Skipped a day

On Monday I asked J if we could skip my appointment. I've been stressed out the past few weeks and I felt like I needed a break that day. I didn't think I was in a good place, mentally or emotionally to take a spanking. J was ok with that, but said we would resume on Wednesday.

Wednesday was today and I still wasn't exactly into the idea of getting spanked, but I no longer felt like it would be emotionally bad for me like I did the other day. J asked me if I have been feeling motivated and I said no. So he asked if we should go back to every day spankings. I said definitely No!

J assured me that even though I might not be into this right now, he is going to make sure to keep up with it. Every other time we would have stopped and gotten out of the routine of spanking. And after a short time we would both be wishing we never stopped. He said this time he's not going to allow that to happen.

My J is so strong and takes such good care of me. He has been the best husband in so many ways, but lately his will to be consistent has been shining through. Hopefully that will help get me through the times when I am not interested in being spanked!

The Puppy Papers

I recently mentioned that I was reading The Puppy Papers. I just finished it tonight.

This book consists of emails between Sharon (puppy) and Steven (the Dom). As the book goes on, they're mostly just Sharon's emails to Steven. He doesn't always respond (or he just didn't publish his responses).

Steven is a very experienced Dom and is also involved in the porn business. Sharon has limited experience, but is very eager to learn.

Right away Steven stresses the importance of compassion, trust, and respect. He's also quick to state that even when he's in complete control, he is aware of his sub's headspace and safety. These are things I can appreciate that I think are important in any relationship.

Sharon is self aware and seems to be able to put her feelings into words that are relatable. She's very honest about what she wants and who she is. She is very willing to explore and learn about herself and about being a sub. She has no conflict or guilt, about what she feels, just an overwhelming desire for completeness. She says she communicates better through writing than she does in person, which is something I can relate to, as I do the same thing,

As the relationship progresses it seems like Sharon starts pushing for more of a permanent thing, but she tries to be subtle about it. She often drops hints, like saying how much she wishes they could spend more time together and she wants to serve him more often. She also mentions she'd like to serve him 24/7. He rarely returns a comment when she mentions it.

The book does insinuate bestiality, which is not something I'm into. She doesn't go into any detail about it though, so it didn't turn me off of the book.

There were times when I thought some of the stories of Sharon's past might be exaggerations, but then I think of my own life and realized I did some crazy shit when I was younger. Even dangerous things that now I can't believe I did, so it's possible it's all true.

I'd recommend the book if it's a subject you are interested in. Being all emails, it's an easy book to read. I was able to get through it pretty quickly (when I could find time to actually sit down and read).

Communication

This is the latest post on Submissive Journal Prompts
http://www.submissiveguide.com/journalprompts/

"How does your owner expect you to communicate when you are angry/upset?"

In my case I don't have an owner, but I do have a dominant husband. And he expects full honesty and open communication. Which works out great for me, not only do I value honesty, but I also tend to be blunt and uncensored sometimes.

Thankfully J and I haven't had to deal with any distrust or jealousy issues, and our communication has never been a problem. It's one of the reasons our version of DD works so well for us.

I'm nearing the end of The Puppy Papers by Puppy Sharon & Steven Toushin. I should have a report for you in the next few days.

The Puppy Papers

I recently started a new book called The Puppy Papers by Puppy Sharon & Steven Toushin. I just started it, so I don't have much to say yet.

This is the description from the back of the book:
This unique and honest story traces one middle American woman’s journey into kinky sex. After 18 years of trying to be the perfect wife, mother, church member, friend, and professional, she realizes something big is missing in her life. With a few strokes of the keyboard, she stumbles into the amazing sexual hunting grounds of the Internet, falling with eyes open into the world of adult personal ads.

As only a puppy can, she eagerly jumps into BDSM on her first real-time encounter, meeting the man who becomes her first master. With that initial taste of kinky sex, a desire that laid dormant for many years came alive so strong that there was no going back. Beginning with the man she first called master, puppy embarked upon a search for her true Master. This book is the result of six months of e-mail correspondence with her current Master, that began as He desired to know her better.

Since puppy is a quiet woman around her Master, it was only through the written word that her story emerged, eventually taking on a life of its own. puppy’s story includes memories of herself as a little girl learning about her body, her sexual awakenings in her teen years, and the maturing of her libidinal desires. There is no conflict or guilt in puppy’s story, just an overwhelming desire for completeness.

In other news, I have been going to the gym according to the schedule J has set for me, so I've avoided being grounded so far.

I've also been motivated enough to complete my to-do list every day. I even started spring cleaning and have done many extra chores. And J and I are finally going to paint the office this weekend. I'm excited to pick a new color; the current paint is dingy and dull.

Spring is here!