computer. That has really been helping.
Tuesday's spanking ended up being semi-mild and was only a hand spanking. J then led me to the corner where I stood for what seemed to be 15 minutes. Afterwards I knelt in front of him and thanked him for spanking me. I really do appreciate that he takes the time and effort to help give me structure. I might not have mentioned this before, but I asked for this. I brought it up the first time we talked about it and most of the times since. This is the first time that J has taken the lead.
We check in with each other every day to make sure we both still want this and that everything is still feeling right.
It feels very right.
Jumping right in
My husband, J and I have tried unsuccessfully to create our version of a domestic discipline/LDD/CDD/whatever-you-want-to-call-it lifestyle. We've taken parts we like from different "schools of thought", and have found things we really like. But for some reason, we never stick with it.
This time it feels different, more real. I didn't try to tell him what to do this time, I let him take the reigns. We're not trying to lay out rules and charts and schedules this time. We're just going to take it day by day and see where it takes us. It feels more natural than ever before this time.
We started on Monday. J informed me I would be spanked at 6:15 that evening. The reason for this spanking was to get me back into the swing of things. I had gotten quite lazy lately. I love a clean house, but when I get lazy I don't clean much. I hate this about me. J is trying to help me with that. When I get regular spankings, I am much more motivated to get things clean. Later I get to reap the benefits of a nice clean house, and I am so happy I cleaned it.
These regular spankings also help me remember there are consequences for my actions. There is a certain way I talk to people sometimes that J hates. I hate it too, but I rarely notice I'm even doing it. When I do it, J will spank me or discipline me in another way. I find that I use that negative tone less and less. The regular spankings help me remember I am held accountable for my actions and the way I conduct myself. It is a feeling I love.
I realize this lifestyle is not for everyone, but it is definitely for me.
I have been thinking about starting a blog for awhile. I think it will be a good way for me to express myself, and writing is something I enjoy.
This time it feels different, more real. I didn't try to tell him what to do this time, I let him take the reigns. We're not trying to lay out rules and charts and schedules this time. We're just going to take it day by day and see where it takes us. It feels more natural than ever before this time.
We started on Monday. J informed me I would be spanked at 6:15 that evening. The reason for this spanking was to get me back into the swing of things. I had gotten quite lazy lately. I love a clean house, but when I get lazy I don't clean much. I hate this about me. J is trying to help me with that. When I get regular spankings, I am much more motivated to get things clean. Later I get to reap the benefits of a nice clean house, and I am so happy I cleaned it.
These regular spankings also help me remember there are consequences for my actions. There is a certain way I talk to people sometimes that J hates. I hate it too, but I rarely notice I'm even doing it. When I do it, J will spank me or discipline me in another way. I find that I use that negative tone less and less. The regular spankings help me remember I am held accountable for my actions and the way I conduct myself. It is a feeling I love.
I realize this lifestyle is not for everyone, but it is definitely for me.
I have been thinking about starting a blog for awhile. I think it will be a good way for me to express myself, and writing is something I enjoy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
